Abstaining from marital relations

[CuriousInIL]

Does anyone believe in/Has anyone heard of the practice of abstaining from marital relations on Good Friday as a part of the fast? (The thread on not taking a bath on Good Friday reminded me of this practice).

 

[jacobsmumy]

ive never heard of that aye.

 

[apricot_yogurt]

I am sure some people actually do, though it is a personal choice. For me, Good Friday is a day of mourning, somehow, while spending the whole day thinking of The Lord’s Passion and death, it does not seem right for me.

 

[chevalier]

Yeah, it would definitely feel weird.

 

[Michael038]

there is no rule saying one should abstain from the maritial embrace on good friday. that is a personal choice. i never heard of any no bathing rule. dont think that is a mandatory thing either.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Ancient (as in medieval) practices, the no marriage rights and no bathing; NOT binding.

Scripturally, Jesus told us that when we fasted, we should comb our hair and wash our faces, did He not? From a purely aestetic viewpoint, I urge everyone who attends any of the Good Friday services in this locale to please wash. I don’t want to know what you and your spouse do inthe privacy of your marital lives.

 

[CuriousInIL]

Ancient (as in medieval) practices, the no marriage rights and no bathing; NOT binding.

Where did the ancient/medieval practice come form? I had not heard of them? Do you have any references or information?

 

[Dan_Grelinger]

There are other things we don’t do on Good Friday. No Masses are said. “To every thing, there is a season.” In many things we are allowed to make responsible choices. For spouses interested in doing the best for this day, since Good Friday is the most solemn day of mourning, not celebration, taking time to celebrate their marriage may not be the best use of the day (or evening). Of course, not because it is an inherently wrong act. It is inherently beautiful, as is the Mass. Just perhaps not the best use of the time we have for the day.

 

[CuriousInIL]

There are other things we don’t do on Good Friday. No Masses are said. “To every thing, there is a season.” In many things we are allowed to make responsible choices. For spouses interested in doing the best for this day, since Good Friday is the most solemn day of mourning, not celebration, taking time to celebrate their marriage may not be the best use of the day (or evening). Of course, not because it is an inherently wrong act. It is inherently beautiful, as is the Mass. Just perhaps not the best use of the time we have for the day.

Do you, or anyone else that wants to comment, believe that it is a more or less appropriate “use of the time” than, for example, watching secular TV shows?

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Where did the ancient/medieval practice come form? I had not heard of them? Do you have any references or information?

I will get them for you- after Easter. I am on my way out until Monday. But there used to be a medieval practice of limiting marital relations to certain days of the week. One of the big taboos was Good Friday. If you cna’t wait, you’re a smart person. I’ve seen your posts. Google up “middle ages sexual practices Catholic abstain” and see what you get for starters.

 

[ThuribleGuy45]

Where did the ancient/medieval practice come form? I had not heard of them? Do you have any references or information?

Have read several references to mediaeval prohibitions on a wide range of days: no relations during Lent or Advent; none on Fridays in honor of the Passion; not on Tuesdays in honor of Mary; “never on Sundays,” of course, plus abstaining on various saints’ days. Haven’t ever researched the scope or veracity of these stories, but have seen enough general references that there seem to have been at least localized European prohibitions like these. Don’t believe that these were ever official Church norms, however. Agree with the Google suggestion in an earlier post.

 

[chevalier]

Sundays and Tuesdays are one thing, but on penitential days it does make sense. Especially on Good Friday. The same attitude that says it’s unreasonable to give up such pleasures on Good Friday might as well be saying that it talks about meat but it doesn’t talk about cream cookies.

For one, I cannot imagine myself getting ecstatic and orgasmic on Good Friday. Sorry, it just doesn’t work. There’s no prohibition, but it simply doesn’t work. If it’s reasonable to abstain from meat, from sweets and candies, from alcohol, from other pleasures, it is certainly reasonable to abstain from sexual pleasures and there’s no reason to make them private only and a taboo. The private matter attitude is what made Protestant churches give up on the Biblical injunctions against premarital sex. There’s also the problem of the consistency of sexual ecstasy with the penitential nature of Good Friday - and that’s the most penitential day of the year. There’s even no mass.

Moreover, if we can be expected to abstain from food or drink or alcohol or whatever, but can’t be expected to abstain from sexual relations, it paints quite a pretty picture of our species, doesn’t it?

 

[Dan_Grelinger]

Do you, or anyone else that wants to comment, believe that it is a more or less appropriate “use of the time” than, for example, watching secular TV shows?

Yes, I will comment. Grace-filled marital relations would be a much much more appropriate activity on Good Friday than watching secular TV shows. Watching most of today’s prime-time secular TV shows is sinful. A grace filled activity is always preferred over a sinful activity any day of the year, but especially on Good Friday. Even if the secular TV show was not sinful (say a baseball game), I would suggest that a grace giving activity would be better than one that gives no grace.

Dan

 

[Dan_Grelinger]

Moreover, if we can be expected to abstain from food or drink or alcohol or whatever, but can’t be expected to abstain from sexual relations, it paints quite a pretty picture of our species, doesn’t it?

