Advice about being angry with God

[Binary]

When I feel angry at God, I feel even angrier knowing that God is perfect and so my anger can’t possibly be justified. No matter how angry I am, I know that it is essentially the product of my own ignorance vis-a-vis God’s plan. Until I can understand and make peacce with whatever is making me angry, I get stuck in a feedback loop of anger at myself and God and through all of it, knowing without a doubt that my anger will seem stupid in retrospect (which causes feedback also).

So… what can I do about this?

EDIT: Another part of this feedback loop is that I feel angry at myself for feeling angry when I know that the cause of it is (almost always) very small compared to the suffering other people in the world go through.

 

[Little_One0307]

When I feel angry at God, I feel even angrier knowing that God is perfect and so my anger can’t possibly be justified. No matter how angry I am, I know that it is essentially the product of my own ignorance vis-a-vis God’s plan. Until I can understand and make peacce with whatever is making me angry, I get stuck in a feedback loop of anger at myself and God and through all of it, knowing without a doubt that my anger will seem stupid in retrospect (which causes feedback also).

So… what can I do about this?

EDIT: Another part of this feedback loop is that I feel angry at myself for feeling angry when I know that the cause of it is (almost always) very small compared to the suffering other people in the world go through.

Binary,

Oh how I struggle with this at times, at I did today. I can’t really tell you what you can do about it, but I can share what I do, and perhaps it might help.

1. Have frequent recourse to the Sacraments.
2. Try to see things from the lens of eternity rather than the here and now. What I am going through today that may be making me angry, is tempral and of necessity will come to an end.
3. I pray for the grace to remain small before the Throne of His Most Inifinte Majesty and to be humble.
4. I confess as often as I need to when I get angry and when I can make it to Confession.
5. Praying the Litany of Humility helps me.
6. When I get angry, sometimes I just gotta take a few minutes out and just sit there looking and mediating upon the crucifix, I have found it nearly impossible to be angry while looking at the Crucifix.
7. I ask for the Intercesion of Mary.
8. I have a Spiritual Director and practice the practice of manifesting my thoughts. It is most helpful and pretty much yanks the teeth out of most things.

I find most of the time when I am angry or frustrated, it is rooted in pride. I cannot tell you how many times I have confessed to pride and I wil probably confess more concerning pride until the day I die. Humility et Caritas are key here. Humility and Love. Humbly walk before the Lord and lovingly obey Him.

Concerning the last part of your post. My SD has often told me to do this and it is MOST helpful to me.

When I find myself angry at commiting another sin or making the same mistake over and over again, it is out of pride usually. He suggested the following.

1. Ask God to humbly forgive you. Go to Confession if needed.
2. Thank God that it was not any worse.
3. Pray that God will bring a greater good out of it [and you know what He always will, though we may never see it on this side of eternity.]

My SD also says another saying which I find much comfort in. He says there are saints and there are strugglers. The saints are in heaven. When thinking about this, it brings to mind the saints and I often ask them for their prayers.

And yet another saying. The just man falls seven times , and seven times arises.

I will pray for you. Please keep me in your prayers as well.

God bless.

 

[OscarsMama]

What has worked for me when I get angry at God is to talk to him about it. Just the same way that you would talk to your friend or family member who made you angry. You try to have a civil conversation. You tell them why you are angry. You hope that they say that they are sorry. Sometimes they do. Sometimes they don’t. God won’t say He is sorry. BUT, he WILL listen. He WILL comfort you. And he loves you regardless of whether or not you are angry at him.

It may sound kind of simple and childish, but it has worked for me. And, I admit, I really suffer from the sin of pride in all its forms. So, I get angry with God a lot.

 

[1sicht]

for your candor, Binary! Probably a lot of people besides me can relate to what you’re writing.

