Advice from the Confessional: Forgive yourSELF

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A certain person (ahem) went to the Sacrament of Penance face-to-face (unusual for her) and finally told him all of the secrets she’d been keeping in her heart for many years (since her last Confession - which went POORLY and her pride has since kept her from the Sacrament).

Anyway, she sat in awe to hear that this wasn’t a Sacrament about retribution, but one of love of Divine Mercy, and she was right to keep herself from receiving the Eucharist for so many years, for the sins she kept hidden in her heart.

It was amazing to hear how God loved even her. And she cried, and cried, and cried to know this.

For her penance she was given the 5 decades of the rosary (any mysteries she chose) and a Chaplet of Divine Mercy. No problem, although she had kept herself from receiving the Eucharist, she still felt close to Our Lord when she prayed. But the priest also instructed her to forgive herself.

Not the, “You are a new person today, huzzah!” type of forgive yourself, but a VERY seriously look inside of yourself and LET IT GO. Give it to God, for through this Sacrament, He has taken your sins away.

Now, my question is: how does the penitent learn to “let go” as the priest instructed her to? She is fully aware of how unworthy she is before the Lord (think of the Pharisee and the Publican, Luke 18:9-14) and the priest told her that she should be more in the middle – both humble and righteous.

Oy. That’s a lot.

What advice do you give the woman to “let it go?”
How do you accept the awe and mystery of the Sacrament of Reconciliation? I mean, how do you “let it go?

You know that through the Sacrament that you’re free from sin, and you know that God has forgiven you, but how do you begin to let God help you to heal yourself?

(PS the woman is not scrupulous, just looking for advice, thanks.)
 
A certain person (ahem) went to the Sacrament of Penance face-to-face (unusual for her) and finally told him all of the secrets she’d been keeping in her heart for many years (since her last Confession - which went POORLY and her pride has since kept her from the Sacrament).

Anyway, she sat in awe to hear that this wasn’t a Sacrament about retribution, but one of love of Divine Mercy, and she was right to keep herself from receiving the Eucharist for so many years, for the sins she kept hidden in her heart.

It was amazing to hear how God loved even her. And she cried, and cried, and cried to finally - understand this.

For her penance she was given the 5 decades of the rosary (any mysteries she chose) and a Chaplet of Divine Mercy. No problem, although she had kept herself from receiving the Eucharist, she still felt close to Our Lord when she prayed. But the priest also instructed her to forgive herself.

Not the, “You are a new person today, huzzah!” type of forgive yourself, but a VERY seriously look inside of yourself and LET IT GO. Give it to God, for through this Sacrament, He has taken your sins away.

Now, my question is: how does the penitent learn to “let go” as the priest instructed her to? She is fully aware of how unworthy she is before the Lord (think of the Pharisee and the Publican, Luke 18:9-14) and the priest told her that she should be more in the middle – both humble and righteous.

Oy. That’s a lot.

What advice do you give the woman to “let it go?”
How do you accept the awe and mystery of the Sacrament of Reconciliation? I mean, how do you “let it go?

You know that through the Sacrament that you’re free from sin, and you know that God has forgiven you, but how do you begin to let God help you to heal yourself?

(PS the woman is not scrupulous, just looking for advice, thanks.)
 
This is a very good question. I do not have a complete answer however. I was told once we need to recognize grace when it is given to us. The evil one will try to use guilt to thwart the effect of grace within us. If this is true, allowing guilt to remain present, is related to allowing God’s grace to “slip away.” We need to make a conscious effort to forgive ourselves, after having made a good confession, and get on with doing God’s will and generating glory for God.

Pray the rosary daily if you can. This helps a great deal. Our Mother will help.
 
Whenever I found myself beginning to “beat myself up” over past sins already confessed, I made a conscious effort to stop myself as soon as I recognized what I was doing, and THANK GOD FOR HIS MERCY with a big interior smile. After doing this for a while, the remembrance of past sins became an occasion not for getting depressed, but rather for rejoicing and praising God.

