A single repented rapist or sex offender?

[chevalier]

In one forum on the internet, we have had many discussions of various crimes and of sex crimes as well and we have discussed a great deal of customs and social life in various cultures. One of the conclusions at which I arrived from all those discussions was that I could come up with all sorts of repented criminals, even ones that became saints later. All sorts of criminals, but sex offenders weren’t among them.

Most probably, all men with little exception have done something to deserve a slap on the wrists from the targetted woman. Most have repented, changed their ways, grown up, whatever. But there’s a long way from here to those outlawed kinds of behaviour.

I could think of repented adulterers and repented remarried divorcees among the saints, but no repented rapist or molester. A google search returned practically no stories except some really bizarre ones without a lot of immediately striking credibility.

It’s possible to repent of all sins, as God Himself has said so. But this kind of a crime seems to be a very unrepentant category. I could imagine a stoned idiot recovering and realising what he had done and repenting of it. But your average rapist or molester making amends? I’ll sooner believe in faeries.

So, to sum it up and finish off, does anyone know even a single story of a repenting rapist or molester?

 

[vern_humphrey]

chevalier:

In one forum on the internet, we have had many discussions of various crimes and of sex crimes as well and we have discussed a great deal of customs and social life in various cultures. One of the conclusions at which I arrived from all those discussions was that I could come up with all sorts of repented criminals, even ones that became saints later. All sorts of criminals, but sex offenders weren’t among them.

Most probably, all men with little exception have done something to deserve a slap on the wrists from the targetted woman. Most have repented, changed their ways, grown up, whatever. But there’s a long way from here to those outlawed kinds of behaviour.

I could think of repented adulterers and repented remarried divorcees among the saints, but no repented rapist or molester. A google search returned practically no stories except some really bizarre ones without a lot of immediately striking credibility.

It’s possible to repent of all sins, as God Himself has said so. But this kind of a crime seems to be a very unrepentant category. I could imagine a stoned idiot recovering and realising what he had done and repenting of it. But your average rapist or molester making amends? I’ll sooner believe in faeries.

So, to sum it up and finish off, does anyone know even a single story of a repenting rapist or molester?

It depends on what you mean. Do I know of rapists or child molestors who SAY they have repented? Yes.

I assume your Diocese participates in the Virtus (c) program, Protecting God’s Children (in the Diocese of Little Rock it is mandatory for eveyone who works with children.)

The program includes training in spotting and preventing potential abuse. There are two videotapes, and one of them includes two convicted child molesters talking about the ways they won the confidence of their victims – it’s chilling, but they claim to sincerely repent what they did.

Now, would I trust either of them to baby-sit my 2-year old grand daughter – no way in H*ll!!

If you don’t have the program, your Diocese or parish can obtain it from

The National Catholic Risk Retention Group, Inc.
801 Warrenville Road, Suite 175
Lisle, IL 60532

(630) 725-0986

 

[Ray_Scheel]

chevalier:

So, to sum it up and finish off, does anyone know even a single story of a repenting rapist or molester?

~ Having assisted in the supervision some of each in a correctional setting, I’m doubtful about the ability of child molesters or stranger rapists to move beyond simply successfully suppressing the urges long term. They were C R E E P Y, even after 10+ years in, including therapeutic work.

But a one time date rapist that’s 10+ years out from the offense and seems to ahve a grip is probably okay.

 

[Lisa4Catholics]

With God all things are possible,with that being said,we are all sinners when we say the act of contrition we promise to avoid all near occasions of sin,so with the molesters and sex offenders and rapists,do they not have to do the same thing?Also I would like to add that you have to wonder if they have some demonic problems

 

[JimO]

Alessandro Serenelli, St. Maria Goretti’s killer, was trying to rape her (he was 20 and she was 11) when he stabbed and killed her for resisting. She forgave him and he later repented and spent much of his life serving in a monastery. Google her name for the full story.

