Advice for those struggling with masturbation addiction

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I have started this thread in order for people to post their techniques and methods for overcoming an addiction to masturbation and or porn, I want this forumn to act as place where those with this problem can look up ways to stop e.g. From examples of what people have done in this past that has enabled them to overcome the addiction. I understand that there are a few individual threads that discuss this problem but often it’s hard to find the advice in them and normally it is tailored to the thread starter. So please if you have ever had this addiction or have empathy with those who do please post any advice you can think of that may help, all is welcome. Thank you and God bless you x
 
Follower1994 said:
I have started this thread in order for people to post their techniques and methods for overcoming an addiction to masturbation and or porn, I want this forumn to act as place where those with this problem can look up ways to stop e.g. From examples of what people have done in this past that has enabled them to overcome the addiction. I understand that there are a few individual threads that discuss this problem but often it’s hard to find the advice in them and normally it is tailored to the thread starter. So please if you have ever had this addiction or have empathy with those who do please post any advice you can think of that may help, all is welcome. Thank you and God bless you x
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Yeah. I think it is a useful thread.
I have published some posts about the subject that I deem valid. But where to find them?
 
I would suggest having frequent recourse to the Sacraments as much as possible as you can get in your schedule.

I would also look into spritual direction.

I know in my life when I am overcoming vices and things that hinder my quality of Union with God, it helpes very much to attend Daily Mass and to go to Daily Confession. Now a note on Daily Confession, for me it is deemed that this is necessary and is approved by my spirtitual director/confessor and I am at peace with this. Now for other situations, Confession once a month should help, and one a week may help more, I would discuss this with a confessor.

In Confession I would mention what you are struggling with and be honest and transparent with the priest.

I would also recommend in finding a spiritual practice that you can put into your life, such as lectio divina, or praying a bit more. When you do feel the urge to come on, go in prayer immediately. There will be times where it will seem that all you do is fall, but it matters what happens what we do when we fall, get back up again.

These struggles are not easy to overcome, but with the help of the Sacraments and prayer anything is possible with God. It takes faith, trust, and perserverance, and humilty.

God Bless.
Anathama Sit
 
Get a spiritual director or a good confessor.

Once you consider doing that, consider this: One advice is looking at things and breaking things down to simpler, more manageable elements.

So. What is masturbation? A sin of the flesh because it is gratifying to the flesh.
So to fight it, take its opposite. Something that does not gratify the flesh. Not just sexually either. We’re talking the flesh in general, e.g.: fasting/abstaining from foods; cold showers (a classic “Go take a cold shower!” :p); sleeping with the blanket not covering your left leg and left arm or something; etc.

It is also a sin of selfishness, because only you benefit from it. Give your body’s abilities as a gift to do good works, e.g.; volunteering to feed the poor, or keeping company to the elderly; cleaning up neighborhoods so people don’t have to feel shame in their community, etc. Work & volunteer so much that by the time you have alone time you are so utterly exhausted you fall asleep (just don’t overdo it and fall asleep and wake up late for important things or, worse, fall asleep at the wheel!:eek:)

Sometimes it can even be a sin of pride, because you think “I’m holy or strong-willed enough to not fall into sin again” and you end up being wrong. Or worse yet you say that you can just confess it later. So, one important thing to do is identify the occasion for sin. Then avoid that occasion at all costs! This is founded in strong tradition and practiced by many saints as well as being thoroughly used in behavioral psychology.

Also pray. Pray without ceasing. Start living a sacramental life.

These are just ideas, and could definitely lend to trouble without the right spiritual direction. Don’t get sick over it, i.e., don’t walk outside in the winter without a shirt on praying the Rosary to do penance.

Alright now. Good luck!
 
willofgods said:
Get a spiritual director or a good confessor.

Once you consider doing that, consider this: One advice is looking at things and breaking things down to simpler, more manageable elements.

