Advice from sage older parents

[leaner]

Any advice on how to teach a 4yr old modesty without making him feel ashamed or embarrassed (but why do I have to hide my privates? doesn’t everyone have them? – that is the question he asked, and my heart broke a little at his sweet innocence…lol!) – How do you help them understand that privates are private, but nothing to be ashamed of…

this all started in the family locker room at the Y after swim lessons…his little buddy (who has older sibs, so is “sensitive” to this issue) was laughing at him when he just stripped down like it was nothing…the other boy was covering himself, and trying to disappear into the corner while his mom got his suit off. My poor little one didn’t understand why he was being “giggled at” and then asked me the above question…

how do I present the info in a way that will not make him embarrassed of his privates (they’re something to “hide”) while still teaching modesty??

THANKYOU…I feel so out of my depth sometimes!!!

 

[Binney]

Parents need to simply be a good example of modesty.

Robe around the house instead of nude or PJs or underwear.

Dress modestly when out in public. Have a modest poise.

Your children will behave the same way.

If they need correction privately or publicly be gentle but clearly state what the problem is and exactly how to fix it.

 

[leaner]

that’s what we do – we’re both “low key” types…I’m very modest…but he’s just innocent, kwim? To him there’s nothing wrong with naked –

 

[LoneRanger]

don’t major on minors… age will fix…

…i hope…

 

[dwc]

LoneRanger:

don’t major on minors… age will fix…

…i hope…

Ditto. I have a 12 yo, 10 yo and 6 yo. My kids developed their sense of modesty naturally. At 4, nakey was ok and no big deal with just the immediate family around (in the bath, while changing, etc.) As they aged, they automatically became more modest. By 6, the only one who sees the little one nekkid is mom while helping her in the bath. My oldest (girl) is extremely modest in her dress and demeanor. It helps to send them to a good Catholic school where all this in reinforced.

 

[BlestOne]

Amen! They all learn this on their own. Mine are 18, 15, 13, and 9 and each learned modesty in their own time without any prompting. When they were young they all did the whole running around naked thing. Now I have to remind them that I know what parts they have and I have changed their diapers (particularly the 15 yo when I want him to try on clothing and he doesn’t want me to check the waist for fit). Don’t worry, your child will learn modesty, just remind them that the only ones that may see his “privates” are him, his parents, and his doctor (with parents present) to save him from terrible people who exploit children.