Advice for a Christian/Catholic relationship

[lizds]

I really do hope I posted this in the correct category. I apologize in advance if I’ve picked out the wrong category.

I would consider my self a lost/found again Christian. Unfortunately I’m no longer a virgin, and have never been married. I’m still quite young, only 21. I’m not quite sure where to start so I hope I don’t lose you with all this information. I really don’t know where to go from here.

I’ve met some one who is Catholic, a strong believer with a rather large and supportive family. We’ve been dating for only a little bit, but I already feel close to him. He him self has never dated before. I’m really interested in learning about his faith, in fact that’s the one thing that drew me to him. I’m completely swept away by his strong morals and quite glad I’ve found some one who believes in some of the same things to I do. I only have one fear.

I’m afraid I might cross a boundary. I know very little, if anything, about the Catholic religion. I don’t even know what questions to ask first. I know a few things such as non-Catholics should take part in communion. (Please correct me if I’m wrong in this) And like I mentioned I really don’t want to cross any lines and make him uncomfortable. Where should I start? Any recommended books? Would it be inappropriate of me to ask to attend his church? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Just a side note about me. I date some one in hopes that marriage is in the future, I do not date just for the fun of it. I also understand that it’s strongly recommended for Catholics to marry fellow Catholics. I am very open minded about possibly converting after learning a bit more. If being Catholic has helped make him who he is today, I would never want to deny any future children of that.

 

[iluvmybabies]

Hello and welcome! First allow me to ask/say this…If you have been dating for a short while, I don’t think it will look ok for you to go to his church…You can bring something up in a conversation perhaps, you know give him the hint you are interested in his religion etc and see where it goes from there…I just don’t know if you have been dating for a long while or short while and it might make him feel a little weirded out…

I know that when my now sis in law asked my brother about the Catholic church and to attend masses with him, she too is Christian, they had been dating for a year…So he was actually like “I thought you’d never ask!” She’s in the process of converting…So anyhow, maybe he would like that maybe he won’t…Not sure really because we don’t know much more about your relationship with him and it’s really none of our business… lol…Just giving some advise and I think that if you talk to him about it that he might be able to give you a response of “yeah that would be great!” Or “it’s too soon for that!”

So talk to him and see how he feels…If anything let him know a little about how you feel especially about how wonderful his family is and how much you admire their strong religious belief and would like to be part of that…

Good luck and GOD bless!

 

[1ke]

I’m afraid I might cross a boundary. I know very little, if anything, about the Catholic religion. I don’t even know what questions to ask first. I know a few things such as non-Catholics should take part in communion. (Please correct me if I’m wrong in this) And like I mentioned I really don’t want to cross any lines and make him uncomfortable. Where should I start? Any recommended books? Would it be inappropriate of me to ask to attend his church? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I’m not sure what you mean by crossing a boundary. Do you mean make a mistake at Mass? He will guide you and show you what to do if you want to go to Mass with him. There is a booklet called a missalette that has everything in it so you can follow along with the prayers, etc. I think you meant *should not *go to Communion, and that is correct.

If you are interested in learning about the Catholic Faith, I suggest you inquire about RCIA. It is a process for people who want to learn more (no pressure to convert). Usually a parish will run this program Sept-May, but some do it year round. Outside of that, I suggest an easy to read book such as the US Catholic Catechism for Adults or This Is Our Faith.

I sincerely hope you find the Catholic Church to hold the fullness of truth and want to join because of that. Don’t convert to please your boyfriend, don’t convert out of fear of losing him, to get married, etc. You haven’t mentioned that as a motivation, but it’s important that you convert for the right reasons if you do. Make sure you really understand the Church’s teaching and embrace it for your own sake.

Regarding areas of sexuality, I suggest the website www.purelove.net and www.chastity.com to help you begin forming yourself in Catholic morality. Your boyfriend will lead. He is likely very committed to chastity if he is as you describe him. That is a good thing. Don’t let your past be a burden on you. Everyone is a sinner, and everyone can be forgiven.

 

[jwashu]

There is a lot to the many questions you are asking… I would suggest you check out,

www.catholicbridge.com as it’s a nice summary site IMHO. There are definitely more details here on CA and at the main site, www.catholic.com.

Do not worry about your past, focus on your future and pray about your relationship with Him and him

Joe

 

[dmelosi]

I really do hope I posted this in the correct category. I apologize in advance if I’ve picked out the wrong category.

