A three year convert decerning and I need help

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TaylorSSYM

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Ok almost 3 years, in May. But still I’m discerning about being a nun or not but I have tons of factors in the way at the moment. I’m a senior in high school age 18 and I’m debating harshly about this but I’m not exactly sure how to go about discerning. I’m praying but not as much as I should because I’m not exactly sure what I should be praying. I have spiritual director but I’m not exactly sure what I should be asking in regards to praying for discernment.

One of my problems though is that being a convert my family doesn’t approve much on some stuff with the church. My mom dislikes me becoming a nun and I refuse to even mention it to my dad. As for my step-dad he doesn’t believe int he church at all and harshly criticizes me when I bring anything up about it. I’m confused and I don’t know what to do because I’m scared also. Do I go against my parents and become a nun if I feel that’s where I’m being called or do I get married? :ehh:

I’m just trying to seek a way of trying to understand what nun’s jobs are in the church and trying to seek a way of understanding on how to deal with family. I’m not exactly sure what the nun’s job is in the church but my step-dad told me that they weren’t allowed to talk to any of their family at all when they become nuns. But my step-dad isn’t the best source for help regarding this as he doesn’t believe in the faith at all.

So if anyone has any tips or advice please let me know.

Thank you.
Taylor
 
I am having the same problem as you are. Do I go against my family and friends an join a convent or do I keep the peace and get married and feel like i’m always missing something? I’m 19 and trying to decide a convent is my calling in life.
 
jet100 said:
I am having the same problem as you are. Do I go against my family and friends an join a convent or do I keep the peace and get married and feel like i’m always missing something? I’m 19 and trying to decide a convent is my calling in life.
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I remember reading your post. I know how you feel right now but I noticed that you had said that your currently Presbyterian I would suggest converting to Catholicism first but this is just me. I know personally I became Catholic for the beauty of the church and it’s teachings. I was Protestant before I became Catholic. As for the always missing something part I mention becoming Catholic first because when I did turn Catholic my heart found the missing something which was the church and her sacraments. But this is just what I believe you should do first. By all means please someone who is smarter then myself in this please feel free to answer her also.
Also you will be in my prayers on this subject. :)
 
Both you ladies are in my thought and prayers.
May the Lord Jesus guide you to make the right decisions for yourselves.

Dont forget to go on your knees and pray for his guidance

peace and love
odopa
 
TaylorSSYM said:
I’m not exactly sure what the nun’s job is in the church but my step-dad told me that they weren’t allowed to talk to any of their family at all when they become nuns.
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Most people call any female religious a ‘nun’ but it isn’t technically correct. There is a difference between nuns, who typically live an enclosed life centred on prayer with limited (but at least some) contact with other people including family and friends, and religious sisters, who may do any kind of work and who will typically have more contact with the outside world because they are not restricted to the enclosure of the convent.

In other respects the lifestyles are similar, including the taking of vows or promises, community living, property being shared, and the wearing of religious garb in many cases.

The best way to find out about different institutes of female religious is to look at websites and then contact their vocations directors to discuss things further. An email or phone call doesn’t commit you to anything, but it may help you to understand things better.

catholiclinks.org/women.htm might be a good place to start. 🙂

Best wishes, and I’ll be praying for you.
 
Spend some time in Adoration and if you can get to daily mass -both are really helpful in discernment. Some orders have vocational retreats -can give you a bit of an idea of what Religious life can be like:)🙂
 
Im going through the same thing… I’m discerning my vocation but my family doesn’t want me to be a nun. I think the right thing to do, always, is to seek to follow Christ first 🙂 seek His will… and be charitable and patient at home with your family… He will make it work out. But even if not, His love is worth this suffering.
 
The first thing told to anyone who is discerning a vocation is…

Get a spiritual director.

If you do not know how to go about this speak with your priest and tell him you are discering and need a spiritual director.
 
You are young! Many religious orders may ask that you continue your education for a while.
But you might wish to consider a diocesan vocation discernment day or you might begin to visit come convents. You will need to discern not only if you have a true vocation to religious life but then to what charism or order. In St. Louis I know they have the Carmelites of the Sacred Heart because I have visited there myself.

Many saints had families that did not wish them to enter religious life! But you must seek to follow the path God wishes for you and not only what your family wants for you. It is hard when one is a convert because there is no support, or perhaps open opposition.

Deepen your sacrmental life. Are you able to attend daily or more frequent Mass? Can you come to Adoration? Are you praying the rosary and have daily prayer in your life? Will you go away to college? This may allow you to discern with some more freedom.

God will grant the grace to find your path and Our Lady will help you too. Be patient!

Ave Maria!
 
Luke 14: 26
“If any one comes to me without hating his father 7 and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.”

While you need to respect your parents and listen to them, ultimately you can’t value pleasing them over pleasing God.