I deal with it thusly: first of all, I focus on His glory as revealed in His Creation (I need tangibles); that softens my anger by eliciting praise (“Thou hast made me glad by the works of Thy hands”). Rinse and repeat as often as necessary. Supplement with focusing on verses that complement that action (Nave’s Topical Bible lists verses by theme, so you could look up “God” and then subheading “Glory” or “Majesty” or “Goodness”). Additionally, as much as possible, do constructive/creative things, including at least some that in one way or another benefit someone else. The idea is to get your mind OFF yourself and your anger, not by sheer willpower (which never works for me), but rather by “distracting” and “rechanneling” the part of you that’s angry.

 

[Anthony_V]

When I feel angry at God, I feel even angrier knowing that God is perfect and so my anger can’t possibly be justified. No matter how angry I am, I know that it is essentially the product of my own ignorance vis-a-vis God’s plan. Until I can understand and make peacce with whatever is making me angry, I get stuck in a feedback loop of anger at myself and God and through all of it, knowing without a doubt that my anger will seem stupid in retrospect (which causes feedback also).

So… what can I do about this?

EDIT: Another part of this feedback loop is that I feel angry at myself for feeling angry when I know that the cause of it is (almost always) very small compared to the suffering other people in the world go through.

My suggested reading for you is the Book of Job in the Old Testament. You’ll be able to relate to how Job feels. But the end is very sobering, and completely modifies how the reader thinks the story might end. In addition, it is a beautiful work of literature, and one of the finest in the OT (apart from Psalms).

 

[jochoa]

I am very sorry for your troubles, my neighbor. It is a very difficult situation to know that so much peace and happiness are awaiting you, but you might not know where or how to start achieving it. I have definitely been in quite similar situations (recently even).

What works for me:
Set the proper Mindset

1. I recognize that in every struggle(except struggles with God), all perspectives are somewhat righteous and somewhat unrighteous. In your example, yours is somewhat righteous and somewhat unrighteous & God’s is Wholly Righteous. Now you know how yours is somewhat righteous, so now focus on how the opposing perspective is righteous.
2. In order to remain optimistic (peaceful), resolve to understand how the other perspective is righteous. It is not necessary to focus on how yours or theirs is unrighteous because recognizing how the other perspective is righteous should be sufficient.

I would also recommend you to start with focusing on the greatest commandment, To Love. To focus on love, I recommend Day 1 of The Love Dare → books.google.com/books?id=mR8N5nWfONsC&printsec=frontcover&source=gbs_atb#v=onepage&q&f=false
Please keep in mind that the Love Dare is written for spouses, however it shouldn’t be far fetched as to how to apply it to any relationship.

I hope I have been of assistance rather than as fuel to your fire. I also hope that you may find greater peace sooner than later.

 

[Whitacre_Girl]

When I feel angry at God, I feel even angrier knowing that God is perfect and so my anger can’t possibly be justified. No matter how angry I am, I know that it is essentially the product of my own ignorance vis-a-vis God’s plan. Until I can understand and make peacce with whatever is making me angry, I get stuck in a feedback loop of anger at myself and God and through all of it, knowing without a doubt that my anger will seem stupid in retrospect (which causes feedback also).

So… what can I do about this?

EDIT: Another part of this feedback loop is that I feel angry at myself for feeling angry when I know that the cause of it is (almost always) very small compared to the suffering other people in the world go through.

first, I want to address the last line. We can’t go through life denying our own feelings because “other people have it worse.” No matter your situation, you can find someone in a “worse” situation (by our standards.) Rather than comparing yourself to others, acknowledge your feelings and sufferings. Denying them is rather frivolous and will always cause them to bubble up later in rather destructive ways, but dwelling on them is just as bad. Acknowledge them, offer them to God, and live with it.

Secondly, admit your feelings. Know that we are frail, weak, and anger is part of our condition. If you are angry, be angry. God is big, powerful, and ever-loving - he can handle our anger. Think of children, they get mad at their parents for silly reasons, but it doesn’t mean the parent dislikes their children any less. You can be angry with God and not be sinning – so long as you allow it in a positive and constructive manner. Admit that you are fallen, and allow yourself to have those emotions and express them so you can deal with them.

