adults

[stephen1958]

What does the church mean by adult children?

 

[YADA]

What is the context that prompts your question?

After children reach the age of reason [age seven] a parent cannot make for them the baptismmal promises as for an infant. the child must ask for the baptism and speak upon their own behalf. Is this what you are asking?

 

[stephen1958]

My wife and I raised our children in the catholic faith, they are baptized, confirmed, teached about catholic faith, etc. One of them age 17, rejects some Church teachings and follows another way. I know she has a free will, but it’s difficult for us, as parents, to see her getting away from Church teachings. We try to push her but she just won’t listen; it’s in that way I’m asking the question. How to take our responsabilities as parents in that case?

 

[Mirdath]

You can’t make her Catholic. Even if she goes through the motions to please you, she won’t really be Catholic (I had the same experience at that age). Don’t try to push her, don’t tell her ‘it’s just a phase’ or ‘you’ll grow out of it’. At 17, she’s grown enough to make her own choices and form her own beliefs.

I realize this might not be what you want to hear, and it certainly isn’t too pleasant, but trust me – it isn’t any fun to lose one’s faith either.

Might I suggest you look to St Monica as a role model?

 

[SeekerJen]

My wife and I raised our children in the catholic faith, they are baptized, confirmed, teached about catholic faith, etc. One of them age 17, rejects some Church teachings and follows another way. I know she has a free will, but it’s difficult for us, as parents, to see her getting away from Church teachings. We try to push her but she just won’t listen; it’s in that way I’m asking the question. How to take our responsabilities as parents in that case?

Depends on what she is rejecting. If she is rejecting some articles of faith, well, there’s not much you can do. Attempting to force her to believe in, say, papal primacy or the Real Presence if she does not (or thinks she does not) will likely only drive her further away. If she is actively rejecting articles of morals as determined by her behavior, then you have more authority. She is still a minor, living in your house, and has the potential to influence her siblings. So if she’s engaging in sexual immorality, using harmful substances, or engaging in otherwise scandalous activities, by all means put your foot down.

 

[drafdog]

Teenagers rebel. Keep repeating that like a Mantra. They also get over rebellion and mature into real adults. Take comfort from the fact that most of us weren’t perfect as teenagers but the world has yet to come to an end. Nor has the Church come to an end.

 

[stephen1958]

I’ll give more details about the facts of my daughter I’m worrying about.
Now she’s 17 (18 in june) and she has a boy friend of 19. Sometimes she stays in her boy friends home for a few days during holidays. We don’t know if they have sex or so but she can give scandal to others by doing so. She knows our statement and she knows we are not pleased at all by the way she’s living but you can’t lock her up also. I know she’s still a minor and she should obey her parents in just cases but we also have the law (I’m from Belgium) against us; (sexual adultness at 16, etc)

 

[kage_ar]

Young adult children, we have the same rules our parents used - if you live in my house, you abide by the house rules. Had I told my mom and dad that I was sleeping over at my boyfirends house (at 17 or at 25), I would have come home to my belogings on the front porch and the locks changed. While under their roof, I was expected to show my parents the proper respect, and will expect the same from my son. If I chose not to abide by their rules, I was free to find another place to live and to support myself, same goes for our teen today.

 

[SeekerJen]

I agree with kage_ar. Your daughter is now setting an example for her siblings. If she thinks she’s old enough to have an “adult” relationship, then she’s old enough to behave like an adult in other aspects of her life. Give her the choice, and hold her to it. You owe that to your other kids.