Addiction and Overeating?

[zipperc98]

I am seeking some suggestions on a very serious issues I struggle with, which as you can see by the title, is overeating.

Overeating has a VERY direction connection to my emotions. In relation to this addiction, I can also lump shopping/money spending in to this. When I struggle with unhappy feelings, when I am depressed, when I am bored, whatever the case may be, I eat.

Since 2003 I have been involved with Weight Watchers. It has been a wonderful program for me, and still continues to be. I reached goal and lifetime several years ago. Sadly right after reaching lifetime status, I gained some weight (not a lot, just a little) just from not trying very hard anymore.

3 years ago now I was at a rather stagnant weight. Maybe more weight than I wanted, but relatively ok with it. Well 3 years ago began my faith journey which eventually led me to the Catholic church, when I was baptised this last Easter (2011). Along with this journey however has been a LOT of emotion. My marriage has been falling apart for years, in particular since this journey. Last August my husband decided he wanted to be done. For now I am attempting to hang on as tightly as I can, but at current state I am incredibly depressed.

I am overweight. In fact, higher than I have ever been in my adult life. It is a downward spiral for me. I eat because I feel bad, which causes more issues, etc. I also have some money struggles currently, and I know it is related also to my addiction to things filling a void in my life, such as food, shopping, etc. This question isn’t really about the shopping aspect, but I am trying to paint a clear picture as to what I am going through.

In short, I am overwhelmed with many many things. Money, Marital struggles, parenting struggles. Health issues even, which I am convinved are worsened BECAUSE of the weight I hold on to. I am overwhelmed to the point that it is all just too much and I do not deal with the problems. I have avoided them, or perpetuated them.

I’m not proud of it. Its incredibly discouraging. I have talked to my pastor a couple times, though frankly I am a bit discontent with my current parish as I am striving for a more traditional approach, and most of my parish simply is not. So, I am not really getting much for advice there.

I just dislike my life, and just about everything about it. Faith is the one thing holding me together. I Thank God for that! But I really desperately want to get in control of my eating, and that habit. I am confident that if I could start to really make this change, and keep it permament, it will help me with other addictions. In other words, the methods are similar.

A couple years ago I attended Overeaters Anonymous very briefly. I discovered I could relate to that program. Most of the people there had similar issues. I have not really had much of a chance to return there. Perhaps that would be a good start for me.

What I am really hoping for is something that has a sort of Catholic background to it. Perhaps a way of incorporating my faith into conquering this addiction. I was listening to a radio show about pornography and feeling almost as though I could relate to some of those addicts as well. I am not really sure if the overeating issues I have are similarly seated in my brain the way a pornography or alcohol addiction could be. I don’t know, it’s possible and I am willing to look at the options.

Sorry for my long ramble here. Any suggestions, perhaps some good books or discussions to listen to that would give me a new perspective on getting control of myself. I need to start somewhere. As much as I pray for guidance and help, I cannot just sit back and expect that I will have to do nothing.

Please friends, I am in agony over this (these) addiction(s). I need some sound advice, or even just some good materials that could help me. While weight watchers definitely works, the one thing it cannot do for me is deal with the emotional aspects. This is very deep seated and I know I must deal with the deeper issues in order to gain control of the more physical aspects. I hope that makes sense.

Thank you for listening, any suggestions would be appreciated. God Bless you all!

 

[zipperc98]

I should clarify something as well. I go through very short lived periods of motivation. Particularly in the evenings…for some reason I am most alert at this time of day, and is usually my most inspired times. But I am often afraid to go to bed that night because I know in the morning, often the inspiration is gone.

It is SO hard for me to keep the motivation going. I find that my success in the past has only occured after a steady enough period of time where I am consistently losing and working hard. Only then does it become easier. Time makes things easier. But I know how hard it is, and how easy it is to fall. I often find if I fall off the wagon, I give up entirely.

It is hard to keep up the consistency, or at least stay motivated long enough for it to become a habit. I feel unfaithful in this sense. I promise myself, and God, I am making this change…yet within days I have already caved. So…incredibly…discouraging.

Ok, that was what I wanted to add.

 

[Trishie]

You summarized,

“In short, I am overwhelmed with many many things. Money, Marital struggles, parenting struggles. Health issues even, which I am convinced are worsened BECAUSE of the weight I hold on to. I am overwhelmed to the point that it is all just too much and I do not deal with the problems. I have avoided them, or perpetuated them.”

