Accepting a possible call to the priesthood!

[Seeker_Of_Truth]

Hello, dear brothers and sisters in Christ!

OK, so one of the most exciting things has happened to me last Sunday: I’ve accepted what could be a call to the priesthood! Now, as my spiritual director is telling me, I’m trying to slow down a bit and not jump to any conclusions. I have not even gotten to the specifics of it, and I will be taking this year to discern seriously if this is it (I can’t even apply anyway, as the deadline has just passed). However, ever since I opened up to God completely on Sunday to the possibility of it, I have never been as joyful, peaceful, and full of life! These last four days have been the most exciting days of my life, and I have been able to experience abundantly that God loves us and that He is there helping us, always. There have been so many signs, that it is simply impossible for me to say, “nah, there couldn’t possibly be anything.”

Again, this is not a sure thing. Discernment is both internal and external, and I am not even in a seminary yet, but that is the way things look to be shaping up. It’s crazy though. Three years ago, when I first thought there MIGHT be something, I cried - I cried because I was full of fear, confusion, and resentment. How could God suggest such a thing! Couldn’t He see all the sacrifices that it would take? And how it could hurt many of my loved ones? But now, I would be sad if I DIDN’T have a calling. But, hey, God’s will, not mine, be done.

Please keep me in your prayers. My parents at first were extremely confused, hurt, and devastated. In fact, today it seemed like it was going to be one of those cases were parents turn against sons, but through prayer and open communication, we have reached a great place, and I have never felt more close to and honest with my parents. But I quickly realized that anyone who is willing to discern the priesthood must be ready for that possibility, however far fetched it may seem.

God strengthens us amidst our afflictions. The things I have been able to do this week, the challenges I have been able to confront… it just takes my breath away. But here is the thing: not through my own strength, but His. I can’t take a single bit of credit for this, for I know that He was the one giving me the strenght, and not myself. Thanks be to God!

There are many challenges though that I will have to overcome if I do have a calling. As you all know, I am addicted to pornograpy and masturbation, an addiction that has conquered me many, many times, especially at times when I thought it was a thing of the past (what a bad lie to tell to myself! I must remember to always take things one day at a time, no matter how long my sobriety period is.). Please pray that I may overcome this through God’s grace. Through Him all is possible!

I want to encourage any of you who are considering the priesthood or the religious life to do it openly and without fear. It is extremely at scary at first, but we must the words of Jesus, “do not be afraid.” There is much that is required, much sacrifice that is involved, but we must remember that God cannot be outdone in his mercy. If it is your calling, you WILL be happy! After all, a calling is what you were CREATED to be! But do have patience. I would like for this to happen today, but I’ve had to learn that God likes to take His take, sometimes taking thousands of years to make his point across.

Thanks, brothers and sisters, for letting me share!

In Christ,

Seeker

 

[BarbaraTherese]

Thank you very much for sharing your story, Seeker…rest assured I will be keeping you in prayer…Barb

 

[Seeker_Of_Truth]

Thank you everyone for your response and for your encouragement! I will need all the prayer I can get!

I know that one of the first things I have to do is to seriously address my addiction, as it is something I have to recover from if I ever am to enter the seminary. Yet I know that if this is God’s will, that I will be able to do anything that is needed through his grace.Although I have been a member of SA for nine months now, something had been alluding me until now. I have been able to remain sober for a two months before bursting and going back to my old habits. Something was obviously missing, and I believe that one thing was honesty, one of the essential keys that is needed to recover.

Today at Mass we read about the old wineskin bursting because new wine had been put into it. The priest explained that we must be like new wineskin and be elastic in order to live out the Gospel. And it hit me while he was saying this that maybe in my case the reason why I wasn’t stretching was because I was being dishonest, dishonest with myself, with others, and with God. As a result, even though I could remain sober for a while, I would eventually burst since I could not stretch to a new way of life.

But what was I being dishonest about?

