A Really Disturbing "Joke"

[The_Angelus]

It’s me again, the Great Complainer. I was with some of my buddies. We were trading jokes, and the following one cropped up:

"Three men are standing in line at the pearly gates in front of St. Peter. St. Peter says, “Okay, guys. Welcome to Purgatory. Heaven is 1,000,000 miles from here. How fast you get there is going to depend on how good you were to your wives on earth.”
"The first man steps up. He says, “I tried to be a good husband. Every day I would tell my wife how beautiful she looked and what a wonderful wife she was. I brought her flowers every week, worked extra hours to support her. I never forgot our anniversary or her birthday. I loved her until the day she died and past it. I went to pray at her grave every day.”
"St. Peter claps him on the shoulder and says, “Good man!” He hands him a set of car keys and snaps his fingers, and a red Lamborghini (sp?) appears. “Bless you, and be on your way,” he concludes. The man steps into the car, thanks him, and zooms off.
"The second guy steps up. He says, “Well, I tried, but I cheated on my wife once. I was sorry afterwards and tried to make up to her for it, but I still cheated on her. And we had a lot of big arguments.” So St. Peter snaps his fingers again, and a motor scooter appears. The man thanks him and rolls off.
"THe third man steps hesitantly up. He says, “Well, St. Peter, I guess I was pretty bad. I got drunk with my paycheck and hit my wife a couple of times. I would go out with other women and I cheated on her a lot. I never thanked her for staying with me or even for doign my laundry.”
“St. Peter snaps his fingers, and hands the third man a skateboard. And number three rolls off.”
"Well, a few hundred miles down the road, he sees a red Lamborghini parked on the shoulder. So he gets off the skateboard and sees the first man inside, sobbing his heart out.
"Number three shakes the first man gently. “Hey, what’s wrong?” he asks.
“The first man looks up with his eyes full of tears. “I just passed my wife. She was on roller skates.””

I don’t know what it is, but I didn’t think this joke was very funny. It’s pretty sad, to me. I just - well, I don’t know, but I’m disturbed. Has anyone else heard this one?

 

[Ana]

I think it’s plain stupid … AS IF we will be rewarded in Heaven with such base things!

 

[AlanFromWichita]

First I separate out the joke from the message.

The message is that this man was good to his wife and found out post mortem that she was not in return.

That could be considered a non-joking subject, unless used for a very specific purpose by a highly skilled practitioner. I can see how the complexity of the joke can distract a typical listener from the ugliness of the actual message which really is just a statement rather than containing any moral ramifications.

Other than that, I don’t have any problem with the style because it is a mockery on the marriage of the individual man and not the Church, and the Church overhead really does nothing to mock the Church. The Church’s role in this joke, I assume, is to add ironic gravity to the situation by making the judgment about his wife absolute. In a strange way, it supports the notion that St. Peter and the Church have a heavenly role to play in our lives after death. If the joke were constructed around hearsay, the punch line would not have had as much authority so I don’t feel offended on behalf of the Church.

That said, it wasn’t too amusing to me. I think we were supposed to be amused at the manner in which he found out, coupled with the complete surrender the man had in changing his life before death based on that information. Kind of like a “fooled you and it’s too late now” joke. No, if this joke stands a chance at being funny, it’s going to need a better exaggeration than the ultimate finality of receiving bad news about a spouse’s fidelity.

Actually, I thought the man might be just as well off in the long run, to get back in his car and keep driving. In heaven he isn’t married anyway, and since he didn’t know her betrayal then he did not have to deal with that one test – so he really should just pass her right by as if he didn’t even recognize her. As it was, he treated her properly on earth so he should still receive his award in heaven, whether she makes it or not. I’m not worried about the guy’s soul. I’m glad the woman is on roller skates, though, and not riding on a slippery-slide.

Alan

 

[Ham1]

This joke is mildly amusing, but not really that funny. I wouldn’t call it disturbing, at least not to me.

 

[AlanFromWichita]

Ham1:

This joke is mildly amusing, but not really that funny. I wouldn’t call it disturbing, at least not to me.

Yeah, that’s what I meant!