Accused Priests

[cshoremom]

So very disheartened. I am aware that many priests have been accused of sexual abuse or pedophilia . Just yesterday, I heard that the priest that married my parents 69 years ago, and my husband and I , 31 years ago is accused of abuse. He has been dead for 15 or 16 years . The accusations came out ( and were proven) after he passed away.
Hits close to home. So sad and feel betrayed. We looked up to this man. I am sure I am not the only one who knows a priest who was accused or convicted.
Kind of conflicted. Of course I pray for them and the sins they have committed and especially for their victims. What else should I be doing??

 

[powerandglory]

Forgiving. I was a victim of a bad priest and it shattered my faith. It took 12 years but I was finally able to forgive him and ask God to forgive him, and honestly it’s been the most freeing thing I could have done. I was finally able do start praying again, and to ask God to forgive me, and bring me back. So forgive. Aside from praying it’s the humblest thing we can do.

 

[cshoremom]

You are right. Forgiveness is so loving and powerful. And healing. I am so sorry you were a victim. So sorry.

 

[CilladeRoma]

The accusations came out ( and were proven) after he passed away.

How is this? I never understood how allegations could be “proven” against someone who is long dead, unless there is DNA evidence.

That said, all we can do is continue to pray.

 

[OmnesBonum]

First we must realize that the society and government is on a blatant mission in the last few years to try to discredit and destroy the church and freedom, and this is one of their most successful ways.

Also, the scripture says: "Against a priest receive not accusation: but under two or three witnesses. Them that sin, reprove before all: that the rest also may have fear. 1 Timothy 5:19. It’s very interesting that it only was mentioned many years after they were not able to defend themselves.

Also, we should pray and sacrifice for the departed, especially clerics, that they may be absolved for any sins they may have committed, and to forgive them, so that we can be forgiven of our sins and abuses.

Then his lord called him: and he said unto him, Thou ungracious servant, I forgave thee all the debt because thou besoughtest me: oughtest not thou therefore also to have mercy upon thy fellow-servant, even as I had mercy upon thee? And his lord being angry delivered him to the tormenters, until he repaid all the debt. So also shall my heavenly father do to you, if you forgive not every one his brother from your hearts. St. Matthew 18:32-34.

 

[JulianN]

First we must realize that the society and government is on a blatant mission in the last few years to try to discredit and destroy the church and freedom, and this is one of their most successful ways.

Let us not forget the clergy responsible. This isn’t an attack on innocents.

 

[cshoremom]

This is how I am feeling. 99.9% of all the clergy past and present, are good and would never commit such crimes/sins. I think I am just shocked that a priest we all , as a family, looked to for guidance and prayer was one of the accused. They will answer to Him .

 

[Beryllos]

They will answer to Him.

God is just and God is merciful. Leave the judging to Him.

It sounds like you and your family were not abused by this priest, so it should not be difficult for you to look kindly on him, forgive him, and pray for him with peace in your heart. Peace.

 

[thistle]

So very disheartened. I am aware that many priests have been accused of sexual abuse or pedophilia . Just yesterday, I heard that the priest that married my parents 69 years ago, and my husband and I , 31 years ago is accused of abuse. He has been dead for 15 or 16 years . The accusations came out ( and were proven) after he passed away.
Hits close to home. So sad and feel betrayed. We looked up to this man. I am sure I am not the only one who knows a priest who was accused or convicted.
Kind of conflicted. Of course I pray for them and the sins they have committed and especially for their victims. What else should I be doing??

Being accused and being guilty are not the same thing. Also it is easy to accuse someone who is dead and cannot respond to the accusation.

 

[otjm]

I am not sure what you mean by the accusations were proven. If the priest was already dead, any accuser would have to bring a case against the responsible diocese and prove their allegations were more likely than not.

It might be possible that the allegations were made somewhere near the time of the alleged actions and that the diocese had physical evidence (i.e. records) of the allegations.

If there were no records or other evidence put forward from near the time of the alleged actions, it is more difficult for the claimant to prove their case.

Not impossible, but certainly more difficult.

It is entirely possible that the diocese has had enough claims and the claimant gave enough details that the diocese chose to settle the case (thus people could claim the case was “proved”); however, what would actually happen in that circumstance is that the diocese would settle the claim without admitting liability. That could occur because the diocese had already had enough cases that its insurance would no longer cove damages; and in that circumstance the diocese may not have sufficient funds to be able to defend a long, costly lawsuit.

Not knowing exactly what happened, there are any possible number of scenarios in which a diocese would choose to settle rather than try the case.

Other possibilities are that the claimants had enough information (time, place, nature of the occurrence, etc,) that without information from the alleged abuser, the risk of trying the case was too high; or that the case during discovery noted enough weakness in the claimants’ testimony that it offered to settle to avoid risk of trial, even though the diocese may not have considered the case that solid.

I have seen worse cases in terms of actual evidence get settled for a combination of the above.

Did he or didn’t he abuse? It is entirely possible we will never know. I understand your shock and concern. The best I can say is to let go, and let God.