So. What is masturbation? A sin of the flesh because it is gratifying to the flesh.
So to fight it, take its opposite. Something that does not gratify the flesh. Not just sexually either. We’re talking the flesh in general, e.g.: fasting/abstaining from foods; cold showers (a classic “Go take a cold shower!” :p); sleeping with the blanket not covering your left leg and left arm or something; etc.

It is also a sin of selfishness, because only you benefit from it. Give your body’s abilities as a gift to do good works, e.g.; volunteering to feed the poor, or keeping company to the elderly; cleaning up neighborhoods so people don’t have to feel shame in their community, etc. Work & volunteer so much that by the time you have alone time you are so utterly exhausted you fall asleep (just don’t overdo it and fall asleep and wake up late for important things or, worse, fall asleep at the wheel!:eek:)

Sometimes it can even be a sin of pride, because you think “I’m holy or strong-willed enough to not fall into sin again” and you end up being wrong. Or worse yet you say that you can just confess it later. So, one important thing to do is identify the occasion for sin. Then avoid that occasion at all costs! This is founded in strong tradition and practiced by many saints as well as being thoroughly used in behavioral psychology.

Also pray. Pray without ceasing. Start living a sacramental life.

These are just ideas, and could definitely lend to trouble without the right spiritual direction. Don’t get sick over it, i.e., don’t walk outside in the winter without a shirt on praying the Rosary to do penance.

Alright now. Good luck!
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Most of what you’ve suggested here has been advised to me by my confessor as well. Quite practical is what you suggest. I would also add that the intercession of Our Blessed Mother is extraordinarily important. She wants nothing more than to lead us to her Son.
 
The other posters have given some great advice. I will add my two cents. You asked about practical steps, by which I assume you mean positive practical actions, in addition to purely spiritual actions like prayer (of course, these cannot be separated from each other, but are sort of two sides of the same coin).

Here are a few things I have done, and recommend heartily because they are helping me a great deal:
  1. Install a good filter on your internet, to prevent access to inappropriate material.
  2. Related to the first point, but going a step further: Find accountability partner(s) to help you on an ongoing basis. Get internet monitoring software that will send emails and alerts to a trusted accountability partner, to help you stay between the lines.
  3. Throw out all porn you may have in the house. That is getting increasingly quaint in this era of the internet, but I don’t want to leave it out. Two so-called “sex manuals” bit the dust in my house last year.
  4. Increase your prayer life. This is a spiritual action and a practical action. First thing in the morning I pray the Miraculous Medal Prayer, a Prayer of Consecration to the Immaculate Heart of Mary, and a prayer for chastity to St. Maria Goretti , and an Act of Contrition. I call these my “Chastity Prayers” and they get my day off to the right start. Incorporate a standard routine of prayer at set times throughout the day. The Divine Office (Liturgy of the Hours) is really helpful: I pray the Morning Prayer and the Evening Prayer. Don’t get bogged down – pray what you can, but pray.
  5. Join an accountability group, such as the Impurity Addiction Support Group on the Catholic Answers Forum (go to the CAF Groups page, and click on the link for the Impurity Addiction Support Group on the left hand side of the screen. I joined a couple months ago and it has brought me untold blessings – great people who can help, support and encourage you.
  6. Penance: Observe the Days of Penance as required or recommended by the Church. This is a good, chastening reminder of our sinful nature and the our sins, for which Jesus died on the cross. I observe the meatless Fridays – it’s not required but it’s useful. Also, turn down the temperature on your shower. Don’t take COLD showers necessarily, just make the water a teensy-weensy uncomfortable: It will keep your mind on your business.
This is not a complete list, and is a bit jumbled and random, but perhaps it will help a little.

God Bless!

RonF
 
Wow this is a great thread. I am going to copy and paste it and save it to my computer so I can use it to offer practical suggestions for people when they ask me questions on this topic. Thank you all for posting.
 
Anathama_Sit said:
I would suggest having frequent recourse to the Sacraments as much as possible as you can get in your schedule.

I would also look into spritual direction.

