Abusive Father

[white_sheep]

But is he right? Is she worthless, rotten, and evil?

 

[Musician]

Haha not at all. She’s a sincere loving homeschooling mom.

 

[EasterJoy]

My father is pretty abusive to most people, including my stepmother…My (Catholic) therapist told me that my grown children certainly have the right to withhold contact because of their small children. He advised to me to maintain contact as much as possible. I just don’t want to, that’s all.

If you don’t want to because of his choices and not something that is out of his control, then don’t. When someone gives you a reason to avoid them, you do not have to stick around for abuse. To keep giving him near occasions of sin by absorbing his abuse with no social consequence is not necessarily doing his soul any favors.

If his bad behavior is a mental illness talking, then there is an argument for looking past it. If he amends and wants to reconcile, by all means open the door. If he feels free to abuse you or to subject you to witnessing his abuse of others, however, explain why you are leaving and then leave. Explain what is necessary to reconnect, and stick with that. If he does not want your society enough to curb his vitriol even for the length of your visits, then let him have the life he has chosen. (You may want to arrange to take his poor wife out to lunch once in awhile, so she can debrief with someone to whom she can freely admit her situation, if she is so inclined, but the advisability of that depends on the situation.)