Most of what you say is right on. However, this last bit is a poor analogy. Marital relations are grace-filled. We receive grace from God during a proper and holy act. I don’t believe that the same can be said of eating and drinking. Eating and drinking are not inherently sinful when done reasonably, but they are likely not grace-giving activities. We should not put emphasis on giving up grace-filled activity on Good Friday, unless such activities interfere with more appropriate grace filled actions for the day (Meditation, Stations of the Cross, Rosary, Veneration of the Cross).

Dan

 

[chevalier]

Possible, but would a couple choose to have marital relations on Good Friday for the graces? For grace alone, not for carnal satisfaction or enjoyment or excitement or because the need’s pressing, but just to celebrate the union and procreate? That would be an unusual choice of day. So long as we are right in talking about carnal pleasures, I believe we’re right in raising the caveat about pleasures on a penitential day (the expression, “to have sex,” covers it pretty well, I believe, if it’s applicable to the attitude entertained by the couple). I can’t really see how it can be right to get ecstatic on Good Friday.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Could it be more comforting than ecstatic?

And yes, access works, but I am just checking in. Google. I am not doing other people’s homework today.

 

[chevalier]

Could it be more comforting than ecstatic?

Yes, it could. But you can’t have sexual intercourse without sexual arousal if you’re male. It might be different from a female point of view, but a man would have to be aroused, which is caused by sexual excitement. I don’t think that kind of sensation is proper on Good Friday.

 

[Dan_Grelinger]

I don’t think that kind of sensation is proper on Good Friday.

If you can elaborate, I’d be interested in know why you do not think it proper. Almost all of us indulge in several carnal pleasures on Good Friday, with the support of the Catholic Church. We tend to reasonably limit them, but carnal pleasures do not have to be eliminated for the day.

I slept for about 8 hours that day. My body (carnal) found that very satisfying.

I ‘fasted’ the required amount. I ate three times. Even though two of the meals were very small (one item), those two meals and the full meal of the day were quite carnally satisfying.

Ignoring the risk of sounding vulgar, I also used the restroom facilities several times that day. Each time provided the expected carnal satisfaction.

I personally did not exercise that day, but I am sure that many obedient Catholics did, and that they found it carnally satsifying.

I tried to do these items in proper amounts considering the day that it was, however, these activities probably provided me with minimal grace from God. Why single out a carnal pleasure that actually is a very powerful grace provider for total exclusion on Good Friday? The marital act was consistently compared by Pope John Paul II to Christ’s sacrifice on the Cross. The Catholic Church powerfully teaches that the model for marriage is Christ’s complete submission to the Church on the Cross. It seems to be a bit absurd to then suggest that marital relations should be avoided on this day when theologically it seems very appropriate.

This seems to ring of the “sex is inherently evil” philosophy.

Dan

 

[Timidity]

This is another one of those threads that gets posted every year. :yawn:

 

[chevalier]

I slept for about 8 hours that day. My body (carnal) found that very satisfying.

Sleep is not a pleasure in the same sense as sexual intercourse, and does not involve stimulation, arousal, anything like that, which you well know.

I ‘fasted’ the required amount. I ate three times. Even though two of the meals were very small (one item), those two meals and the full meal of the day were quite carnally satisfying.

And between eating and sex, there’s no such analogy, which you obviously also know.

Ignoring the risk of sounding vulgar, I also used the restroom facilities several times that day. Each time provided the expected carnal satisfaction.

Defecation, apart from relief itself, is supposed to stop being a source of pleasure at an early age. By drawing an analogy between entirely optional sexual intercourse and something like relieving waste - which you can suffer severe complications if you don’t do, you are insulting the intelligence of your readers.

I personally did not exercise that day, but I am sure that many obedient Catholics did, and that they found it carnally satsifying.

I’ve got used to your misuse of the adjective “carnal” at this point.

I tried to do these items in proper amounts considering the day that it was, however, these activities probably provided me with minimal grace from God.

Some of those functions and “grace from God” don’t go in the same sentence, which you should know. It is entirely unbecoming in case of one of those. Look up which one.

Why single out a carnal pleasure that actually is a very powerful grace provider for total exclusion on Good Friday?

By that logic of yours and the wide quality of your grace arguments, you could even argue against the abstinence from meat. The form’s so broad you can put any content you desire into it and pretend everything’s okay.

The marital act was consistently compared by Pope John Paul II to Christ’s sacrifice on the Cross. The Catholic Church powerfully teaches that the model for marriage is Christ’s complete submission to the Church on the Cross.

The Epistle of St. Paul to Reverse-Ephesians?

It seems to be a bit absurd to then suggest that marital relations should be avoided on this day when theologically it seems very appropriate.

That’s some scary theology, celebrating Good Friday with an orgasm.

This seems to ring of the “sex is inherently evil” philosophy.

You are absolutely right: seems. It seems so because that’s an easy argument because it allows you to disengage your current adversary and hit an easier stereotype instead.

At the end of replying, I’m questioning myself on why I actually started.