 

[Mom_of_one]

Well, I know the possibility is there. There was someone just arrested in my town for kidnapping and child molestation. (I posted this story on another forum.) At this time, there’s only three known victims, and if that’s all there is, that’s a miracle. Anyway, apparently this guy has said that he’s sorry. But that’s not why I posted. What strikes me is that this man has said in the past to his friends that HE WAS SEXUALLY ABUSED. So, if that’s true, obviously this man needs some serious counseling and healing from God. I don’t want to sound like I am making excuses for this guy, but I do know that the devil can prey on our woundedness. Different people act out in different ways when we are wounded. Yes, these things are choices, but how much “choice” do we really have when we are in agonizing emotional pain?

That said, I would still never let anyone with a history of this in my house or around my child. People can say they are sorry all they want, but you still never know what they do when you are not around.

 

[vern_humphrey]

Momofone:

Well, I know the possibility is there. There was someone just arrested in my town for kidnapping and child molestation. (I posted this story on another forum.) At this time, there’s only three known victims, and if that’s all there is, that’s a miracle. Anyway, apparently this guy has said that he’s sorry. But that’s not why I posted. What strikes me is that this man has said in the past to his friends that HE WAS SEXUALLY ABUSED. So, if that’s true, obviously this man needs some serious counseling and healing from God. I don’t want to sound like I am making excuses for this guy, but I do know that the devil can prey on our woundedness. Different people act out in different ways when we are wounded. Yes, these things are choices, but how much “choice” do we really have when we are in agonizing emotional pain?

That said, I would still never let anyone with a history of this in my house or around my child. People can say they are sorry all they want, but you still never know what they do when you are not around.

This reminds me of an incident described by Edward Abby in “Desert Solitare.” Abby, a committed environmentalist was a summer employee at Arches National Monument back in the days when it was really remote, and had no paved or even improved roads. As a “Summer Ranger” he lived in a trailer, in the middle of nowhere, with a single electric line coming miles across the desert.

One morning early in his tour, he got up, went out and sat down on the front steps to put his boots on – and saw a rattlesnake between his bare feet!

It was cold and the snake was sluggish. He jerked his feet out of the way, managed to jump over it, and got a shovel from the toolshed. Now, it is illegal to kill anything in a National Mounment, so he scooped up the snake, carried it a quarter of a mile out into the desert and left it there.

A couple of mornings later, he came out of the trailer, and there was the snake, coiled at the foot of the steps. Again, he jumped over it, got a shovel from the toolshed. scooped up the snake, carried it a half a mile out into the desert and left it there.

The next morning, there was the snake again. Once more, he jumped over it, got the shovel from the toolshed, and chopped that snake into small pieces.

The moral of this story is, you can only cut a rattlesnake so much slack.

 

[Mom_of_one]

vern humphrey:

This reminds me of an incident described by Edward Abby in “Desert Solitare.” Abby, a committed environmentalist was a summer employee at Arches National Monument back in the days when it was really remote, and had no paved or even improved roads. As a “Summer Ranger” he lived in a trailer, in the middle of nowhere, with a single electric line coming miles across the desert.

One morning early in his tour, he got up, went out and sat down on the front steps to put his boots on – and saw a rattlesnake between his bare feet!

It was cold and the snake was sluggish. He jerked his feet out of the way, managed to jump over it, and got a shovel from the toolshed. Now, it is illegal to kill anything in a National Mounment, so he scooped up the snake, carried it a quarter of a mile out into the desert and left it there.

A couple of mornings later, he came out of the trailer, and there was the snake, coiled at the foot of the steps. Again, he jumped over it, got a shovel from the toolshed. scooped up the snake, carried it a half a mile out into the desert and left it there.

The next morning, there was the snake again. Once more, he jumped over it, got the shovel from the toolshed, and chopped that snake into small pieces.

The moral of this story is, you can only cut a rattlesnake so much slack.

Slack? Not from me. They should be throw in jail and the key thrown away. BUT, I do believe that there is mercy, too. I really believe that a person can be so wounded that they react out of their own agony. That does NOT, in any way, shape, or form mean that we should not protect others from sexual predators, it just means, to me that they need God’s healing because they are broken in a way that I can’t imagine.

