Advice needed-coworker

[sammi]

please refile if this is the wrong forum ty

i have a person at work who is bothering me

i work in retail and work at a register and she is there for other reasons-will explain if necessary but i dont know if it is

she hangs around me and i am nice to her
she obviously wants to pass the time

but she is crude and rude and offensive

she has insulted me lately as well

i want to keep the peace (i am a bit scared of her) but also want her away from me

thanks and hi to all


mi

 

[1ke]

Talk to your manager and explain that you are being harrassed and want it stopped. Talk to the Human Resources department for your company as well.

 

[gam3rchic]

I would say take it to the boss, and if the boss is no help (as I have worked for many whimpy bosses who will not touch annoying coworkers) then often if you stand up to these people, they back down quickly. Usually, these people are pretty whimpy themselves and if you say something firm, not mean, like “i’m sorry, but what you are saying is offensive to me and I do not find this appropriate” or “i’m tired of putting up with you insulting me, I have done nothing to you to deserve this treatment, please leave me alone” or something to this effect, they will back right down. I’ve had success with this tactic when the boss is useless.

 

[BlestOne]

I am a big advocate of going to the person first before the boss when possible. I would let her know subtly at first and if that doesn’t work, then verbally that you don’t wish to be around her crudeness and rudeness…

How do I mean that? Well, when my kids don’t like what I say… or think it is rude they just say ouch. It tells me I am being harsh about something. Or how about subtly giving her a better role model by starting a conversation about being nice to people and how good it feels?

If small clues don’t work… tell her… that was rude, or I don’t think that was necessary…etc…

and if that doesn’t work, avoidance of topics that she is most rude about. Then if all those things fail… talk to the boss.

 

[sammi]

thanks everyone for the great advice

i am going to TRY to distance myself from her-i think she “uses” me to pass the time - she has actually said that i make her day go by faster

so i am going to be less accomodating and friendly and maybe i will bore her enough for her to go away

otherwise-yes the boss is the next step

she has already been told not to talk to the people while they are working and it didnt help…

wish me luck cause i cant stand listening to her talk about very personal and immoral behavior (i am not perfect either but i do not brag about it) interspersed with a swear every other word