A very, very, very scrupulous question

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Hermione

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I realized that when I made my list of sins I included the names of people I sinned with, caused to commit sins etc.

Also, in detraction I think I may have said whom I detracted and how.

The list is really long (12 pages, which is down from 24 after serious editing), and I feel nauseated about going back and crossing it out.

Do you think it’s okay to just do my best to read over names when I confess, and make an honest mistake if I happen to read a name?

Is it a sin to have this list at all? (Possible detraction if I lose it and someone finds it?) I plan to destroy it after confession.

Thanks!
 
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Hermione:
The list is really long (12 pages, which is down from 24 after serious editing), and I feel nauseated about going back and crossing it out.
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Hmm. Such a long list, yet only 10 commandments. It sounds like you have recalled too much detail. I could be wrong, but I doubt the priest wants all of the details. For example, if you have had a problem with stealing, instead of telling the priest about each of the 50 things that you stole, you would instead tell him that you have stole 50 times and the approximate monetary value of the 50 items. God already knows all of the details.

Maybe you should contact your confessor, right now. Talk this over with him before you enter the confessional.
 
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Hermione:
I realized that when I made my list of sins I included the names of people I sinned with, caused to commit sins etc.

Also, in detraction I think I may have said whom I detracted and how.

The list is really long (12 pages, which is down from 24 after serious editing), and I feel nauseated about going back and crossing it out.

Do you think it’s okay to just do my best to read over names when I confess, and make an honest mistake if I happen to read a name?

Is it a sin to have this list at all? (Possible detraction if I lose it and someone finds it?) I plan to destroy it after confession.

Thanks!
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I think that is so cool you have such a thorough inventory of your life. It will be very healing to confess it and have assurance that your sins are foregiven and are in the past. I’m not sure about the names, though. Obviously including the names in the written inventory was helpful to you, but they probably should not be mentioned in confession. I wouldn’t be hard on yourself if you accidentally mention a name. Sin requires intent, and if it’s an accident, I wouldn’t worry about it.

That’s my :twocents:

Blessings to you!
 
No need to mention the names. I would say that it is prudent to mention the person’s state of life if it heightens the degree of sin (eg. I stole $2 from a dirt poor person who had only $3 on him).

Focus more on the sorrow for your sins.
 
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Stevereeno:
Hmm. Such a long list, yet only 10 commandments. It sounds like you have recalled too much detail. I could be wrong, but I doubt the priest wants all of the details. For example, if you have had a problem with stealing, instead of telling the priest about each of the 50 things that you stole, you would instead tell him that you have stole 50 times and the approximate monetary value of the 50 items. God already knows all of the details.

Maybe you should contact your confessor, right now. Talk this over with him before you enter the confessional.
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That’s a good point that there may be a efficient way of communicating numerous events to a priest. I think a very long and thorough written inventory is good preparation, though. When I was in college, I developed an eating disorder and was benefitted by the 12-step program. My inventory (4th step) was 30 pages long. I was not a Catholic at the time, but writing this inventory and confessing it to another person was one of the most healing experiences I’ve ever had. How much more this would be the case in the sacrament of pennance!
 
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petra:
That’s a good point that there may be a efficient way of communicating numerous events to a priest. I think a very long and thorough written inventory is good preparation, though. When I was in college, I developed an eating disorder and was benefitted by the 12-step program. My inventory (4th step) was 30 pages long. I was not a Catholic at the time, but writing this inventory and confessing it to another person was one of the most healing experiences I’ve ever had. How much more this would be the case in the sacrament of pennance!
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I agree.

Herm:
If you have been encouraged by the RCIA instuctor to make such a detailed list, then by all mean, go for it!! I was concerned that the priest may fluster you if, during your confession, he requests a more summarized list.
 
I dont understand why you needed to write the names down in the first place. Couldnt you list your sins without the names?
 
You sound like you are scrupulous and need help.

I have obsessive-compulsive disorder, and when I was Catholic, I used to have notebooks full of the sins that I thought I had committed. I hope that this doesn’t happen to you. Seek help. Start with a priest who understands the disease.

Good luck. If you want to talk, feel free to private message me.

clarkal
 
You don’t need to list the names of people you sinned against (or with- that is for them to confess).

The most I ever got to was ten pages.
 
Seems to me your list is way too long.
A sin of detraction is a sin of detraction. No details are needed.
(e.g. “I committed sins of detraction by telling other peoples’ faults several times a week over the past month.” Period.)
When confession becomes too detailed, it tends to become too narcissistic.
 
