A son's simple question

[evolved]

First of all, I am an Atheist. But, that isn’t really why I’m here. My parents are devout Catholics. I am currently attending University and have been an Atheist for several years, how should I discuss this with my parents? I don’t want to disappoint them, which is why I’ve kept it a secret for so long. What would you want your child to do? How would you most like to hear this information, assuming you cannot possibly change my mind (I’m not saying my mind cannot be changed, I just doubt my parents have the ability to do so.) I don’t mean offense to anyone here, and it is out of my great respect for the Catholic faith that I ask this question.

 

[Edward_H]

Love your parents very much. Don’t lose your childhood-outlook. Don’t stick your atheism into conversations under the guise of truth or as some statement of independence. Respect them and love them. Sacrifice for them in quiet ways, calling them, writing them, finding gifts for them, or doing quiet acts of charity to others in honor of them.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

My fiance and I both went through this, and we still can’t think of a good way to do it. I spent two or three years casually throwing out comments like about how even though so and so was a Christian we were still best friends, and how I would love to be able to vote for a non religious presidential candidate, and eventually she just started accurately assuming I was an atheist. (My family is protestant). My fiance waited until we were engaged and used our wedding planning as an opening. It went pretty smoothly, but I can’t imagine you want to wait that long. (His family is Catholic.) You don’t want to fake being religious, because you’ll start being resentful and the truth will have to come out sometime. But at the same time just telling them out of no where feels, and could be taken by your parents as antagonistic.

I feel for you, but sadly I have no advice because there just isn’t a good way.

 

[TwinboysRachel2]

evolved…If you were my child I would want you to tell me. Yes, it will hurt at first but I would rather my child be straight upfront with me. Maybe your supposed to be questioning certain things that give you doubts about whatever it may be. How do you not know your parents can’t help you? I have two 16 year old sons and they tell me once in a while how they doubt God is real, they have atheist friends, but as long as we communicate we all learn. It’s good that you question things…it means your smart and thinking. Also, speaking as a mom, I’m so glad your asking your question on here. I think you will be surprised at how much you will learn from both sides.

 

[Cryptic1]

You seem more concerned with not disappointing or hurting your parents, which is good for them but does nothing for you. Parents are resilient however, although I doubt (being Catholic) your parents will accept this decision easily. Once you share the news with them, expect tears, recriminations and guilty feelings all around as this issue will be sure to resurrect old hurts. But sometimes we need to air our grievances in order for the healing process to begin.

I am sorry that you have not been able to find God in your life, because He does exist. If you have ever felt a yearning in your heart for something deeper that cannot be satsified by what this world has to offer, it is God’s desire that He has placed in your heart and in the heart of every person on earth so that you may come to know Him. While I respect your decision to remain an atheist, I pray that you and your parents find a middle ground for dialogue, where you can continue to meet and discuss what is truth.

God Rocks

 

[Edward_H]

Don’t worry about taking care of yourself in that sense. Take care of others. Don’t become fixed on ‘you’. Others who love you will take care of you, as you love others, especially your parents. The world has been teasing us to “take care” of ourselves. Some forms of Christianity have bought into this hook, line, and sinker. Most mental illness problems and unhappiness is caused by some form of self-love.

No. Love others always and more everyday, with greater self-forgetfulness, and you and they and the world will be infinitely happier, richer, whether we understand how it works, or not.