It may take a little time; don’t be surprised if it doesn’t happen all at once.

It sounds like your priest confessor is very wise.
 
I agree that this is a process.

I believe that immersing yourself in the things of God, in prayer, scripture, meditations, devotions, all those that focus on the Goodness of God and on his Mercy, will eventually bring you to the place where you really believe it to be true, and to be true for you.

Until then, know you are in process, and that you are not alone in being there! 🙂
 
This is my prayer regarding accepting forgiveness. I don’t know if it’s of use to anyone else

Contrition
God, I have sinned against others, against myself, and against You. I am unworthy to be Your child. I have offended Your goodness and Your dream of who I really am. I may have denied You the joy of blessings that You wish for me and for others through me. You alone know the entire consequences of my failure.

Yet Jesus assures us that You joyfully celebrate my return from sin, and run to welcome and reclaim me as Your own. I want to value myself as Your child, knowing that all worth and holiness comes from You.

In trust, I will not accuse myself for sins already forgiven and absolved, or for temptation if I have not actually sinned. I believe that temptation can be overcome by Your grace, inspiring greater faithfulness to the Gospel and the Sacraments.

Look on those tasks of love and service that I fail to undertake or to complete, and bring them to completion. Please bring out of my failures, such fruits of these new opportunities enhanced beyond all previous expectation, for from our human betrayal of Your divine plan of Creation, Your mercy wrought the magnificent plan of redemption that reverberates through time and eternity!

In Your mercy, please transform into good all that in weakness or ignorance I may spoil. Please give blessing that is abundant beyond original possibility to anyone I ever harm or deprive. May I so belong to You, may I be so transformed by Your love, that my faults no longer are sin or offence in Your sight and can foster nothing that impedes Your will.

This, my soul in trusting confidence implores.

Trishie.
The reference for the second sentence & the first sentence in the second paragraph of course comes from the prodigal son parable in the gospels.
 
As you posted virtually the same post twice, apart from gently amusing me,you make me search again for answer!

“If the greatest sinner should repent at the moment of his death, and draw his last breath in an act of love, neither the manygraces he had abused, nor the multiplied crimes he had committed, would stand in his way. Our Lord would see nothing, count nothing, but the sinner’s last prayer, and without delay He would receive him into the arms of His mercy.” (Saint Therese of Lisieux)

“I am no longer trying for perfection by my own efforts…but I only want the perfection that comes through faith in Christ, and is from God and based on faith.” [Philippians 3:9]

“Have mercy on me, O God in Your goodness,
in Your great tenderness, wipe away my faults;
wash me clean of my guilt,
purify me from my sin.

For I am well aware of my faults,
I have my sin constantly in mind,
having sinned against none other than You,
having done what You regard as wrong.

You are just when You pass sentence on me,
blameless when You give judgement.
You know I was born guilty,
a sinner from the moment of conception.

Yet since You love sincerity of heart,
teach me the secrets of wisdom.
Purify me with hyssop until I am clean;
wash me until I am whiter than snow.

Instil some joy and gladness into me,
let the bones You have rushed rejoice again.
Hide Your face from me sins,
wipe out all my guilt.

Be my saviour again, renew my joy,
keep my spirit steady and willing;
and I shall teach transgressors the way to You,
and sinners will return.

Save me from death, God my saviour,
and my tongue will acclaim Your righteousness;
Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will speak out Your praise.

Sacrifice gives You no pleasure,
were I to offer holocaust, You would not have it.
My sacrifice is this broken spirit,
You will not scorn this crushed and broken heart.” (Psalm 51)
 
And again…
We had all gone astray like sheep, each taking his own way,
and God burdened Him with the sins of us all.
Harshly dealt with, He bore it humbly…
God has been pleased to crush Him with suffering…
And through Him, what God wishes shall be done.
His soul’s anguish over He shall see the light and be content.
By His sufferings shall my servant justify many,
…for surrendering Himself to death
and letting Himself be taken for a sinner,
while He was bearing the faults of many
and praying all the while for sinners.” [Isaiah 53:4-6 10-12]

