Advice I recieved from a priest

[Mamanurse]

My husband is a non-catholic, religion hating man. We have been using NFP for the past several months and ended up getting pregnant shortly after our youngest turned one. My husband was not very happy about this and recently has told me he is considering getting a vasectomy. I was advised by a friend to call this priest from NFP outreach. We spoke on the phone for a while and he told me that if my husband were to get a vasectomy that we could no longer have sex.

I was kind of surprised by this as I had always thought that while it was my duty to inform my spouse of my feelings and beliefs on this matter, that it was only his sin. I was just wondering if anyone had heard of this too or was this a little extreme advice from this priest?

(I did inform my husband of what this priest said and of course he was disgusted and eventually just told me that he will have to use NFP. He still detests the Catholic church and feels that NFP is just another form of BC. So at least for the time being a vas is not on the table.)

 

[The_Bucket]

I was kind of surprised by this as I had always thought that while it was my duty to inform my spouse of my feelings and beliefs on this matter, that it was only his sin. I was just wondering if anyone had heard of this too or was this a little extreme advice from this priest?

You’re right and he’s wrong on this one, though perhaps it was a result of the conversation going on long and wires getting crossed or something like that. I always like to give the benefit of the doubt but I was not there.

In this case, you’re spot on but you really have to object as opposed to being totally cool with his vasectomy and saying “whatever, it’s his sin and not mine. Plus, no more kids!”

On a totally unrelated note, I’ve noticed a huge number of CAF posters (or at least ones that start threads like this) are married to people who are either non religious or actively dislike the faith. And it’s not always women married to Catholic-hating men. Why is this the case?

 

[1ke]

Please talk to your own pastor.

This priest is not correct, at least according to the document Vademecum for Confessors.

However, if he has agreed to use NFP going forwards, please continue down that path and chart carefully if you have a serious reason to abstain.

 

[St_Francis]

You’re right and he’s wrong on this one, though perhaps it was a result of the conversation going on long and wires getting crossed or something like that. I always like to give the benefit of the doubt but I was not there.

In this case, you’re spot on but you really have to object as opposed to being totally cool with his vasectomy and saying “whatever, it’s his sin and not mine. Plus, no more kids!”

On a totally unrelated note, I’ve noticed a huge number of CAF posters (or at least ones that start threads like this) are married to people who are either non religious or actively dislike the faith. And it’s not always women married to Catholic-hating men. Why is this the case?

Sometimes people marry under one set of circumstances and later chage. So two nominal Christians marry, one later becomes more serious and converts or reverts to Catholicism.

 

[Mamanurse]

Sometimes people marry under one set of circumstances and later chage. So two nominal Christians marry, one later becomes more serious and converts or reverts to Catholicism.

That is pretty much what happened in our case. We met and married when I was not a practicing Catholic, my family didn’t even attend our wedding as it wasn’t in the church. We did, however, get our marriage blessed a few years ago and at that time he told my priest that he was open to life, but knew in his heart that was only true until his “quota” of children had been met. It is truly a struggle being in a marriage like this and wouldn’t recommend it to anyone.

 

[Mamanurse]

You’re right and he’s wrong on this one, though perhaps it was a result of the conversation going on long and wires getting crossed or something like that. I always like to give the benefit of the doubt but I was not there.

In this case, you’re spot on but you really have to object as opposed to being totally cool with his vasectomy and saying “whatever, it’s his sin and not mine. Plus, no more kids!”

On a totally unrelated note, I’ve noticed a huge number of CAF posters (or at least ones that start threads like this) are married to people who are either non religious or actively dislike the faith. And it’s not always women married to Catholic-hating men. Why is this the case?

He knows full well that I object, and I am not ‘cool’ if he would decide to get a vasectomy. I am completely fine with having more kids so being ‘cool’ with it is definitely not my attitude and I didn’t mean to make it sound like I was. I am completely ashamed to think that my own husband is so anti family, it makes me sick.

 

[Chantal25]

((((Mamanurse))))), i pray for you to find the answer that you need.

Consult with another priest. Pray God to guide you to the perfect priest and to guide him to speak on behalf of God through the Holy spirit.

Love and blessings to you!

 

[gmarie21]

I have known a few people who have been advised as you have, and each was advised by different priests. go and talk to another priest, but try to not shop around until you get the answer that you want (and it is still possible to find priests who will give you answers you want but may not be in line with Church teaching - for example, ten years ago I had a priest tell me in confession to just have less pre-marital sex than I was having ).