I’ve always gone by the advice I first heard from the priest who was giving my high school retreat: in Confession, be brief, be blunt and begone.
 
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JimG:
Seems to me your list is way too long.
A sin of detraction is a sin of detraction. No details are needed.
(e.g. “I committed sins of detraction by telling other peoples’ faults several times a week over the past month.” Period.)
When confession becomes too detailed, it tends to become too narcissistic.
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I didn’t realize when I first posted this, but after seeing other posts, it seems that Hermione here is talking about her first confession. It’s understandable that a first confession might be longer than normal. Future confessions could be briefer.
 
i’d like to say, hermione, that it’s great that you’re taking your first confession so seriously.

i think that, as many have pointed out, it’s very good to be very thorough in examining your heart in a step by step process, which you’ve done, in preparing for your confession.

and as has been pointed out, too - summing it up a bit is probably a good thing, too. you don’t have to list every single lie you’ve told to confess lying - if one stands out in your memory, confess it - otherwise you can sum up.

and i would argue (gently and compassionately) with clarkal - i think he’s projecting his own (admitted) OCD onto your post. and as he says, he’s not catholic anymore - he’s agnostic… my initial confession made a huge list, too, and anyone who looked at my room would tell you i’m definitely NOT OCD. 😉

God bless you in your confession!
 
Hermione,

What Clarkal said was very true: scrupulosity is very often linked to obsessive-compulsive disorder. Be aware of that, and let your priest know that may be a condition that you have to struggle with.

However, if, as JimG suggests, this is your first confession (or the first after many years) then it sure doesn’t hurt to have a thorough list. But still: relax. Confession is a great gift, and don’t let your concerns over doing it “just so” give you any anxiety. And you don’t need to name names.
 
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clarkal:
You sound like you are scrupulous and need help.

I have obsessive-compulsive disorder, and when I was Catholic, I used to have notebooks full of the sins that I thought I had committed. I hope that this doesn’t happen to you. Seek help. Start with a priest who understands the disease.

Good luck. If you want to talk, feel free to private message me.

clarkal
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I would second this. I too suffer from OCD and lists are useful for certain people but I would suggest that in the psyche of those of a certain disposition they can trigger a descent into neurotic self-examinations, a lack of peace e.t.c. Keep up the practice of confession but do get help
 
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jeffreedy789:
i’d like to say, hermione, that it’s great that you’re taking your first confession so seriously.

i think that, as many have pointed out, it’s very good to be very thorough in examining your heart in a step by step process, which you’ve done, in preparing for your confession.

and as has been pointed out, too - summing it up a bit is probably a good thing, too. you don’t have to list every single lie you’ve told to confess lying - if one stands out in your memory, confess it - otherwise you can sum up.

and i would argue (gently and compassionately) with clarkal - i think he’s projecting his own (admitted) OCD onto your post. and as he says, he’s not catholic anymore - he’s agnostic… my initial confession made a huge list, too, and anyone who looked at my room would tell you i’m definitely NOT OCD. 😉

God bless you in your confession!
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My room is a mess but OCD is not just about cleaning/rituals it can descend into something dreadful. That said I agree with your point, A first confession should be detailed but I remember when I joined the Church I ended up doing about 50 first confessions as I would always remember something which i’d done in my pre-catholic confusion. Do not Keep examining your mind for dirt. You WILL always find something.
 
Be considerate of both the priests time and the folks who may be waiting in line. IF there are 6 or 7 folks in line and every one takes 10 minutes, the poor smuck on the end will be waiting for more than hour ! (that will teach him to be slow getting in line next time 🙂 Some parishes only have confessions for an hour or so each week, that would make it very difficult for the priest to help more than 5 or 6 people.

Make the list for yourself if you wish, then pare it down to what can be reasonably said in 5 minutes tops, even down to one or two minutes would be better.

Maybe you can just list the 3 or 4 items that give you the most problems, and summarize the rest in one or two statements. Maybe you make a statement like “I have many other sins also, but these are the most serious.”

You can make a good confession in a minute and still not be evasive or leave out too much. IF the priest needs more information he will ask you.

Remember when you make your act of contriion, you say I am sorry for these and ALL of the sins of my past life. That pretty much covers any other sins you think you may have committed.

Confession is good for the soul, but it should not be too great a burden for you, for the priest or for folks waiting behind you.

Christ’s Peace, wc
 
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