Advice from parents of NICU graduates

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Allegra

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I’m 33 weeks pregnant and I had a fall on the ice. I went in to get checked out and they said everything was fine and I should be out in 20 minutes, let’s just get a blood pressure reading first. And then all heck broke loose. Apparently, my blood pressure shot up to severe level from being normal just a few hours earlier and they immediately began doing all sorts of test for pre-eclampsia. Long story short, I’m in the hospital and this baby is coming early. Based on my research, and assuming she is developing normally, (which there’s no reason to expect otherwise.) she’s right on the cusp of just being in NICU for a few days of observation. If her lungs aren’t quite ready yet, or she is struggling to nurse, it could be more like three weeks. So, I’m looking at as much as five weeks away from my other two children. The hospital we are at is within driving distance to our house and they can visit nightly, but they can’t come into the NICU. I’m hoping that my husband or mom can bring them up for an hour or two a night. Once I"m discharged, they even have a playroom I can take them to, but they won’t be allowed to see their sister. Does any former NICU parent have suggestions of how I can help my kids not be scared and not feel abandoned while I’m gone?. Or even a non NICU parent that’s prone to good ideas!
 
My boys are NICU graduates. I had then at 33 weeks due to pre-eclampsia. They were in the NICU for 2 weeks and are happy healthy 4 year olds now.

I just want you to know that it will be ok. Pray for strength. You are in the right place.

I don’t have experience trying to explain these things to other kids. I have had to travel away from home for an extended period of time. I told my kids I was going on a trip and that we would talk every night. We used FaceTime. They dealt with it very well. Hopefully someone with good ideas will reply soon.

You and baby are in my prayers.
 
I have no experience but I just want to second the Face Time idea. It is one of the blessings of our time for those apart. Prayers offered for you and the baby, Allegra!
 
By the way, my kids are 5 and 3. I’m most worried about the 3yo.
 
We were at Hopkins for 2 weeks when my daughter (4 mos.) needed open heart surgery. The grandparents stayed with the siblings, 4 and 2, and the kids had very little contact with my husband and I except phone calls (this was before smart phones existed). They were pretty much unfazed by the whole thing and have absolutely no recollection of our absence now. I had a lot of mom guilt, of course, about being away from them but sometimes in parenting you just have to fight the biggest battles and count on your support system to handle the little skirmishes. Hugs and prayers!
 
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There must be a children´s book written where the new sibling needs to stay in the hospital with one or both parents. Ask at the local library or the hospital staff who are caring for babies in the NICU.

Is it possible for your other children to see the new baby through a window but not cuddle and spread viruses?
 
I don’t have any advice, I’m just praying for you and the wee one 🙂:pray:t2:❤️
 
My twins were born 9 weeks+ early. As to siblings seeing them, they had none; but friends who wanted to see them were able to look through a glass barrier into the NICU unit (and this was 36 years ago). I would assume the hospital has such available?

If your kids are with someone they know and like, they are likely to express that they miss you, but I would have doubts they will be traumatized. You don’t say how long you are expected to be in the hospital?

I will put you in my prayers.
 
@HeDa is correct - there’s a book for this occasion, I just can’t recall the name.

My daughter was born at 29 weeks. She spent 2 months in NICU. It was a month before anyone could even hold her. These are God’s miracle workshops. You’ll be in the best of hands. Be assured of our prayers. Take it one moment at a time.
 
When my granddaughter was born at 25 weeks, I took my 3 1/2 yo grandson to visit about twice a week. My daughter was there every day for 4 1/2 months. The grandson did great. He saw mommy all gowned up and holding his baby sister through the window and we explained how everything had to be so clean to help his sister. He really didn’t even ask many questions. We were all kind of “this is the way we have to do things right now to help Lily “ and he just accepted it. I think mom worried more than her son did.

Kids are so amazingly adaptable. Just answer their questions, let the kids know you miss them but baby needs you more than they do right now and that it’s temporary. Mostly, trust your instincts! And pass on any and all kisses!
 
My son just turned 10. He was born at 28 weeks.

I was released from the hospital, he stayed in the NICU for about 2 and a half months.

It was very close to home, about 25 minutes. I spent a few hours daily there when my older kids were in school, or often in the evening from 7 to 11 or 12.

My older kids met baby brother only after he was released. They did get to see him from behind a window.

One of his roommates had the same due date as my son, but was born at 32 weeks. They were released from the NICU the same day.

My preemie is my youngest, so by then I had a lot of experience with babies, so caring for a tiny guy wasn’t very overwhelming.

I’ll keep you and baby in my prayers.
 
If you have a cell phone or tablet (and they’re allowed in the NICU), is it an option for you to FaceTime or Skype your children from the NICU so they can see their baby sibling? Could you take some photos to show them at home?
 
Big Brother decided to further complicate things by getting the flu! So, now, they can’t even come around me for several days! Daddy is on his own! Hopefully we’ll have time to Skype tonight.
 
The flu is making the rounds through my house right now. Everyone has had it except daddy (so far). Yuck!

Hope you and baby are well.
 
NICU is going really well. Baby girl is getting all of her baby work done! She’s unloaded the repiratory support, the IV, the feeding tube, and the jaundice light. Now her main job is just to grow. Tonight, she’s finally gotten her first ounce back, so I’m hoping she recovers her birth weight really soon! Assuming she doesn’t dish out any surprises, she may be allowed to go home much earlier than her due date. We are skyping with my other children every night and they are excited to see her. Tomorrow night they are coming up to visit me.
 
Allegra said:
NICU is going really well. Baby girl is getting all of her baby work done! She’s unloaded the repiratory support, the IV, the feeding tube, and the jaundice light. Now her main job is just to grow. Tonight, she’s finally gotten her first ounce back, so I’m hoping she recovers her birth weight really soon! Assuming she doesn’t dish out any surprises, she may be allowed to go home much earlier than her due date. We are skyping with my other children every night and they are excited to see her. Tomorrow night they are coming up to visit me.
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Great to hear your baby daughter is doing well and that her siblings are looking forward to seeing her.
 
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