Abortion/Excommunication Question

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My friend and I were reading the CCC the other day and we found something that is really worrying her. She had an abortion last year and has since had premarital sex and she’s recieved communion without confession but only after prayer and feeling as though God had forgiven her (which took her a long time). After reading that a person who has had premarital sex shouldn’t take communion, she’s been abstaining. She also intends on going to confession as soon as she can and then she plans on returning to communion. After she told me this, I got to thinking. If an abortion causes one to be automatically excommunicated, how should she proceed until confession? She is going to Mass whenever she can (Sunday and when she can daily). What should she do in her situation? It’s really tearing her up emotionally and I feel powerless watching her. She’s been praying a lot and saying the rosary twice a day and we even started a novena together. Is she really excommunicated even though she plans to confess it and truly is sorry?
 
It’s true that you are not supposed to take communion if you are in the state of a grave sin (abortion, premarital sex - heck, missing Mass, etc.). Once you confess and get through your penance, you may take it again. I think of it as not “dirtying up” the Eucharist. Can I ask what is taking her so long to go to confession? Most parishes have a weekly confession time (usually on Saturday), or you can make an appointment at any time. I would urge your friend to go as soon as possible. I’m sure by her talking to her priest, she will understand more of her situation and how to proceed in a state of grace.
 
She said that she felt forgiven by God, so she didn’t think confession was neccessary. Actually, that’s why we were reading the CCC in the first place.
 
Hi,
Well, she desperately needs to get to confession and have a long talk with her confessor (the priest who hears her confession). She can deal with the whole thing and the priest will help her. Remind her that that’s exactly why we call it the sacrament of reconciliation. It IS serious and her soul is in that balance so if I were her I’d get busy and make that appointment to confess before the devil hits her with a bus or something. Point out to her that God still loves her very very much and tell her to see “The Passion of the Christ” if she has any doubt about it…
As her friend tell her that you’ll accompany her to go to confession (Hey it can’t hurt you to go too y’know), and that may make her feel more comfortable and bolster her courage.

Take care,
Pax vobiscum,
 
That movie is actually what started all this. She wasn’t even going to church after the abortion until she saw it. She felt really unworthy and prayed hard and said she could feel God forgive her at the Easter Vigil Mass she went to. At the time, she thought that knowing he’d forgiven her was enough. Now, she knows it isn’t and she just came over to tell me she called the church to make an appointment for tomorrow. God’s working here. She’s come a long way fast. Thank you all for your encouragement on how to help her.
God Bless!

~Kristi
 
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SFAgal03:
That movie is actually what started all this. She wasn’t even going to church after the abortion until she saw it. She felt really unworthy and prayed hard and said she could feel God forgive her at the Easter Vigil Mass she went to. At the time, she thought that knowing he’d forgiven her was enough. Now, she knows it isn’t and she just came over to tell me she called the church to make an appointment for tomorrow. God’s working here. She’s come a long way fast. Thank you all for your encouragement on how to help her.
God Bless!

~Kristi
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I am in the pro-life movement and also a Catholic.You need to make some phone calls for her,because depending on the diosese she may have to go to the Bishop in order to resolve the abortion and excommunication issue.In our diosese the priest can take care of it,in others though it is neccesary to go to the Bishop.So you call for her and find out,don’t mention this UNTIL you find out what the Bishops stand is.God Bless
 
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Lisa4Catholics:
I am in the pro-life movement and also a Catholic.You need to make some phone calls for her,because depending on the diosese she may have to go to the Bishop in order to resolve the abortion and excommunication issue.In our diosese the priest can take care of it,in others though it is neccesary to go to the Bishop.So you call for her and find out,don’t mention this UNTIL you find out what the Bishops stand is.God Bless
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Even if only their bishop can resolve it, the normal procedure would be to go to a priest in the confessional first. That priest would then go to the bishop. This can be done without revealing her identity, even to the priest.
 
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SFAgal03:
My friend and I were reading the CCC the other day and we found something that is really worrying her. She had an abortion last year and has since had premarital sex and she’s recieved communion without confession but only after prayer and feeling as though God had forgiven her (which took her a long time). After reading that a person who has had premarital sex shouldn’t take communion, she’s been abstaining. She also intends on going to confession as soon as she can and then she plans on returning to communion. After she told me this, I got to thinking. If an abortion causes one to be automatically excommunicated, how should she proceed until confession? She is going to Mass whenever she can (Sunday and when she can daily). What should she do in her situation? It’s really tearing her up emotionally and I feel powerless watching her. She’s been praying a lot and saying the rosary twice a day and we even started a novena together. Is she really excommunicated even though she plans to confess it and truly is sorry?
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First, she should not take Holy Communion until she has gone to confession and confessed all her sins, including the abortion. She should then resume frequent reception of the Sacraments to strengthen and heal (assuming she stops her premarital sexual relationship).

Secondly, she needs professional help. Women traumatized by abortion suffer from a form of post-traumatic stress disorder called Post Abortion Syndrome. Please help her to contact Rachel’s Vineyard or Project Rachel for post abortion counseling and retreats. Project Rachel is a diocesan sponsored program, probably not in all dioceses, but the Respect Life office can point you in the right direction. Rachel’s Vineyard is a national program and their website is www.rachelsvineyard.org. Or, contact your local crisis pregnancy center, and they can give you local resources for post abortion healing.

Websites with info to get help for your friend:

www.hopeafterabortion.com
www.rachelsvineyard.org
 
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SFAgal03:
Is she really excommunicated even though she plans to confess it and truly is sorry?
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Maybe. Maybe not. While the penalty is automatic, there are exceptions (one such exception would be if she was under 16 years old when she had the abortion). In any case, the first step is the confessional.

And an excommunicated person can, indeed, attend Mass.

Others have addressed the rest of the questions quite well, so I won’t.
 
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Timidity:
Maybe. Maybe not. While the penalty is automatic, there are exceptions (one such exception would be if she was under 16 years old when she had the abortion). In any case, the first step is the confessional.
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The age exception is actually under 18 years old.
 
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