I believe I was being dishonest about my reality, which included the *possibility * of a calling to the priesthood. Deep down inside, I knew that once I reached Step Three, I would have to do what I did this week, which has been the hardest yet at the same time easiest thing I have ever done. Hardest because I was dreading the consequences. Easiest because even during the most difficult times I had this reservoir of peace that never left me, a peace that could have only come from God. But because I was dreading it, I never got past Step One, which I never really completed entirely. And so I was living in fear, fear of what I knew was coming, fear of losing what I held to be dear. And so I would lie to myself, to my girlfriend, to God, and pretend that nothing was there, that it couldn’t be the case. But now that I have opened myself completely (at least I think so!) to God’s will, I have felt a peace, a joy, a sense of freedom, that I have never experienced before. The promises that can be found in AA (Into Action chapter, I believe) have materialized abundantly, and I have never felt more alive. Thanks be to God!

Another aspect of recovery is uncovering our resentment. Now this was really hard for me, for I didn’t think I was resentful towards anybody. But I have come to see that I was (and may still be). I was resentful towards my brother, whom I love and have forgiven, but who had introduced me to porn and masturbation. I was resentful towards life (my parents?) for having taken me away from my home country and brought to a completely different one. And I was resentful towards God, for it seemed that He was making us suffer for no good reason, just for his amusement (this is how I felt years ago). And yesterday night it hit me like a brick that all this time I have been resentful towards God for also suggesting me to consider the priesthood! “But my family!” I thought. “Won’t I be able to have the wife, the children, and the business I always wanted? This is my right! You can’t take that away from me!” And so my prayer went the first time I thought something might be there, three years ago. Now, however, I have seen that God cannot be outdone in His mercy, and that I will be far happier as a priest* if it is my calling* than I could possibly be otherwise. Maybe now I can finally let go of all these resentments. I even feel a sense of peace and joy as I try to let go of it right now.

I know there is much ahead of me, and if I am to get anywhere, I must be brutally honest with myself. I cannot do this alone, however, and ask that all of you may pray for me, that I may do all that my directors asks of me, and that I may be as honest with myself as I can possibly be.

In Christ,

Seeker

 

[bilop]

Seeker,

May God Bless your vocation abundantly!

I will pray for you.

May I ask what diocese/order are you applying to? Or don’t you know yet?

 

[Seeker_Of_Truth]

I am not sure, as I have not talked to my director about that yet. I probably will talk to him today about that, as one of the dioceses I’m looking into requires that the seminarians live in that area a year before applying. If in a year the next step is indeed to enter the seminary, I need to start preparing myself now and start thinking ahead…

A quick question about that though: can one just choose whatever diocese one wants, or are there other requirements?

Thanks in advance!

 

[bilop]

I am not sure, as I have not talked to my director about that yet. I probably will talk to him today about that, as one of the dioceses I’m looking into requires that the seminarians live in that area a year before applying. If in a year the next step is indeed to enter the seminary, I need to start preparing myself now and start thinking ahead…

A quick question about that though: can one just choose whatever diocese one wants, or are there other requirements?

Thanks in advance!

Basically, yes, you can apply to any diocese you want.

You probably should try your home diocese first, but if there is serious reason to prefer another diocese (i.e. lack of orthodoxy) you are free to apply to another diocese.

I know the New York Archdiocese has received several vocations from upstate NY, b/c some of the dioceses up there are quite heterodox, and the men came south to avoid that.

If you don’t mind me asking, where do you live, and what is the other diocese?

God Bless

 

[SenorSalsa]

Basically, yes, you can apply to any diocese you want.

You probably should try your home diocese first, but if there is serious reason to prefer another diocese (i.e. lack of orthodoxy) you are free to apply to another diocese.

I know the New York Archdiocese has received several vocations from upstate NY, b/c some of the dioceses up there are quite heterodox, and the men came south to avoid that.

If you don’t mind me asking, where do you live, and what is the other diocese?

God Bless

I have always disliked that reason for picking another diocese. All dioceses should work at becoming orthodox, and that isn’t going to happen if all the orthodox priests go to the already good dioceses. Stay in the heterodox diocese and fight for an improvement.

A more valid reason is if you for some reason have a connection to another diocese than your home, for instance people who go away to college might associate with the diocese their college is in, or a person might go to a diocese where he has family, etc.

 

[Kazimer]

Hello Seeker ~

Congratulations !

I just read your post regarding your possible call to the priesthood.

I believe you seemingly have at least the initial signs of a vocation - joy and peace in considering the priesthood.

I also read about your concurrent battle with pornography and masturbation.

Since the seminary application is a year away, use this time period to strengthen your resolve to do battle with the devil as he will most assuredly use any means at his disposal to get you off the track of a vocation.

