A Right to Deceased Relative's Information?

  • Thread starter Thread starter BlueMantle
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
B

BlueMantle

Guest
My mother died over 2 decades ago. My grandmother (mother’s mother) moved thousands of miles from our hometown about 20 years ago to live near her son, my mother’s brother. She had a house built close by. My uncle has always been flighty about finances and has been helped out of scrapes all his life by my grandmother. As she declined in memory and health these last few years, somehow he was juggling both her mortgage and his. He would pay one mortgage until the other mortgage was 3 months behind, and then flip and do the same with the other one. I don’t know all the particulars. He told my husband this. But I do know that he’s regularly under financial panic with credit cards, mortgage etc. It’s been this way for about 40 years.

My grandmother passed away last fall. I am assuming she left her house to him. I have no information because he and I are not close and I also wouldn’t ask him questions about his finances or her finances.

Last week, his daughter who has been living in my grandmother’s house texted me and asked if I knew my deceased mother’s social security number. I texted back and said that I did not have that. I texted my uncle and said the same thing.

Here’s the question: at that very moment, I did not know for sure that I did not have the number. However, the second question is, am I obligated to give the ss# to my uncle because he asked for it? I don’t know what he could be doing with it at this late date and frankly was suspicious due to my knowledge of his financial manueverings in the past.

I have subsequently found her ss# in some old certificates I have and I’m wondering if I have to confess this and also if I should even be keeping her death certificate and ssn#
 
BlueMantle said:
Last week, his daughter who has been living in my grandmother’s house texted me and asked if I knew my deceased mother’s social security number. I texted back and said that I did not have that. I texted my uncle and said the same thing.
Click to expand...
Oh, wow.

That’s not good.

There are all sorts of possibilities here: it’s possible that you were left some sort of share in the house and/or that your uncle and cousin are engaging in identity theft, and were planning to use your deceased mother’s SS number.

If you’re financially comfortable, it might be worth your while to talk to a lawyer about this situation.

In any case, I would check my credit regularly if I were you.

Best wishes!
 
I can’t think of any possibility where they would need your mother’s SSN (and I find it odd that they didn’t tell you the reason why they were requesting it) . You did the right thing by not giving it.
 
I can’t think of a good reason for “needing” the ss# of someone who died that long ago.

If you have, or can get, your mother’s death certificate, I suggest send copies to the big three credit bureaus, with a request to mark her account as “Deceased - do not issue credit.” They should send you confirmation that they’ve done so.
 
angel12 said:
I can’t think of a good reason for “needing” the ss# of someone who died that long ago.

If you have, or can get, your mother’s death certificate, I suggest send copies to the big three credit bureaus, with a request to mark her account as “Deceased - do not issue credit.” They should send you confirmation that they’ve done so.
Click to expand...
I didn’t know you could do that, that’s a great idea though. ( ❤️ Out of likes)
 
BlueMantle said:
I have no information because he and I are not close and I also wouldn’t ask him questions about his finances or her finances.
Click to expand...
If the estate went through probate, that is public record and would be filed with the court.
BlueMantle said:
am I obligated to give the ss# to my uncle because he asked for it?
Click to expand...
No. Whoever is the executor of the estate would already have that information. You are not under any obligation to give it, moreover you should not give it.
BlueMantle said:
I’m wondering if I have to confess this
Click to expand...
I don’t know why you think you would have to confess this. You didn’t do anything wrong.
 
Last edited:
Just fyi, he can easily get her ssn on line by looking up the death certificate. I was surprised to see my grandfather’s ssn, when I was researching via ancestory. Com. He died in 1964.
 
QwertyGirl said:
Just fyi, he can easily get her ssn on line by looking up the death certificate. I was surprised to see my grandfather’s ssn, when I was researching via ancestory. Com. He died in 1964.
Click to expand...
Ooooooh!

But don’t tell him that.
 
QwertyGirl said:
Just fyi, he can easily get her ssn on line by looking up the death certificate. I was surprised to see my grandfather’s ssn, when I was researching via ancestory. Com. He died in 1964.
Click to expand...
Yes, I was thinking about this too, and wanted to post about it and then got distracted and then forgot about it.

If you’re looking up information on a family member regarding ancestry or even obituary information, sometimes this information will come up in a search.

I’ve seen it when looking for family information myself, too.

I personally don’t think that it should be posted publically, as I think that it can be misused if someone doesn’t have good intentions.

The reason that it is probably put up though, is for those doing honest family history research. They may need it for records information.
 
Cruciferi said:
Consult a lawyer ASAP. Don’t provide any information until you’ve received legal counseling.
Click to expand...
Speaking as an attorney . . . this is exactly what you should be doing.

The probate court courts it all out, but someone needs to file a petition.

The only thing I recall needing SS numbers for is finding account numbers with creditors, telling SS of the death, and the final year tax return.

hawk, esq.
 
QwertyGirl said:
Just fyi, he can easily get her ssn on line by looking up the death certificate. I was surprised to see my grandfather’s ssn, when I was researching via ancestory. Com. He died in 1964.
Click to expand...
These days, as an attorney, I am required to “redact” the SS number from the death certificate before filing it for probate.

I assume that this isa true in nearly all states, but . . .

hawk, esq.
 
dochawk said:
These days, as an attorney, I am required to “redact” the SS number from the death certificate before filing it for probate.

I assume that this isa true in nearly all states, but . . .

hawk, esq.
Click to expand...
This should be required! I was so surprised to have access to so many decreased relatives’ ssn. It just seemed so wrong. Actually kind of creeped me out. Way too personal. Maybe I felt like that because I knew these people when they were alive. I let my subscription expire.
 
Thank you for your helpful responses. I’d like to believe my uncle is researching family history, although seems unlikely. He didn’t offer any reason. But it’s his issue.

God bless 😊
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top