You still have a lot to learn about religious life, and obviously so do your parents. Have a spiritual director would be a great help. There is a lot of information online. The USCCB vocation website: foryourvocation.org/ would be a good place to start. You could also talk to the diocesan vocation director or your parish priest.

Many times parents don’t really come around to accepting their child’s vocation until after they enter, but it seems that they usually do.

The works that a sister, or nun, does in the Church vary a lot. A sister or a nun is not so much define by the work she does but by who she is.

As far as visiting and communicating goes, rules vary by community. I am a sister in an apostolic community. I can call home about once a month, can write letters and e-mail. If my family didn’t live so far away they could come and visit sometimes. I go home on vacation for 2 weeks once a year. Perhaps you can let your step-dad know that. 🙂

God bless.
 
ByzCath said:
The first thing told to anyone who is discerning a vocation is…

Get a spiritual director.

If you do not know how to go about this speak with your priest and tell him you are discering and need a spiritual director.
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Oh I have a spiritual director and he’s been helping me a little but it’s still hard though.
Ave_Maria said:
You are young! Many religious orders may ask that you continue your education for a while.
But you might wish to consider a diocesan vocation discernment day or you might begin to visit come convents. You will need to discern not only if you have a true vocation to religious life but then to what charism or order. In St. Louis I know they have the Carmelites of the Sacred Heart because I have visited there myself.

Many saints had families that did not wish them to enter religious life! But you must seek to follow the path God wishes for you and not only what your family wants for you. It is hard when one is a convert because there is no support, or perhaps open opposition.

Deepen your sacrmental life. Are you able to attend daily or more frequent Mass? Can you come to Adoration? Are you praying the rosary and have daily prayer in your life? Will you go away to college? This may allow you to discern with some more freedom.

God will grant the grace to find your path and Our Lady will help you too. Be patient!

Ave Maria!
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I’ve been trying to go to Mass in the morning sometimes. There is a nice 6 am service at my parish that I really like going to but lately I’ve been swamped with school work so I haven’t been able to go. There’s a 24 adoration chapel in my area also but once again homework is keeping me from there. As for the rosary I’m sad to say that I have a slight fear when praying with Mary. I’m getting over it but I do have daily prayer in my life and have begun the LoTH at night. I’m not going away to collage though for two years so until then I’m be in St. Louis but I’m hoping this summer will give me the well needed time to pray that I need and perhaps I can begin a better relationship with Mary as well.
Sister_Rose said:
Luke 14: 26
“If any one comes to me without hating his father 7 and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.”

While you need to respect your parents and listen to them, ultimately you can’t value pleasing them over pleasing God.

You still have a lot to learn about religious life, and obviously so do your parents. Have a spiritual director would be a great help. There is a lot of information online. The USCCB vocation website: foryourvocation.org/ would be a good place to start. You could also talk to the diocesan vocation director or your parish priest.

Many times parents don’t really come around to accepting their child’s vocation until after they enter, but it seems that they usually do.

The works that a sister, or nun, does in the Church vary a lot. A sister or a nun is not so much define by the work she does but by who she is.

As far as visiting and communicating goes, rules vary by community. I am a sister in an apostolic community. I can call home about once a month, can write letters and e-mail. If my family didn’t live so far away they could come and visit sometimes. I go home on vacation for 2 weeks once a year. Perhaps you can let your step-dad know that. 🙂

God bless.
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Like I said before I have a spiritual director but it’s still hard for me right now. God’s not talking to me… at least how I want lol. Key words are that I’m not being very patient but I am trying to pray a lot more in hopes He will reveal what His will is for me. At the moment I’m also on a dating fast in hopes that if I only focus on discerning my vocation an answer will come but at the moment nothing really been said to me expect to keep up with my schooling.

My spiritual director has been having me pray a lot though and encouraging me to do the LoTH at night and that’s really been putting my heart and mind at ease a lot. I’m just worried that I’m not going to figure out what He’s calling me to do and I go on the wrong path. I pray every night for His will to be done but I don’t know if it is. I feel at peace sometimes and I know that means I’m doing His will but sometimes I just can’t tell and I’m beginning to feel discouraged about where He’s leading me.
 
Taylor to keep the door of influnce open to your parents, put the nun thing on the back burner.

In the mean time, pray for your parents’ salvation and live a godly example that they can not deny.

Hang out and study with godly people so that you may mature in the faith.

So, that later when you decide to become a nun or marry you will be exactly where God wants you to be.

You are only in your teens and you have a long life ahead of you.

You can serve God in “secular” pursuits as well as serve him in religious calling.

This is just my opinion.
 