St. Paul tells us we are all sinners. We hold priests up to a very high standard, and some do not meet that; and some don’t even come close. The Church. in spite of the gravity of the sin, still offers reconciliation" it is the State which offers the pound of flesh.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

How is this? I never understood how allegations could be “proven” against someone who is long dead, unless there is DNA evidence.

That said, all we can do is continue to pray.

You are right Cilla. The ability for a person to be present, defend themselves, and speak in their own defense if they wish to do so, is fundamental to the US justice system. Therefore, it is not possible to “prove” anything against a person when the charges aren’t brought till they died. Even if you had DNA like a bodily fluid sample (very unlikely in a case like this), that wouldn’t be “proof”, just strong evidence.

The most you can have against a person who died before allegations were even brought is a “credible allegation” of abuse. This to me still leaves a lot of room for doubt. Depending on the circumstances I might have more or less doubt. I would tend to have less doubt in a case where there were rumors about bad behavior over the long term including when the priest was alive, and/or where there were a number of alleged victims all accusing the same priest. I would have more doubt where the priest had a good reputation and a stable position when alive (like a longtime pastor somewhere) and only one or two people made allegations after he was already dead.

In any event, we will never know for sure, so I would recommend that you

1. recognize that this allegation might be incorrect, unfounded, or otherwise untrue - it is not “proven” if the man was already dead when it was made (regardless of whether that’s an unpopular view as people tend to always believe alleged victims and rush to judgment);
2. remember that even if the allegation was true, the priest also did many good things throughout his life and career, and people are not all good or all bad and we are all sinners;
3. pray for the priest and the alleged victim.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

It is entirely possible that the diocese has had enough claims and the claimant gave enough details that the diocese chose to settle the case (thus people could claim the case was “proved”);

There are a huge amount of reasons why an entity might choose to make a legal settlement or might even freely choose to give funds to an alleged victim when it has no legal duty to do so.

Settlements, legally, can never be read to imply guilt or liability, for that reason. If settlements meant “guilty” or “liable”, then it would destroy the motivation to settle and result in our US courts being overburdened to the point of being unable to function, since unlike European countries the US has very little means for redress through the state outside the legal system.

Of course, this principle doesn’t stop the media from reading all kinds of implications into the fact that a settlement was made. The media are usually somewhere between wrong and dead wrong on their coverage of any legal matter, and it’s frustrating, but one learns to ignore it, or in the case of some crafty lawyers, to exploit it.

 

[KevinK]

First we must realize that the society and government is on a blatant mission in the last few years to try to discredit and destroy the church and freedom,

What a broad sweeping assertion. What is your evidence for this?

 

[OnAJourney]

First we must realize that the society and government is on a blatant mission in the last few years to try to discredit and destroy the church and freedom, and this is one of their most successful ways.

I don’t think anyone is in a position to make such a grand assertion without some form of evidence. And it must be said that even to this day the Church has not done enough to address priests that abuse children. The Church does still shuffle priests from parish to parish. There has been progress made in that area, but the Church as an institution still has much to do to make it clear that abusive clergy cannot and should not be tolerated or swept under the rug.

 

[Cirdan_XII]

I know of the opposite.

There was a priest who I knew well when I was young. He was a very devout and holy person and an example and inspiration to all who knew him. He lived a simple and modest life and didn’t care much for luxuries. I’m pretty sure he would never have done anything improper to anybody.

Furthermore, the alleged victims are not people who were regulars at that parish. i would have known and would recognize names, especially of people of my own age group. Maybe these weere people who were there once or twice or were on the parish register but didn’t come to Mass regularly. It doesn’t make sense that nothing every happened to those of us who wee always there (I was an altar server, so there would have been plenty of opportunity) but he managed to do terrible things to people who were rarely there. people who maybe did their first communion or something, but were otherwise never seen. That doesn’t make sense to me.

I hope the investigations will prove his innocence and clear his name.

 

[Hodos]

It is a very tough thing indeed to find out that someone you cherished and trusted turned out to be someone who was untrustworthy and faithless. You feel like a fool for having placed your trust in them. However, as many here have suggested, hanging on to that anger, righteous as it may or may not be, does no one any favors. Forgiveness comes at the cost of denying yourself, because the person to whom the gift of forgiveness is given is never deserving of the gift. Do it anyway. Also, keep in mind that though the person may have proven to be faithless, that doesn’t mean that God was faithless in doing the work of the sacraments. Rest assured that though man fails, God never fails.

 

[cshoremom]

Absolutely not in any way were we hurt by this priest…I hold no animosity towards him. Mainly just sad , I guess… He is in my prayers . He’s human, he sinned ( allegedly). I had heard that the church “settled” which led me to believe that the accusations were true, however they proved it, I am not sure…

 

[cshoremom]

I think you captured my feelings 100%… Thank you for understanding. This is exactly “it”

 

[cshoremom]

I keep thinking this… what if the “victims” made false claims against him.

I am certain God will deal with it. I will just keep him in my prayers ( of gratitude for all the good things he accomplished, and pray for his soul, and forgiveness for any wrongdoing)
Thanks for your response.

 

[cshoremom]

We may never know… I have made the assumption that because there was a settlement, that there was proven guilt. This may not be… Thanks for your thoughtful response. Lots of great points.