I would consider my self a lost/found again Christian. Unfortunately I’m no longer a virgin, and have never been married. I’m still quite young, only 21. I’m not quite sure where to start so I hope I don’t lose you with all this information. I really don’t know where to go from here.

I’ve met some one who is Catholic, a strong believer with a rather large and supportive family. We’ve been dating for only a little bit, but I already feel close to him. He him self has never dated before. I’m really interested in learning about his faith, in fact that’s the one thing that drew me to him. I’m completely swept away by his strong morals and quite glad I’ve found some one who believes in some of the same things to I do. I only have one fear.

I’m afraid I might cross a boundary. I know very little, if anything, about the Catholic religion. I don’t even know what questions to ask first. I know a few things such as non-Catholics should take part in communion. (Please correct me if I’m wrong in this) And like I mentioned I really don’t want to cross any lines and make him uncomfortable. Where should I start? Any recommended books? Would it be inappropriate of me to ask to attend his church? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Just a side note about me. I date some one in hopes that marriage is in the future, I do not date just for the fun of it. I also understand that it’s strongly recommended for Catholics to marry fellow Catholics. I am very open minded about possibly converting after learning a bit more. If being Catholic has helped make him who he is today, I would never want to deny any future children of that.

I think the best approach is to simply tell him that you admire his moral character and would like to learn more about his church. What a great common ground to start a relationship.

 

[Happy3Mom]

Welcome lizds!
I married a lapsed Catholic. I was not religious myself, having been raised in a non religious family. However, I had a strong desire for a spiritual life, so after we had been married for a year, I told my dh I would like to begin attending church. I left the church up to him. I too was impressed by my dh’s morals and character, so when he chose the Catholic church, I had a very open mind.

I was immediately drawn to the litergy and began RCIA right away. I joined the church a year later and we were married by our priest (our first marriage was not valid because we were originally married by a justice of the peace). My dh renewed his faith and began studying the catechism and the Bible. He and I both began teaching CCD and he became a youth group leader. We have both learned so much through our own studies for these activities.

I did not join the church to please my dh and I feel very insulted when people insinuate my faith is not real because I converted after marrying a Catholic. I am the one who brought him back to church, LOL. But yes, I would recommend a Catholic man as the best of husbands because I have seen so many blessed marriages in our church. I wish you the best of luck. If things do not work out with your current bf, do not give up on your interest in the Church. I 2nd the recommendation to attend RCIA and find out all you can.

 

[SJG1759]

I really do hope I posted this in the correct category. I apologize in advance if I’ve picked out the wrong category.

I would consider my self a lost/found again Christian. Unfortunately I’m no longer a virgin, and have never been married. I’m still quite young, only 21. I’m not quite sure where to start so I hope I don’t lose you with all this information. I really don’t know where to go from here.

I’ve met some one who is Catholic, a strong believer with a rather large and supportive family. We’ve been dating for only a little bit, but I already feel close to him. He him self has never dated before. I’m really interested in learning about his faith, in fact that’s the one thing that drew me to him. I’m completely swept away by his strong morals and quite glad I’ve found some one who believes in some of the same things to I do. I only have one fear.

I’m afraid I might cross a boundary. I know very little, if anything, about the Catholic religion. I don’t even know what questions to ask first. I know a few things such as non-Catholics should take part in communion. (Please correct me if I’m wrong in this) And like I mentioned I really don’t want to cross any lines and make him uncomfortable. Where should I start? Any recommended books? Would it be inappropriate of me to ask to attend his church? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Just a side note about me. I date some one in hopes that marriage is in the future, I do not date just for the fun of it. I also understand that it’s strongly recommended for Catholics to marry fellow Catholics. I am very open minded about possibly converting after learning a bit more. If being Catholic has helped make him who he is today, I would never want to deny any future children of that.

Hi lizds! You sound like a great person, and your boyfriend is lucky to have you! I wouldn’t worry about overstepping any boundaries; just tell him that you are interested in Catholicism and you want to learn more. If faith is a big part of his life, he’s probably itching for an opportunity to take you to Mass and discuss faith issues. And if you haven’t already, tell him what you told us: that his faith is what drew you to him, and that should the two of you ever get married, you’d want to raise your kids Catholic because Catholicism made him the wonderful man he is.

I’m sure he’ll be thrilled. Good luck!