I know in my life when I am overcoming vices and things that hinder my quality of Union with God, it helpes very much to attend Daily Mass and to go to Daily Confession. Now a note on Daily Confession, for me it is deemed that this is necessary and is approved by my spirtitual director/confessor and I am at peace with this. Now for other situations, Confession once a month should help, and one a week may help more, I would discuss this with a confessor.

In Confession I would mention what you are struggling with and be honest and transparent with the priest.

I would also recommend in finding a spiritual practice that you can put into your life, such as lectio divina, or praying a bit more. When you do feel the urge to come on, go in prayer immediately. There will be times where it will seem that all you do is fall, but it matters what happens what we do when we fall, get back up again.

These struggles are not easy to overcome, but with the help of the Sacraments and prayer anything is possible with God. It takes faith, trust, and perserverance, and humilty.

God Bless.
Anathama Sit
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I just felt this was a wonderful, compassionate response. Thank you.
 
Some very useful advice in this thread. I’ve struggled with masturbation for a very long time now.For many years, I simply gave up…tricked myself into thinking that it wasn’t such a big deal.

It may not be a big deal, but something has always “nagged” at me from deep within. So, a few years ago, I renewed my strugggle, my fight with it. I’m successful for a while, then I fail. I’m deeply sorry for it, and I try again, but, again, I fail.

I don’t doubt that God forgives me, but I feel like such a failure in this. At times, it’s almost as though I’m on “automatic pilot”…I don’t think about the consequences, the sinfullness…I just do it.

the Lord has helped me so very much, but I continue to fail Him. Sometimes, I feel almost crushed by this habit. Yes, I fear Hell, but that’s not my major reason for wanting to stop. I want to stop in order to please Him. This sounds quite childish, but I want to make Jesus smile.

I want the last time to be just that…the last time.

Please pray for me, my brothers and sisters. I need help.

Thank you.
 
Some pratical actions ive taken are, setting my computer background as something that inspires me to do the right thing and not look at any inappropiate material, e.g a picture of jesus or just someone who means something to you, another thing is wearing a braclet, or a wwjd band on my wrist so if i do fall in to temptation it just gives me one last sign, i’ve also installed an internet filter, and again set the password as something that will hopefully make me think twice for example “God is watching” or “wwjd”. Sometimes before, i think of what other people would think if they saw me like this, e.g. a crush or family member, and how theyd disapprove.
Hope this helps.
also i might try and find an accountability partner see how that works out
Thanks i hope you all get through this addiction ill remeber you in my prays and i hope youll do the same 🙂
 
I struggled with it for around 6 years,but i was always in the search and battle to come out of it.i have even seeked help from this website for advise and prayers.I used to read a lot about chastity.As i read,so i used to, try avoiding things that lead me to sin,but the fact is,this bondage is so tough,that u wont be able to avoid sinful occasions also.
I felt frustrated depressed,but i did not want to give up,i surely wanted to become holy some day.weapons that strongly helped me 1.Confession(i meet jesus there to recieve the grace from Him to not repeat it again)2.Mamma mary-Refuge of sinners(Satan fears rosary the most,from my experience regards to all)3.Saints-Relationship with them,asking their intercession,watching videos,reading their life stories greatly helped 4.Spritual warfare prayer,Seeking great help of HOLY SPIRIT becoz only HE could give us the power and grace to say NO to any sin,also attended many prayer meetings to be delivered and filled by Holy spirit.5.Also just not porn can lead u to Mastbtn but also other small sins like Unforgivness,Hatred,laziness,Anger,selfishness etc.when i started praying and avoiding the lateral sins i felt god filled me with the grace to overcome the Big sin.

So we should try to be Holy as a whole,cleansing ourselves nook and corner.
And as we are delivered,for us to be Chaste is a lifetime process,Any sin for that matter,so i have to be watchful in prayer and self discipline.

I Thank you God,You have shown Great Mercy on me.
 