“Do not be afraid, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.” [Psalm 43:1] “I shall cleanse you of all your defilement and all your idols. I shall give you a new heart…I shall put my spirit in you…You shall be my people and I shall be your God.” [Ezekiel 36:25-26, 29] “I will smelt away your dross in the furnace; I will remove all your base metal from you.” [Isaiah 1:25]
 
You assure us through Isaiah, our God,

**“I have dispelled your faults like a cloud
your sins like a mist
Come back to me, for I have redeemed you.” **Isaiah 44:22]

Furthermore, You proclaim:
“Happy those whose crimes are forgiven, whose sins are blotted out; happy the man whom the Lord considers sinless.” [Psalm 31:1-2]

For through Your Son, You have “cancelled every record of the debt that we had to pay; He has done away with it by nailing it to the cross.” [Colossians 2:14-15]

Therefore, our God it is not presumptuous to ask that we may be healed of our faults and freed from our sin. Indeed, You have said:
**"No need to recall the past,
no need to think about what was before.
See I am doing a new deed,
even now, it comes to light; can you not see it?
Yes, I am making a road in the wilderness,
paths in the wild.” [Isaiah 43:18-[/COLOR]19]

Although we must strive through the Spirit to walk the way of Your Son, You assure us that we are not alone or dependent upon our efforts alone:

**“For I, Yahweh, your God,
I am holding you by the right hand;
I tell you, do not be afraid, I will help you.
Do not be afraid…poor worm…
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer.” **[Isaiah 41:13-14]

OK dear one, have I convinced you yet! Trishie**
 
Mod -
I accidentally posted this question twice; would you please consolidate these threads? THANK YOU!
 
OK, dearest mods, could you please consolidate this post with the TWO named Advice from the Confessional: Forgive yourSELF.

That’sTHREE unintentional posts! Um…my bad.

Every time I lost power to my computer, I did not know I was actually posting.

😦

Thank you!
 
Miserissima said:
Now, my question is: how does the penitent learn to “let go” as the priest instructed her to?
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Hi Miserissima. I recently had a similar experience… where, by the grace of the Holy Spirit… I was able to make a good Confession and pour out many, many long years of things I had kept inside. Oceans of tears were shed… even though, I wasn’t as courageous (as the OP? 😉 )… and made use of the screen.

But after granting me absolution… Father gently told me… “Now, you are not to bring these things up again”. I took this… as a direct command from Our Lord, Himself and affirmation that He HAS truly forgiven me. I believe this, because we are taught that the Sacrament of Reconciliation is a personal encounter with Our Merciful Lord. The priest is there, representing Jesus Himself. The voice of forgiveness, which we all hear in the Confessional is TRULY that of Jesus.

I would say then, that (after the Eucharist) faith in Jesus… is our greatest consolation and that which will enable us, to “let go” of forgiven sins… and walk forward with our lives as we attempt to truly be His disciples. I hope this helps, in some way. God bless.

(p.s. the devil will try very hard, to make us believe that Our Lord could NEEEEVER forgive us our sins. That is a LIE. Don’t listen to it. When we repent, and seek the Sacrament of Reconciliation… and ammend our lives… Jesus DOES truly forgive us).
 
My first confession at my EF chapel was much like that. Sure, I’d been to Reconciliation a few times, but I hadn’t been in years. I took advantage of those communal penance services and got the blanket absolution and went on my merry way.

When I went to confession for the first time and really took the sacrament seriously it was the most beautiful experience of my life. I go at least once a month now and I feel just as wonderful every time.
 
Good post. I went to Confession today.

Sometimes I leave very happy, other times very sombre and serious. Today’s a serious one.

I agree with the idea of trying your best to go once a month. I helps so much more, keeps your focus, keeps you on track. It’s best that way.
 
I’m not sure if this is the case with you, but I was once told that I should not confuse clinging to a forgiven sin with remorse. It’s fine to be remorseful about past sins, especially if they affected others, as long as the remorse encourages positive actions, such as striving in charity.

:blessyou:
 
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