TaylorSSYM said:
My spiritual director has been having me pray a lot though and encouraging me to do the LoTH at night and that’s really been putting my heart and mind at ease a lot. I’m just worried that I’m not going to figure out what He’s calling me to do and I go on the wrong path. I pray every night for His will to be done but I don’t know if it is. I feel at peace sometimes and I know that means I’m doing His will but sometimes I just can’t tell and I’m beginning to feel discouraged about where He’s leading me.
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Don’t get anxious about finding your vocation. If your honestly trying to do God’s will, and trying to pray and listen to Him, why would He let you go wrong. He wants you to find your vocation. He wants you to be happy. Things will become clearer with time. Don’t be discouraged by God’s seeming silence. Sometimes prayer can be like that.
 
As the others have said, you have time for this decision. Don’t be so anxious. Perserverence is very important. If you feel inside yourself that you want a religious life–“to thine own self be true”. This is your life. You are the one who will be trying the vocation, not your family. You and your Lord are the ones who must test out what your relatinship will be. Don’t fly off the handle and get married, but go slowly…deliberately toward the goal. Research nuns and sisters and visit many websites and email different orders. You need more information to make a good decision. And even if you make a poor decision–God will still be there for you. I am a convert getting ready to become a postulant with the Servants of the Sacred Cross. My family doesn’t understand any of it–they are protestants. They don’t even want to discuss it. But the Lord is my Love, not them. I have to answer for my life, not them. To thine own self be true–and you will never go wrong!👍
 
My advice is get a college education first. Others may disagree but nowadays a college degree is like a high school diploma used to be. Also, be careful of groups like Regnum Christi which will try to get you to join right away.

Also beware of groups that will tell you that your salvation depends on a vocation do their group!
 
The Secular Franciscan Order has a Secular Youth Program and Secular Young Adult Program set up for young peopel just like yourself. You basically make a profession until age 26. At age 26 should you want to make a full profession into the Secular Order you can do that or you can look into other vocations at that time. It gives you a chance to get to know people and talk to people. If you are interested in this program please PM me and I will do my best to get you in touch with someone in your Region. God bless you.
 
HI

I AM VERY HAPPY FOR YOUR CONVERSION. NOW LETS GO STRAIGHT TO THE LINE.
  1. YOU SHALL OFFER ALL YOUR SUFFERING TO GOD AND THE MOST VIRGIN MARY, REGARDING YOUR FAMILY NOT ACCEPTING GODS WILL. TIME WILL COME WITH YOUR EXAMPLE AS A CATHOLIC THAT THEY WILL DISCERN THAT ITS WORTH OF BEING CATHOLIC.
Code: 
2) YOU NEED TO SEARCH FOR A REAL GOOD SPIRITUAL DIRECTOR. I RECOMEND YOU TO WRITE TO MOTHER ANGELICA AT THE FOLLOWING EMAIL. SHE IS A NUN WHO IS A SAINT AND WILL HELP YOU OUT TO DISCERN YOUR VOCATTION. TO CONTACT HERE PLEASE SEE BELOW
US mail:

EWTN
5817 Old Leeds Rd.
Irondale, Al. 35210-2164

Phone: 205-271-2900

WWW.EWTN.ORG.:)
 
JOSE_MORA said:
HI

I AM VERY HAPPY FOR YOUR CONVERSION. NOW LETS GO STRAIGHT TO THE LINE.
  1. YOU SHALL OFFER ALL YOUR SUFFERING TO GOD AND THE MOST VIRGIN MARY, REGARDING YOUR FAMILY NOT ACCEPTING GODS WILL. TIME WILL COME WITH YOUR EXAMPLE AS A CATHOLIC THAT THEY WILL DISCERN THAT ITS WORTH OF BEING CATHOLIC.
Code: 
2) YOU NEED TO SEARCH FOR A REAL GOOD SPIRITUAL DIRECTOR. I RECOMEND YOU TO WRITE TO MOTHER ANGELICA AT THE FOLLOWING EMAIL. SHE IS A NUN WHO IS A SAINT AND WILL HELP YOU OUT TO DISCERN YOUR VOCATTION. TO CONTACT HERE PLEASE SEE BELOW
US mail:

EWTN
5817 Old Leeds Rd.
Irondale, Al. 35210-2164

Phone: 205-271-2900

WWW.EWTN.ORG.:)
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Ah, my dear friend… you worry too much!

Jesus will guide you to your vocation. Pray, build up a relationship with Him. Spend time in silence and peace, try to give yourself and your worries to Him and tell Him you trust Him. Read books about the saints… they loved Him and found Him where He was to be found, and went through a lot of the same problems we do now. Trust Mary, she is a mother to us and she is the easiest way to Jesus… because she is so close to Him and He loves her.

It is difficult to not have the support of your family… but God will give you strength to follow your vocation, if you are called to enter the religious life. Trust Him.

For now, just be patient :). I will be praying for you. Try to be a saint within your own home, try to get to know Jesus better, and foster peace in your relationship with your family.

God Bless You,
Sadie
seekingavocation.blogspot.com/
 
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