 

[vern_humphrey]

Momofone:

Slack? Not from me. They should be throw in jail and the key thrown away. BUT, I do believe that there is mercy, too. I really believe that a person can be so wounded that they react out of their own agony. That does NOT, in any way, shape, or form mean that we should not protect others from sexual predators, it just means, to me that they need God’s healing because they are broken in a way that I can’t imagine.

I agree that from a Catholic point of view, we ought to look on everyone as being capable of repentance and change. But in the case of sex offenders – especially child molesters – the risk to the most helpless and innocent is simply too great and the rate of escalating recidivism too high to accept that such people can be cured or reformed.

This is what I mean by the difference between private and public morality. As an individual, I can forgive and pray for such a person. But if I were an official with a responsibility for public safety, I’d have to accept that such a person is a rattlesnake, lying in wait for a victim.

 

[BLB_Oregon]

vern humphrey:

I agree that from a Catholic point of view, we ought to look on everyone as being capable of repentance and change. But in the case of sex offenders – especially child molesters – the risk to the most helpless and innocent is simply too great and the rate of escalating recidivism too high to accept that such people can be cured or reformed.

This is what I mean by the difference between private and public morality. As an individual, I can forgive and pray for such a person. But if I were an official with a responsibility for public safety, I’d have to accept that such a person is a rattlesnake, lying in wait for a victim.

I agree.
Someone who commits perjury should never be admitted to the bar.
Someone embezzles who should never be trusted with the money of others.
A pedophile should never have unsupervised contact with children.
These are positions of trust, most particularly the care of children, and should only be given to those who have never violated that trust. It is sad, because so many pedophiles were violated themselves as children, but on those grounds they need to be understanding of what is at stake.

 

[Mom_of_one]

vern humphrey:

I agree that from a Catholic point of view, we ought to look on everyone as being capable of repentance and change. But in the case of sex offenders – especially child molesters – the risk to the most helpless and innocent is simply too great and the rate of escalating recidivism too high to accept that such people can be cured or reformed.

This is what I mean by the difference between private and public morality. As an individual, I can forgive and pray for such a person. But if I were an official with a responsibility for public safety, I’d have to accept that such a person is a rattlesnake, lying in wait for a victim.

I absolutely agree. Love the sinner, hate the sin. Even though I believe that it is possible for repentance and change, that doesn’t mean that I don’t think we should lock 'em up and throw away the key. Truthfully, if it were my child, I’d have a hard time not beating them to a bloody pulp and then killing them. BUT, I also believe that they need serious help of the kind that only God can provide.
The only reason I posted in the first place was to say that there’s always hope, even if they stay locked away forever.

 

[Mom_of_one]

BLB_Oregon:

I agree.
Someone who commits perjury should never be admitted to the bar.
Someone embezzles who should never be trusted with the money of others.
A pedophile should never have unsupervised contact with children.
These are positions of trust, most particularly the care of children, and should only be given to those who have never violated that trust. It is sad, because so many pedophiles were violated themselves as children, but on those grounds they need to be understanding of what is at stake.

Again, I completely agree.
But I am not sure if they are capable of understanding of what is at stake. Abusers often abuse their own kids, maybe not the same way as they were abused, but they still do it. I think it is some sort of “need to recreate the events to fix it” kind of thing.

 

[K777angel]

I must recommend a wonderful new book I just finished reading! It relates so well to this topic. It is called, "The Prisoner" by Rev. Paul Everret. (I think the sub-title might be “An Invitation to Hope” - I don’t have my book with me right now).

It is the amazing true story of a man who was not only a sex offender (rapist) but a murderer! He murdered his pregnant wife!. He was sentenced to life in prison. Grew up with a terrible and lonely childhood and was full of hate and rage.
And ended up becoming a humble Catholic monk! And paroled from prison after serving 20 years. It was a long journey and will really inspire you.
I could NOT put this book down! It is a real witness to God’s mercy and love and patience.
I highly recommend it. (I just ordered a copy to be sent to my own brother who sits in jail right now. I hope he will pass it around when he is finished reading it).