Accepting Reduced Culpability: Anyone else dealing with this?

[MakingMemories]

Without getting into too much detail, I have been confessing a sinful behavior for quite a while now and the answer I keep getting back from the priest is that in my situation I need not worry about it too much or that I am putting too much pressure on myself. I sometimes feel I am more culpable than what my confessor tells me. I thought that perhaps my confessor is wrong so I have gone to other confessors and have found that most of them (all but one actually) agree with the original diagnosis. The consensus of the confessors I have told regarding my sinful behavior have reduced the culpability in my case to a minimum.

It seems that in my case I have control issues where I want to be the one who fixes my behavior but lately I’ve been thinking that it really is time for me to let it go and allow my reduced culpability be exactly that: reduced.

I’m trying to learn to accept the diagnosis of my confessors and it has been difficult for me to do this. I admit I did not imagine myself being guided in this way and for a while it has been confusing. Accepting God’s Mercy has never been so challenging.

I understand that we must always strive to avoid sinful behavior as much as possible, and to strive for the good.

Anyone else out there trying to deal with reduced culpability? I never imagined this would be my cross, but nonetheless, it is mine. I’m hopeful I’m not the only one with this type of challenge.

Thanks.

 

[Newbie2]

You’re not alone, Bro.

When sin becomes habit, ingrained in our behavior, it becomes less of a choice for us. While that doesn’t get us off the hook, it ***can ***lessen our culpability, depending of course on the particular circumstances.

I’ve got a couple of sins that have become habit for me; the paradox is that the more I struggle to overcome them, the more I become aware of them and the less “culpability of habit” I have.

It’s not easy, is it? Of course, Jesus never said it would be.

 

[Ted_in_Charlott]

I have dealt at different times in my life with shades of madness, depression and at one point I would possibly be diagnosed as ASD or sociopath. My childhood was troubled. I had what you would say was a reduced culpability.

Over the last few years I have gotten away from some pretty bad relationships and gotten into some healthy loving ones, gotten some medication and improved my diet. I exercise regularly and generally am a lot better.

My take on conscience and culpabilty is: God will hold you accountable, but sometimes we hold ourselves even more accountable.

One of the truly beautiful sacraments is Penance. God gave us priests that not only help show us the right way but also verbalize God’s love specifically to the penitent. God’s priests can also show us we are indeed too hard on ourselves, or sometimes not hard enough.

Sin is a big deal to God: He sent His Son to die for our sin, so we can live for Him. So when we leave the confessional, we can leave clean and fresh and forgiven, no guilt, and direction for a new beginning. Sin is too big for us to handle, God knows we need forgiveness more than punishment.

So summarizing, yeah we may have reduced culpabilty, but we still need forgiveness. So even if your sin is just 1/1000th of a sin it still needs the sacraments to wash it away and help heal the hurt.

God bless you in your struggles, I understand.

 

[BlaineTog]

Keep trying. It’s more important to try than to succeed since the latter necessitates the former.

 

[MakingMemories]

"Newbie2:

…the paradox is that the more I struggle to overcome them, the more I become aware of them and the less “culpability of habit” I have.

I can relate to this. One of my confessors kind of laid into me after one confession when I admitted I was still trying to figure it all out. As I was continuing to search for answers (against my confessors council), my condition worsened. The same priest who compassionately reduced my culpability, grew a bit angry when I was refusing to let go. It was what I needed to hear. The lesson learned was that I needed to learn obedience and listen to God’s voice objectively instead of continually to subjectively treat my own symptoms.

One of the truly beautiful sacraments is Penance. God gave us priests that not only help show us the right way but also verbalize God’s love specifically to the penitent. God’s priests can also show us we are indeed too hard on ourselves, or sometimes not hard enough.

I’m learning to pray for our priests to give good pastoral care as I enter the confessional. I’m learning to trust in the power of this Sacrament. It is a wonderful Sacrament and I praise God for it.
Ted in Charlott:

God bless you in your struggles, I understand.

Thank you. I’m glad I’m not alone in this. Intellectually I understand this, but emotionally, the feelings of lonliness get overwhelming at times.

BlaineTog:

Keep trying. It’s more important to try than to succeed since the latter necessitates the former.

I appreciate your comment. I’ll keep running the race until I cross the finish line. Never give up hope. I have yet to give up hope. I pray that I am graced to persevere.

 

[ForwardProgress]

I am in the same boat. Once I accepted my priest’s advice, that I wasn’t giving my full consent, I have slipped one time. Trusting my good priest’s advice, I didn’t beat my self up about it, because I tried so hard to resist. Now, I find that my temptations to do this sin have lessened tremendously! I think by not spending all my energy fighting it, that I have allowed Grace to fill in where my will was weak, and that nagging temptation is no longer there. Trust your priest. Most good living Catholics don’t give full consent to a lot of things that we thing are ‘mortal sins’.

 

[rwoehmke]

It is one of Satan’s favorite strategies. Get the sinner so wrapped up in thinking and worrying about his sin that it is constantly on his mind and tempting him. It works especially well with any habitual sin. It is like being on a diet and constantly thinking about food.

 

[Strategery]

Without getting into too much detail, I have been confessing a sinful behavior for quite a while now and the answer I keep getting back from the priest is that in my situation I need not worry about it too much or that I am putting too much pressure on myself. I sometimes feel I am more culpable than what my confessor tells me. I thought that perhaps my confessor is wrong so I have gone to other confessors and have found that most of them (all but one actually) agree with the original diagnosis. The consensus of the confessors I have told regarding my sinful behavior have reduced the culpability in my case to a minimum.

It seems that in my case I have control issues where I want to be the one who fixes my behavior but lately I’ve been thinking that it really is time for me to let it go and allow my reduced culpability be exactly that: reduced.

I’ve struggled with this as well. For me the answer was that I needed to ACCEPT God’s loving forgiveness.

Continuing to dwell on a sin, even after you have confessed and been absolved, is a flaming arrow from Satan. He is the father of lies. He doesn’t want you to believe that you can be forgiven. He wants you to think that you need to fix it yourself, or spend more time in agony, or some other twist that amounts to the same lie – that you don’t deserve God’s forgiveness.

Grace is a gift, but we need to accept it.

Cheers and best of luck to you. I know exactly this issue, and have refused to accept forgiveness more times than I care to admit.

 

[MakingMemories]

ForwardProgress:

Trust your priest. Most good living Catholics don’t give full consent to a lot of things that we thing are ‘mortal sins’.

I have often thought about this aspect. My confessor has even told me that I have the opposite problem of most people. Generally, people aren’t hard enough on themselves and rationalize their sinful behavior. I’ve been counciled to find balance - not in chosing sin, but in how I react to sinful behavior.
rwoemke:

It is one of Satan’s favorite strategies. Get the sinner so wrapped up in thinking and worrying about his sin that it is constantly on his mind and tempting him…

This I can relate to. I would get irritated with myself for getting consumed with it thus furthering my spiral. I’m learning to adapt - one day at a time thanks to my encounters with God in the confessional. It’s no wonder satan hates the Sacraments. God help those without them.

Strategery:

Grace is a gift, but we need to accept it.

Amen!

 

[AndyF]

Making:

Relax!!!

Say your penance and be glad your in a state of salvation. :thumbsup:The testing your driven to is a temptation, a jealousy that a man can be absolved and the demon can’t.

It also taxes the priests who are busy, unknowing to them, spend time with you to rehash your case.

Andy