Advice on dealing with someone who is making a mistake

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Almostthere1

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Hi. I have a family member who has just revealed that they are divorcing their spouse and moving with one of their kids back to my area. She is leaving one of the kids behind… the younger one who is 4. So this is splitting the two siblings apart as well. It breaks my heart to think about this poor child not having his mommy. It’s not like she is moving a few hours away either. It’s at least a 2-3 day drive. I’m just having a hard time understanding. I have not really been in contact with her for many years. She is wanting to visit and have a relationship with my family and me. I’m having a hard time discerning how to approach the situation. My husband thinks I should just stay away from her. I want to see her but I don’t know how I can pretend to not be very sad about what she’s choosing to do to her family. I don’t know all the details but she makes it sound like husband is a good guy it’s just that she only has one life and needs to live it her way. Sounds incredibly selfish to me. 😦 thanks for any advice!
 
Do you know if they have tried family therapy? Or speaking to a priest of they are Catholic?
I think all you can do is pray that she doesn’t do anything too hasty.
 
As with any friend or family member, it’s their life and all you can do is be honest with them about your feelings and let them live their live as they see fit.
 
I wouldn’t get involved until you know what’s really going on. It sounds odd she only got one kid… Something doesn’t sound right.
 
Choosing one child over another cant have good repucussions later in life I don’t think.My first reaction was …wow…
Praying.
 
First, you should pray for her.
Second, I suspect there is more to this story than what you’re getting right now.
People suddenly going through a divorce often have some reason they may not share right away.

In my experience, women going through a divorce will often be seeking out friends to use as a support network, often just for listening to them talk and making supportive statements. If you are not comfortable being that person for your friend, be kind but honest, and let her know. Be prepared for this friendship (which honestly does not sound terribly strong from your description) to end in that case.

If on the other hand you would be comfortable inviting her over for dinner or including her in activities once in a while, feel free to do that but set limits as needed. Some people going through a divorce get a little nuts. I had a very good friend who split with her longtime husband (no kids involved as they were not able to have them) and she immediately seemed to become a cougar on the make. Apparently her spouse had made her feel unattractive or rejected her in some way so she was making up for lost time. I wasn’t comfortable with the behavior as it had been many years since I was interested in pursuing men and I had moved on to different activities that I thought were also more suitable for my age group, not to mention I was and am still happily married. She figured out quickly I was not a good party pal so now I rarely hear from her.
 
Thank you everyone. There is some really good advice here! I really appreciate it!
 
Pray for her, of course. When you meet her, I would ask questions. Like, why leave a child behind? Do you think this will have effects on him/her in the future? How will it affect the relationship between the siblings?
She does sound selfish, that’s a shame. Perhaps you can help her see that caring for her children will bring her greater satisfaction in the long run than chasing her dreams.
 
Scripture tells us to stay away from people who seem weird especially if they have made mistakes or decisions we would not have made. No, wait, that is not at all what we are commanded to do.

Love. Be Christ to this woman and her child.
 
She is extending her hand and wanting a relationship with you, so I would relish that opportunity and talk to her, tell her how you feel. Communication is the key and you don’t want to close friends and especially family members out of your life. Life is just way too short for this matters.
 
I will continue to pray for her family and hope that the marriage can be saved and she will decide to postpone the move. I talked to my grandmother who knows a bit more about the situation. It sounds like the other daughter will be going eventually moving too so that is good.
 
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