That is a lot to cope with, along with the eating problems and the shopping therapy shopping. Added to these was a new faith journey and reception into the Church, however, you are not happy in your less than Traditional parish.

There is a lot happening in your life.

You don’t mention family or friends who can offer you support and companionship.
You have no doubt a lot of unresolved issues and most likely do need people in your life who inspire you.

You found "Overeaters’ Anonymous to be helpful. Is there any reason why you could not return to this? In such a group you can share your problems with others who understand, and you can also receive guidance regarding addictions and how to overcome them…

Yes you do have a lot to cope with, and you’re finding that very hard. If you give up hope when you ‘fall of the wagon’ would you recover more quickly if you had O. Anon friends to encourage you?
Recovery from several things you mentioned, including marriage breakdown, is very difficult…For the moment, as you know that O.Anon is helpful, could you make yourself begin again, one step at a time? One meeting at a time?

Warm regards, and prayers,
Trishie

 

[Chattingnut]

Hi there. I’m sorry to hear that you’re having so many problems. I will certainly pray for you.

 As far as overeating and addiction go, we have quite a bit in common.  I have struggled for over a year with what I'll call binge eating every night, telling myself I'll start dieting tomorrow. I might last a day or two, but as soon as something really delicious is in reach, that's the end of that.

 I've managed to go a week now, eating sensibly, without going crazy on food in the evenings as I usually do, and I've even lost a couple of pounds.

 There is only one thing I've done differently, and It's this: I pray 1 decade of the rosary daily. 

 I realize 1 decade doesn't sound like much, but I have seven children and not much time. I pray more when I have time, but that was my New Years resolution this year, to say 1 decade of the rosary daily.

 After 2 weeks of that, I haven't had much of an urge to overeat. I was tempted once, but after I prayed the ' Our Father ' once, the urge was gone.

 I have never posted a reply on the forum, and never planned to, but after what has happened to me I had to share. I am truly amazed, and now in awe of the power of prayer.

 God Bless You

 

[fred_conty]

Zipperc98,
Something inside of you got broken. You’ve quit. It is too much for you.
What I am about to say is not just something to say to you, but in all
truth is the very truth. The devil uses dispair against people, he makes
them give up. That is his main way to capture you. I have said it
before and I’ll say it again, dispair is his weapon of choice. He’s won
the game with you and he knows it just like he knows you only so well.
Right now he has you thinking wrong, and then the next step is he will
have you doing wrong. You need fixing on the inside. You first have
to give up your thoughts of despairing, that is, you don’t have a
solution to your broken inside. You do. But you first have to recognize
that you don’t have a problem that anyone else can fix, only you can fix
this. But the obstacle to fixing it, is to DESIRE to fix it, which you right
now don’t have. That’s why we cannot help you. Only you can do it.
What you have to do is start small because at this point you are helpless.
Now if you try what I’m going to suggest to you next, it will get you
out of the hole your in. Its simple, yet because it is simple, it is not
tried. Try it.

Just say now and then thru the day, “Lord, help me to want to change”.

Just keep saying “Lord, help me to want to change.”
Do not try to change yourself, it usually won’t work in your condition.
Just keep saying over and over whenever you have a moment,
“Lord, help me to want to change.” Even tho you know your going
to continue in your present pattern, still say that prayer no matter
how you feel, or even if you feel like your lying in saying the prayer.
Keep at it for days, weeks, months, as long as it takes for Jesus
to answer that prayer.

One day you will snap out of it and suddenly will be asking yourself
“what am I doing?” And then you will change. He will turn
on a light inside of you and suddenly you see it. And then
things will appear different. It will be all over and you will find
the self you want. The worst thing you could do is to quit.
The temptation to quit will be strongest when you fail and sin.
Then you will think, what good is it to pray this silly prayer?
Then you think its not doing any good and not working.
Don’t you believe it. Keep saying that short prayer over and over.

That prayer tells Him how dependent you are on Him and how weak
you are and in great need for his assistenance. You are admitting
that you need His help and without him you are helpless. That is
a strong prayer. He loves that kind of prayer. He now has your
attention and will answer you with a shower of his mercy.

Caveat. The prayer is not “Lord help me to change.”
The prayer is “Lord help me to WANT to change.”
It will pass in -His- time.

I will keep you in my prayers as well.