And, since he knows your weakness, he will use it ever the more to tempt you into sin, to break you , to discourage you, to make you feel shame and unworthiness to become a priest.

However, there is no need to be afraid as you also know your weakness and predisposition to these things.

In this regard, work closely with a spiritual advisor and/or priest that you trust to develop an offense and defense that will help you in those times you will struggle.

Make no mistake, just because you have decided to become a priest does not mean the struggle will be any less than what you have experienced.

In fact the struggle will intensify.

Do not seek the fight, yet be prepared for it.

Note, struggle is a very good thing as you will be tested in the fire and will come out all the more strengthened regardless of the outcome of your discernment of the priesthood.

I encourage you to develop a devotion to The Divine Mercy as the words " Jesus I trust in You" prayed anytime - and especially in times of great tests/temptations - will be a source of comfort and fortitude for you.

 

[bilop]

I have always disliked that reason for picking another diocese. All dioceses should work at becoming orthodox, and that isn’t going to happen if all the orthodox priests go to the already good dioceses. Stay in the heterodox diocese and fight for an improvement.

A more valid reason is if you for some reason have a connection to another diocese than your home, for instance people who go away to college might associate with the diocese their college is in, or a person might go to a diocese where he has family, etc.

Well, from what I’ve heard and read, some dioceses won’t even accept orthodox seminarians, never mind traditional ones, or will weed them out. In some places if a man doesn’t support ordaining women or condone homosexual behavior, he will not get far in the discernment process. The was one fairly well reported case of a man ordained in Bridgeport, CT, who had been kicked out of seminary in Kentucky (I believe), basically for being orthodox.

Even in some orthodox dioceses, men have had to hide a preference for the old Mass or communion on the tongue.

Remember, if the man is never ordained, he can’t make a difference. Also, the lack of vocations can single Rome on how a Bishop runs his diocese.

God Bless

 

[Seeker_Of_Truth]

Hello Seeker ~

Congratulations !

I just read your post regarding your possible call to the priesthood.

I believe you seemingly have at least the initial signs of a vocation - joy and peace in considering the priesthood.

I also read about your concurrent battle with pornography and masturbation.

Since the seminary application is a year away, use this time period to strengthen your resolve to do battle with the devil as he will most assuredly use any means at his disposal to get you off the track of a vocation.

And, since he knows your weakness, he will use it ever the more to tempt you into sin, to break you , to discourage you, to make you feel shame and unworthiness to become a priest.

However, there is no need to be afraid as you also know your weakness and predisposition to these things.

In this regard, work closely with a spiritual advisor and/or priest that you trust to develop an offense and defense that will help you in those times you will struggle.

Make no mistake, just because you have decided to become a priest does not mean the struggle will be any less than what you have experienced.

In fact the struggle will intensify.

Do not seek the fight, yet be prepared for it.

Note, struggle is a very good thing as you will be tested in the fire and will come out all the more strengthened regardless of the outcome of your discernment of the priesthood.

I encourage you to develop a devotion to The Divine Mercy as the words " Jesus I trust in You" prayed anytime - and especially in times of great tests/temptations - will be a source of comfort and fortitude for you.

Kazimer,

Thank you for your encouraging and wise words. I am very glad that I have this year before I can even apply to the seminary. It will be a time, like you said, where I will be able to work on weaknesses that I must address before entering. It will also be a time of test - will the zeal, the peace and joy, still be there by then? Or will it have faded away and turned into something else? That remains to be seen, but, as of right now, I am thrilled that I am completely open to the possibility, that it IS a possibility, and that I have a good spiritual director guiding me. It’s all in God’s hands at the end of the day.

 

[Seeker_Of_Truth]

Bilop,

Thank you for your replies. For now, I would like to keep those details private. Maybe into the future I’ll feel more comfortable revealing them.

 

[bilop]

Bilop,

Thank you for your replies. For now, I would like to keep those details private. Maybe into the future I’ll feel more comfortable revealing them.

No problem. If I can ever be of assistance, please feel free to PM me.

I know quite a number of priests, so could likely access any informantion you need. And if I could recruit you for NY, they’d just love me! (just kidding, mostly )

May God Bless your vocation abundantly!

 

[Seeker_Of_Truth]

Thanks!