Lastly, TELL Him how you feel. I get angry with God and I tell him that I’m angry and why. I also make sure to include a petition for his patience as I sort through my faulty and frail human perception and emotion. Don’t deny your emotions - it is through experiencing emotion that we grow, learn, and develop. Repressing them just leads to future explosions that are hard to handle at all, let alone healthily. It also draws you nearer to God because you are forced to talk to him. Just like in a marriage – fights mean you are talking, and that leads to intimacy. Tell God exactly how you feel and rely on commitment to pull you through it. He can handle it, and I rather think he loves us all the more when we are honest with him and stop faking our way through life and “spirituality.” Just be sure that you dealing with it in a healthy way, and seek out the counsel of others in the faith like a priest, or wise friend.

 

[Jonesboy]

When I feel angry at God, I feel even angrier knowing that God is perfect and so my anger can’t possibly be justified. No matter how angry I am, I know that it is essentially the product of my own ignorance vis-a-vis God’s plan. Until I can understand and make peacce with whatever is making me angry, I get stuck in a feedback loop of anger at myself and God and through all of it, knowing without a doubt that my anger will seem stupid in retrospect (which causes feedback also).

So… what can I do about this?

EDIT: Another part of this feedback loop is that I feel angry at myself for feeling angry when I know that the cause of it is (almost always) very small compared to the suffering other people in the world go through.

If we feel unimportant and not in God’s plan then we might feel that our own pains are less important than other peoples pains.
I don’t think that whatever is said or done God would be offended.

 

[Binary]

My suggested reading for you is the Book of Job in the Old Testament. You’ll be able to relate to how Job feels. But the end is very sobering, and completely modifies how the reader thinks the story might end. In addition, it is a beautiful work of literature, and one of the finest in the OT (apart from Psalms).

Thank you. There’s been a lot of good advice in this thread, and yours has helped me the most. I wish I had read the end first, though! It would have saved me a lot of anger and anxiety.

 

[PJM]

=Binary;8069763]When I feel angry at God, I feel even angrier knowing that God is perfect and so my anger can’t possibly be justified. No matter how angry I am, I know that it is essentially the product of my own ignorance vis-a-vis God’s plan. Until I can understand and make peacce with whatever is making me angry, I get stuck in a feedback loop of anger at myself and God and through all of it, knowing without a doubt that my anger will seem stupid in retrospect (which causes feedback also).

So… what can I do about this?

EDIT: Another part of this feedback loop is that I feel angry at myself for feeling angry when I know that the cause of it is (almost always) very small compared to the suffering other people in the world go through.

God made us as He did KNOWING ALL things. At the root of anger very ofen is PRIDE. But God is LOVE and God is FORGIVENESS.

PRAY to be able to forgive YOURSELF and things will be better for you

God Bless you,
Pat

 

[Bob_Crowley]

My suggested reading for you is the Book of Job in the Old Testament. You’ll be able to relate to how Job feels. But the end is very sobering, and completely modifies how the reader thinks the story might end. In addition, it is a beautiful work of literature, and one of the finest in the OT (apart from Psalms).

This is an old thread, and I don’t know if there’s much value in resurrecting it.

For myself, I don’t find Job much help. For one thing God doesn’t answer the queston - Job is never given a “why”, other than the reference to the devil at the start, and about which he knows nothing.

Secondly God speaks directly to him. He doesn’t do that to us, or certainly not in the same way.

Third, God resurrects all Job’s fortunes and then some. Yet the reality is that most often when people suffer grievous loss, they DON"T get their loss restored to them. The child they lost stays dead - the job they lost is not replaced - the home that burnt down is not rebuilt unless they had man made insurance etc.

Job may be brilliant poetry. It’s also a work of fiction and only as good as the imagination of the writer. To my mind, the only way in which Job is helpful is that he suffered undeservedly, and the story provides an answer to possibly Pharisaical friends who might say “Wel, it must be all your fault”.

But God doesn’t come out with flying colours either in my opinion.