josephdavid:
Thanks for your clarificatioin. Did not make me feel better but only upset. Not your fault but my own stupidity and my habitual sinning (pornography addiction).
I am not worried what others think of me but someting overwhelms me when I can not take the Eucharist or even just attend mass. Haha sometimes I think I am worse the St. Augistine who would claw at the walls to get to Mass. I did not make it to Mass this morning and already have an empty feeling inside.
Funny thing this past month I have contacted 4 parishes to set an appointment all said they will get back to me and never have. It is heart breaking. I called one of the parishes back and the receptionist was quite rude. I became upset slightly and in a stern voice asked her if she realizes how serious the matter is.
Fortunately I found a parish on the way home that is having confession at 7:00pm. I pray I can make it in time.
How sorry I am for you, that as a Catholic, you do not have good and generous support for the Sacrament of Penance. If you had a good orthodox parish or monastery around, you ultimately should be going weekly until the addiction is under control. God doesn’t give us more than we can handle, rather it is learning how to control the addiction. But, in order to handle it, we often need advice.
There is an organization called True Nights at the top of the Morality forum in a thread for links pertaining to such addictions. I strongly encourage you to contact them.
To be caught up in any sinful addiction is disheartening at the very least, but also know that the seriousness, while no less sinful, is mitigated when it reaches the level of addiction. In other words, it can be more venial once a heavy addiction sets in because you are not as in control of yourself, if it hadn’t reached an addictive level (reference the CCC on masturbation, for example).
But, any good confessor, upon seeing your desire to turn from sin, will encourage you to come back weekly, and more often than that if necessary. He may even give you his phone number and tell you to call him if you feel you are about to fall (less common, but I"ve heard of such cases). This is where True Knights comes in because they set up a buddy system using other men, who have overcome their particular sexual addiction - most of which is internet porn as it is so easily accessible.
Don’t give in to despair. It is the worst thing you can do and it gives Satan a leg up, which is what he wants.
If I were you, I would write in to Ask an Apologist and hopefully get Fr. Serpa to answer a question of whether one who is heavily addicted to Porn can possibly receive communion while waiting to make a confession when it is not so readily available in your area. Explain what you have gone through to get to confession. He is solid and will tell you what you can do and maybe give you some ideas.
Are you in a rural area, or a more suburban area where there may be many, many parishes within a 10 mile area?
If you are not in a rural area, I would make a post in this forum with a title that includes your diocese name that may look like this:
“Richmond Diocese - Need to find better confession availability”
Or, something to that effect. You would be surprised how many people may jump in to direct you to this parish or that.
I’m sorry to say, my friend, that parishes with good confession availability is hard to find. When I switched parishes, I managed to land in one that is very orthodox and basic in its Catholicism and we not only have it available every Saturday for 1.5 hours with about 2 priests, but before each mass on Sundays. Some of the priests actually go to their box outside of posted hours and the people come. This includes prior to weekday masses.
This is what I call very generous availability of confession times. It is so wonderful to see the altar boys all lined up prior to Mass and people of all ages take advantage of it. It is how Jesus intended us to use the sacrament - to help us along.
I go weekly to simply build virtue, but I can tell you there was a time when I first got there that I had to work through some very difficult issue. Generously available confession was the key to dealing with those issues.
I will pray for you, but don’t hesistate to use these forums to find a solid church in your area like mine. That parish is only 12 minutes from my home, but in a direction i never drive. I didn’t know it was there and only regret not finding it 25 years ago. There may be a gem like this in your back yard too.
I’m in the Detroit area so if you are anywhere near me, don’t hesitate to go to Assumption Grotto in Detroit or St. Cyril & Methodius in Troy.
