A reflection on the Agony in the Garden from my life

[workinprogress]

I never did sweat blood but I did sweat, I’m sure, as I had to get a paper done and I was running out of time. It may have been the next day. I had little to nothing for my paper. Christ didn’t procrastinate in his life, but I tend to way too often. I was trying to fit everything in I needed to do before the deadline as I’m sure Jesus was. I’m sure I have had tests the next day that was more in connection to Christ dreading the suffering anguish later that night and the next day. Anyway, I was in a panic and pacing and could barely think straight (I had little spiritual life in me then and so praying didn’t occur to me–though I believe I did get a comforter anyway and that probably was The Comforter or my Guardian Angel because I regained my composure). I knew it had to be done and so I got it done. It all worked out. Fortunately, I was not carrying the burden of others on my back during that trial. I can’t say I felt that weight that I can remember.

Anyone have a more comparable dark night of the soul on even the most minute of levels (as mine was) in comparison to Christ’s?

 

[MountainMan]

At first I couldn’t think of any such experiences in my life, then I realized that I am experiencing a miniture version of the Garden right now. I am in preparation for the renewal of my Total Consecration to Jesus through Mary (St. Louis Marie de Montfort) and it has been especially challenging this year. About a month ago I visited a Catholic book store and found a book called *A Spiritual Journey with St. Louis de Montfort,*by James M. Hanlon and published by Montfort Press. It is a nine day preparation for the Consecration that has made me realize that although my original Consecration was at least 10 years ago I have not progressed nearly as much as I would like to think. I find myself only at the very beginning stages of the spiritual journey with Mary, still fighting Her every step of the way. This fact, combined with the election of Pope Benedict XVI and all he faces leaves me with a gnawing sensation in the pit of my stomach most of the day. I feel the weight of my own sinfulness and at times it seems I also feel the weight of the world’s sin. I pray and attempt to fast (with limited success). My renewal will come on April 28, feast day of St. Louis de Montfort. Please keep me in your prayers as that day approaches. Thank you, and my God bless you!

Chuck

 

[workinprogress]

I thought that consecration took like about 30 days. I was afraid I’d screw up and blow it. Despite my tendency to be preachy, I do admit tepidity (I just enjoy that and this forum may be something to give up as a penance because I can misbehave here; but I also wonder if I have a call to offer deep thoughts with authorized guidance to balance my passions–but that’s me).

If I join a religious community, apart from the sinful or near-occasion-of-sin saturated environment I live in, I’ll have the courage to try. Same for a spiritual director. Maybe my Pride is blocking the Lord’s will for my life or I’d have both those benefits by now. I’m too heady. I should pray more. I’ve just have had a flood of curiousities and deep thoughts (of whatever worth, if any) that have come to my head recently. I thought maybe I could get objective, or at least other, takes on those thoughts for whatever motive.

It could just be attention-getting and attachments to liking being taken seriously. I’m trying to conquer bad habits but I’m not doing well, because I stay up too late, pray too little, suffer too less often in even small ways and lacking humility (writing this stuff could be false humility) in posting my insights and checking others’ responses to them–and arguing more. Pray for me and I’ll say a prayer for the one seeking the DeMontfort consecration.

 

[MountainMan]

work(name removed by moderator)rogress:

I thought that consecration took like about 30 days.

Work - yes, in fact the original consecration takes 33 days of preparatory prayer. It is well worth the time and effort, however. There are several recommended days for making the Consecration, feasts related to our Blessed Mother, and mine happens to fall on the feast day of St. Louis himself. I had originally intended to wait until the feast of the Assumptioni, but once introduced to the consecration by friend, I found I was too impatient to wait. Pride is a major problem in my life also, a I’m sure it is a big part of the reason I have made so little progress in the spiritual journey. At the same time, I believe my stubborn perseverance has been blessed and supported by my Heavenly Mother as She attempts to lead me to Her Son.

I hope you find this encouraging, and find the will to at least investigate the Consecration, then follow it. As St. Louis wrote, “It is a sure, easy, and secure way to Jesus.”

Chuck