Advice for Discerning the Diaconate

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idrum677

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Hi. I’m a married father of 3 discerning a vocation to the permanant diaconate. I’m not quite old enough but would like to hear from men and their wives who have gone thorugh this process. :crossrc:
Can you tell me what to expect, the balance of family life/ministry, and how did your family react/change?
:eek:
Can anyone also tell me why there is little promotion of this vocation. With the priest shortage and most parishes having one priest doing everything, wouldn’t it make sense to have more PD’s. Isn’t that the reason the Apostles formed the order in the first place?
:juggle:
Any answers would be helpful in this discernment. :gopray:
 
Welcome to the club. I am also a father of three thinking of considering whether to to discern going into the diaconate. 😃

As far as your family, you will know your wife’s opinion soon enough because I believe she comes to every interview with you and gets asked lots of questions. Mine said she would be worried that I would not be able to re-marry if something happened to her.

As far as not being promoted, I frankly hear only scant calls for any vocations, priests or deacons. So I don’t know if deacons are being singled out.
 
Thanks to the both of you for the reply. I was beginning to think no one would respond to this post. My wife and I worked together on various church ministries…its actually how we met. I know she is on board with this and would be an invaluable resource. :angel1:

😃 Scott, if you don/t mind my asking, how old are your children? Mine are fairly young and I am not sure if right now is the best time. (when I say 3 children, I am counting the one we are expecting)
I know that since I was a child I had a call to ministry and for a while thought it was to the priesthood. That changed, but the calling never went away. My current had a deacon when we joined last year but I never got the chance to talk to him before he went on to a new assignment.
 
4, 2 and 1. Which is probably why I haven’t exactly been in any hurry to sign up. Of course the process I believe takes a good seven years, so factor that in.
 
I heard a priest give a talk once on the diaconate and he said many dioceses will not even consider allowing men with children to become deacons because it is just too hard on family life - their family is their first and primary vocation.

I haven’t heard a ‘cutoff age’ but the impression I received was children well into their teens or still in high school.
 
In our diocese, men cannot be ordained until they are 35ys. old. In my class, two of the men had pregnant wives and had children during our studies. Some of us were caring for aged parents and even buried them during our studies. My own 3 sons were 8,11 & 14 when we started. People responded so well in helping us get through the program, both with child care, carpooling, you name it. God opened doors for us when we thought it would be impossible. Just let go and let God. My ordination was a blessing on our whole family…while my kids had to share some time with ministerial duties, and I couldn’t sit with them as a family, they were a wonderful sounding board, keeping me humble…especially when it comes to my preaching. Pray on it. Get a spiritual director, which is a must to help you discern if you truly have a calling. It was the best decision I ever made, allowing the Holy Spirit to work through me and our family. God bless you on your journey.
 
Here’s something to consider - the commitment involves the entire family. We were told at our first meeting to go home and discuss it with the family, and if one person was strongly against the idea that my husband shouldn’t continue in the process at this point in time.

God first

Family second - our primary ministry is the one we were given when we received the beautiful Sacrament of Matrimony.
 
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