Advice needed

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doniker

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I know this topic has been discussed on this Forum and I am not sure this is the right place but I am struggling with masturbation.

I am a 53 year old married man. My wife has medical issues so we don’t have sex. I just got sober 5 months ago and have become spiritual again.

I have only masturbated once during the last two weeks and I felt awful doing so. I used to do it almost everyday when I was drinking.

I know it is a sin and I am trying to do the right thing but unless I “do it” I will dwell on it. If I “do it” the thoughts will leave my mind for several days.

I have been praying for God’s help. Is their anyway I can relieve this stress without sinning?
 
You need 90-120 days sober from masturbation for your brain to adjust to healthy amounts of dopamine. Every time you masturbate you feed a fake need and only make it harder to stop the next time. It’s an addiction and should be treated as such.

I highly recommend arlingtondiocese.org/documents/bought-with-a-price-anti-pornography-letter/ which not only discusses pornography but describes what authentic love is. We often identify love primarily and even exclusively with receiving sexual pleasure which is not reality. Love is giving yourself to another person and willing their good (guiding them to heaven).

Also check out this: forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=1045624
 
I completely agree with the advice others gave you. I only wanted to comment this line: "
doniker said:
I know it is a sin and I am trying to do the right thing but unless I “do it” I will dwell on it. If I “do it” the thoughts will leave my mind for several days.
Is their anyway I can relieve this stress without sinning?
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The devil bothers you with you this “stress” and suggests you to sin in order to avoid having those thoughts all the time. I know how you feel, unfortunately. But this is a trap, for the more you sin, the more addicted you become. Keep fighting and resisting. Many things could help you: more intensive prayer life, reading spiritual books. Go to church, confess often, go to communion often (of course, after having confessed mortal sins). Fast and make some sacrifices. All this can help you, because it will strenghten you spiritually, so the strength of temptations will weaken. But be aware that this will probably not happen instantly, you will have to fight for some time. The most important thing is: decide, whatever happens, however the thoughts or emotions might be strong, NOT to sin. Rather to die. If the fall happens, don’t disturb yourself, confess and keep fighting. But this firm resolution not to sin is very important. Even if you have those thoughts for the whole day sometimes, persevere. Fighting a great temptation is a very meritous act, and you will be rewarded in heaven for every temptation you overcame. The greater the temptation, the greater the merit, if you fight it well.

If a fall happens, go to confession as soon as you can. If you can confess the same day you fell, that would be great. Not only does confession clean us from sin, it also reduces the strength of passion and gives us strength for fight.
 
Reflect on your life, and decide if you would have gone to confession numerous times for this sin. IF this sin is highly repetitive you must determine if it is an addiction. IF it is, go to confession and confess it as an addiction to reduce culpability. Thus, every time you do it, it is not a mortal sin. Also, go to confession regularly for anything you can think of that you have committed more than three times, naming the sin as repetative. Once these sins turn to grace, you are in better shape spiritually to address other recurring sins. Remember, Jesus Christ has the power to make even dark sins white as wool.
 
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