L
lgnutah
Guest
We have a 32 year old daughter who as a child, was a kind hearted, sweet, caring gentle person. She was painfully shy when young and had lots of anxieties and fears but wanted very much to have an “exciting” life and be popular.
She left home and moved in with a boyfriend after her first semester of college and then dropped out of college a year later. Though he came from a good family, he was emotionally abusive, mentally ill, alcoholic, and was able to manipulate her (she adopted his immoral lifestyle). She left him a year later and then met another, similar man, who she married. He also came from a well to do family. We found out later that he was a drug abuser and physically and emotionally abused her. Her drinking increased during her marriage (although she denied it, she also used drugs).
After she divorced him, we supported her financially and paid her tuition so she could finish college. She began to take advantage of our help (began regularly charging huge amounts on the credit card we gave her for emergencies only). She graduated from college but never looked for a job afterward (she kept working as a waitress).
It seems as if she has given up and now makes no attempt to try to lead a “normal” life. She “dates” wealthy men who give her money when she needs it. She rarely works and has no ambition or goals. She goes to restaurant bars several nights a week and her evenings are based on drinking as entertainment.
Some nights she calls when she has been drinking and slurs so much she can’t be understood (I have started turning the ringers on my phone to silent at 7 pm because I find it too emotionally draining to get late evening calls from her).
I have tried to focus on her good qualities when I talk with her and try to get her to think about working toward life goals (she agrees this is a good idea, but does nothing). I have mailed her lots of self help books. I continue to make “moral” observations about the situations she gets herself into and though she may agree, she never makes any positive changes in her life. She does not have any interest in going to church or going to AA. She does not have any health insurance (to pay for counseling, and she says she doesn’t need it). When she called last weekend she sounded high or drunk and we told her she needed help. She said she is taking anti-anxiety medication now (she must have acquired it illegally as she didn’t go to a Dr).
My heart aches for her and the path she is walking down.
She left home and moved in with a boyfriend after her first semester of college and then dropped out of college a year later. Though he came from a good family, he was emotionally abusive, mentally ill, alcoholic, and was able to manipulate her (she adopted his immoral lifestyle). She left him a year later and then met another, similar man, who she married. He also came from a well to do family. We found out later that he was a drug abuser and physically and emotionally abused her. Her drinking increased during her marriage (although she denied it, she also used drugs).
After she divorced him, we supported her financially and paid her tuition so she could finish college. She began to take advantage of our help (began regularly charging huge amounts on the credit card we gave her for emergencies only). She graduated from college but never looked for a job afterward (she kept working as a waitress).
It seems as if she has given up and now makes no attempt to try to lead a “normal” life. She “dates” wealthy men who give her money when she needs it. She rarely works and has no ambition or goals. She goes to restaurant bars several nights a week and her evenings are based on drinking as entertainment.
Some nights she calls when she has been drinking and slurs so much she can’t be understood (I have started turning the ringers on my phone to silent at 7 pm because I find it too emotionally draining to get late evening calls from her).
I have tried to focus on her good qualities when I talk with her and try to get her to think about working toward life goals (she agrees this is a good idea, but does nothing). I have mailed her lots of self help books. I continue to make “moral” observations about the situations she gets herself into and though she may agree, she never makes any positive changes in her life. She does not have any interest in going to church or going to AA. She does not have any health insurance (to pay for counseling, and she says she doesn’t need it). When she called last weekend she sounded high or drunk and we told her she needed help. She said she is taking anti-anxiety medication now (she must have acquired it illegally as she didn’t go to a Dr).
My heart aches for her and the path she is walking down.
