Adult children with parents who have left the church

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ZemD

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My husband and I were born in 1990 and 1991.

Our parents were born between 1956 and 1966, as were the parents of many of our friends.

Growing up, our parents were practicing thier faith, or at least attended mass. Now that we are adults, our parents are cathoilc in name only and in some cases are hostile to teachings of the faith. As is the case with the majority of our friends parents as well. The churches around here each Sunday are filled with mostly the elderly, young people, and parents with children. Very few people in my parents age demographic are there.

What happened to the boomers during thier lifetime to influence them in this way? Our grandparents were devout Catholics, so why have the children of so many of the ‘greatest generation’ left the faith?
 
Well I can only speak for my husband (1961) and I (1966). We are very devout and we have many friends in our age range who are.
ZemD said:
What happened to the boomers during thier lifetime to influence them in this way? Our grandparents were devout Catholics, so why have the children of so many of the ‘greatest generation’ left the faith?
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I think you are over generalizing. Some in this age range have left, some have returned, some have converted, some remain as they always have been.

We are talking about millions of people. Their reasons are varied, and anything you get here is anecdotal, at best.
 
I hope that I’m over generalizing and that there are still many people my parents age who do still beleive and practice the faith. I don’t see that in my area.
 
ZemD said:
What happened to the boomers during thier lifetime to influence them in this way?
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Sin, and a cunning devil who knows how to use mass media to his full advantage.

Ask your parents why they don’t go. Not to condemn, instead engage and counter with the right questions.

Why don’t you go to church anymore?
God knows we’re good people.
Where in the bible does it say that?
 
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@QwertyGirl I don’t meam to be intrusive, please do not take my question as such.

Are you in this age bracket? I’ve read your posts on other threads and you seem to disagree with some church teaching. Were you ever catholic and if so what made you leave?
 
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I have asked my parents and my husband has asked his. There unfortunately isn’t much dialogue, just a denial of church teaching with no real explanation given as to how they got there.

From our conversations there is a denial of hell and purgatory, and the denial of the need for confession. It stuck out to me this seems to be a common theme with our parents and our friends parents.
 
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When a close older family member left the church (she had already raised two of her kids to adulthood), it had been after a series of misfortunes that occurred in such a way it was easier to get swept along with the current culture rather than to stand and fight the sin and dysfunction in her own house.

Essentially, she had a nervous breakdown and took the path of least resistance.
 
ZemD said:
What happened to the boomers during thier lifetime to influence them in this way? Our grandparents were devout Catholics, so why have the children of so many of the ‘greatest generation’ left the faith?
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At the risk of over generalizing, what happened to boomers is that they were never really taught the faith. To the extent they were taught, they were very young and later were presented with a great deal if conflicting information.

If one has ever been involved in teaching a good faith formation program, one quickly discovers the kids’ parents often know as little of the faith as the kids.
Your grandparents were devout Catholics who, as a whole, failed to pass on the faith. Your parents’’ generation did the same.
 
ZemD said:
From our conversations there is a denial of hell and purgatory, and the denial of the need for confession.
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This is just another variation of the “we’re good people” theme. Notice how they left “heaven” out of their analysis.

Their head-in-the-sand will be overcome by time. Hopefully it won’t come to late.

Keep learning the scripture and be ready when their pop-culture cracks start to show.
 
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I do not doubt that the failure of thier parents to thoroughly instruct them in the faith may have caused many to leave the faith.

Personally, my grandparents were the people who taught me the most about the faith, and seeing the way they lived thier lives drove me to want to learn more on my own in my early 20’s so I could I be more like them. For my own family It seems they were taught the faith but chose to reject it.

I appreciate all the responses thus far. It really upsets me that my husband and I are the only practicing Catholics left in our families. I pray for the return to the faith of both our families each night.
 
tafan2 said:
At the risk of over generalizing, what happened to boomers is that they were never really taught the faith. To the extent they were taught, they were very young and later were presented with a great deal if conflicting information.

If one has ever been involved in teaching a good faith formation program, one quickly discovers the kids’ parents often know as little of the faith as the kids.
Your grandparents were devout Catholics who, as a whole, failed to pass on the faith. Your parents’’ generation did the same.
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You believe this because why? Because you believe knowledgable people who understand the faith quite well aren’t intelligent enough to have a well-formed opposing belief system?

That is quite a disrespectful and condescending concept of why someone would leave the Church.
 
It was a statement made as a general case, and I stand by it. Certainly there are folks who understand the faith and still choose to reject it. But overall, the generation of catholics who was raised in the 70s and 80s were horribly catechized. As such, many of them leave the faith because they never understood it. I am in my 50s, and I do not know any families in my generation and younger who have not had people leave the faith. And knowing many of these people well, I know for a fact they have very little understanding of the Catholic faith. It is literally all around us. I see nothing condescending or disrespectful about this viewpoint. I won’t apologize for the viewpoint because you are offended by it.
 
I am also in my 50’s. The people I know who left the faith didn’t do it because of lack of education or understanding. They studied, reflected, studied, reflected, learned, and did all of the other things people do while making a serious, life decision. In fact, many of them are better versed in Church teaching than those who have stayed.

I don’t believe I will change your mind on this, but felt a correction was necessary.
 
What can I say? I would say that your experience with people who have left the faith is the exact opposite of mine. I am trying to think of one person I know, around my age or younger, who left the faith and can do a good job explaining the faith. Drawing a blank. One brother, 2 sister-in-laws, several nieces and nephews, several cousins, some friends who I grew up with. Every one who I talked to about it actually spouts the misunderstandings of the faith common to whatever believe system they migrated to.
 
Oh it may be the difference between those who leave for a different faith, and those who leave and don’t replace it with another denomination or religion. Most that I know fall into the second category.
 
Nope, that was my point about the statements they make. Those who leave and don’t replace it with any religion or denomination do not know their faith at all, in my experience. I can think of a good friend who grew up an Catholic and is now an atheist, he actually claims that Jesus likely never existed. Now, no historian thinks that. But he does. I have heard him claim that the Church once taught the earth was flat. He could not name the seven sacraments if you spotted him six.
 
Oh another reason… lazy?

Two of my sons have no problem regularly missing mass for any sporting event, teleivised or not.

The sacred football (any ball/puck), must be worshipped! LoL
 
tafan2 said:
Nope, that was my point about the statements they make. Those who leave and don’t replace it with any religion or denomination do not know their faith at all, in my experience. I can think of a good friend who grew up an Catholic and is now an atheist, he actually claims that Jesus likely never existed. Now, no historian thinks that. But he does. I have heard him claim that the Church once taught the earth was flat. He could not name the seven sacraments if you spotted him six.
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Well I guess you are right then. We have two very different sets of experiences.
 
Retsel said:
Oh another reason… lazy?
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I wouldn’t conclude laziness. I would conclude it isn’t a priority for them, or important at all. That could be for a million different reasons.

It is uncharitable to assume laziness, I believe. Especially when it is most likely not the truth. We do things in life that are important and matter to us…things that have value. Apparently Catholicism isn’t that, for them.
 
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