RM26 said:
I struggled with it for around 6 years,but i was always in the search and battle to come out of it.i have even seeked help from this website for advise and prayers.I used to read a lot about chastity.As i read,so i used to, try avoiding things that lead me to sin,but the fact is,this bondage is so tough,that u wont be able to avoid sinful occasions also.
I felt frustrated depressed,but i did not want to give up,i surely wanted to become holy some day.weapons that strongly helped me 1.Confession(i meet jesus there to recieve the grace from Him to not repeat it again)2.Mamma mary-Refuge of sinners(Satan fears rosary the most,from my experience regards to all)3.Saints-Relationship with them,asking their intercession,watching videos,reading their life stories greatly helped 4.Spritual warfare prayer,Seeking great help of HOLY SPIRIT becoz only HE could give us the power and grace to say NO to any sin,also attended many prayer meetings to be delivered and filled by Holy spirit.5.Also just not porn can lead u to Mastbtn but also other small sins like Unforgivness,Hatred,laziness,Anger,selfishness etc.when i started praying and avoiding the lateral sins i felt god filled me with the grace to overcome the Big sin.

So we should try to be Holy as a whole,cleansing ourselves nook and corner.
And as we are delivered,for us to be Chaste is a lifetime process,Any sin for that matter,so i have to be watchful in prayer and self discipline.

I Thank you God,You have shown Great Mercy on me.
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Really helpful that you shared this experience and I agree with all you said.
 
Angelic Warfare Confraternity has a web site Google it. Highly recommend becoming a member for powerful help with purity.
 
I will become a member of the Angelic Warfare Cofraternity this coming Tuesday, I already pray the Rosary and I am under the protection of the blessed St Benedict’s medal. I have been porn free for over a year, although I always battle with conscupicence and occasion of sin, so never feel like you are victorius and undefeatable, look for more spiritual weapons to defeat sin.

Being under the powerful patronage of St. Thomas Aquinas is something I highly recommend, as he defeated temptation and became an angel in the flesh.

I also recommend daily prayer and do “good stuff” and charitable actions, keep your mind occupied in holy, pious thoughts and actions.
God bless and perservere.
 
Go to confession with sincerity
^It might take several times to go, but once you visit the same priest again & again, it will get embarrassing to confess the same sin to the same priest. You want that priest to find improvement, not deja vu.

Sacrifice the mortal sin for God
^Discipline yourself to becoming modest with your words & actions. Remind yourself that you are a “temple of the Holy Spirit”, not meant for pleasure.

Learn what our role to be “temples of the Holy Spirit” means
^Research, study, inquire the terminology found in His teachings. Practice & embrace it.

Love yourself by treating YOU with respect and dignity, not as an object.
^whatever your hopeful vocation: empty selfishness to fill selflessness with Christ
^Tell yourself: I am worth more; this is not of God or from God.

Pray a Hail Mary slowly (try more than once… usually sinful thoughts escape)
^Before the sin starts: sit down, relax with slow breathing, try clearing the mind, pray out loud (makes devil go away b/c he can’t stand Mary-the Mother of God), & tell yourself: I am worth more/I am a temple of the Holy Spirit. (Also, pray for yourself to let the Holy Spirit gradually teach you to refrain, prayers are powerful).

Give up bad movie influences
^Whatever movie, music, etc that triggered the sin, throw it away & stop using it. If the flesh comes into battle with the soul, ask yourself: Will this get me to Heaven? (obviously not, so there’s your answer: rid the toxic chemicals/trash/sin that is filling up what valuable time you could have praying about it instead.

Pray, Pray, Pray. Refrain, Refrain, Refrain.
^Pray & learn to live the chaste life… & you will eventually overcome all that has kept you away from God… trust with a sincere heart, mind, & soul that He will help you thru it all.

I am healed by the grace & mercy of God, an overcomer, live the chaste life, still technically a virgin, strive daily to live selflessly, & love Christ dearly. Without Christ, I truly am nothing. With Christ, we are all modest instruments of His love & mercy meant to give Him glory above all. We all sin in different ways, but the importance is to love the person, hate the sin… forgive & forget… love God the way He created you to be, love yourself, love the life He gave you, embrace His sacrificial love one moment at a time.
 
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