Advice on getting over a relationship

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Southern86

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Hello I am new here and need some advice. How do you get over a relationship?

My girlfriend and I just broke up. We met three weeks ago and I wanted to take it slow but she seemed so great we ended up together quick. But after a week or so I discovered that she seems to be addicted to talking about sex (it was long distance).

I already new when I met her that she had come out of a relationship last summer where she said there was sexual abuse. But after just a week she kept talking about wanting to do that type of stuff with me. So I broke it off.

I feel that breaking up was right (tell me if I was wrong to do so). But now I am so lonely. I really enjoyed having a girlfriend. Other then her talking about that a lot she was nice. And we had a ton in common.

How do I get over being lonely? I am so longingly wanting to find my future wife but I cant. I know I am only 22 but being single is really hard. I even thought about just talking to my ex and us slowly starting from square one but I probably shouldn’t. Any advice?
 
This relationship was 3 weeks old?

Its hard to cultiviate a relationship in that amount of time, but lets say ya did.

I know you miss her, but it will pass. It has been my experience break ups use this timeline to get over. However how long you were together, half it. So if you were with a girl for 2 years, then broke up, gonna take about a year to get past it.

In your case you’re looking at about 10 days, but I dunno if the formula applies in 3 week relationships.

At 22 you’re still very young, you need to get out and be proactive and meet a young lady whose not so obsessed about talking about sex.

I think you did the right thing phasing her out, now is no time to get weak and call.
 
Thanks for the advice. I didn’t mean for it to happen fast. I even told her when we met that I wanted to take things slow. But acted so interested in me. And seemed to care and I have not had that since my last gf back in 2006.

There was so many nice things about her. I know I shouldn’t miss her but I do. I just feel very lonely and empty. I went to confession so I feel some better cos I know my soul is clean. But I still miss her.
 
I really miss how she would call and text alot during the day. And I miss having her call me in the mornings to wake me. And I miss talking for a couple of hours before bed.
 
**Three weeks isn’t a relationship. **It’s a crush. It also sounds like you are lonely and so this filled a void in you.

The best thing you can do is go out into the world and give in service to others. Marriage isn’t about what you get, it’s about what you give. Marriage is a vocation of service. So, if you are looking for a girlfriend to fill up what is lacking inside you-- you are looking for something that no girlfriend can ever do.

Find yourself first. Become happy with who you are, your own company, and THEN look to share that with another.

You should date a girl because you want to be in service to her, and marry her because you both want to be in service to God and any children you have together.

Marriage is a vocation, not something keep you from being lonely. Choose unwisely and you will be lonely **in **your marriage.
 
You weren’t wrong at all in breaking up.

If you feel lonely, just go out to the mall or the beach or just somewhere with a few friends and hang out! Being with friends and having a job builds a lot of character! Sooner or later, you will definitely find the right girl. It just takes time and patience.

Ironically Yours, Blade and Blood
 
Southern86 said:
I really miss how she would call and text alot during the day. And I miss having her call me in the mornings to wake me. And I miss talking for a couple of hours before bed.
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This is not a relationship. This is you being dependent on someone else for your value and self-esteem. You sound like you may be mildly depressed.
 
1ke said:
This is not a relationship. This is you being dependent on someone else for your value and self-esteem. You sound like you may be mildly depressed.
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That’s silly. Three weeks is not a long relationship, but missing the person you’re with calling you and talking to you is not being “dependent.” It’s enjoying someone else as a companion.
 
Southern86 said:
Hello I am new here and need some advice. How do you get over a relationship?

My girlfriend and I just broke up. We met three weeks ago and I wanted to take it slow but she seemed so great we ended up together quick. But after a week or so I discovered that she seems to be addicted to talking about sex (it was long distance).

I already new when I met her that she had come out of a relationship last summer where she said there was sexual abuse. But after just a week she kept talking about wanting to do that type of stuff with me. So I broke it off.

I feel that breaking up was right (tell me if I was wrong to do so). But now I am so lonely. I really enjoyed having a girlfriend. Other then her talking about that a lot she was nice. And we had a ton in common.

How do I get over being lonely? I am so longingly wanting to find my future wife but I cant. I know I am only 22 but being single is really hard. I even thought about just talking to my ex and us slowly starting from square one but I probably shouldn’t. Any advice?
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You did the right thing. That took a lot of bravery, and staying close to Christ, to break it off with her. I’m sorry things didn’t work out, and sorry that she felt the need to bring up sex like that.😦

I think a good way to put this behind you and move forward is to pray for this girl. To pray that God will help you through your loneliness, and possibly volunteer your time towards something that is near and dear to your heart. If you have quiet time alone, and feel the need to cry–just allow yourself that time. Even though this was a short ‘relationship,’ you feel a loss. Loss requires some grieving time, and allow yourself that time to get past this. I think though if you involve yourself in something that is sacrificing, you will get past your lonely feelings, when you find that others need you out there…that there are things you could be doing with your time to help others. You might end up meeting a great girl who shares your passion for helping others, as well.

I’ll keep you in my prayers.
 
Southern86 said:
Hello I am new here and need some advice. How do you get over a relationship?

My girlfriend and I just broke up. We met three weeks ago and I wanted to take it slow but she seemed so great we ended up together quick. But after a week or so I discovered that she seems to be addicted to talking about sex (it was long distance).

I already new when I met her that she had come out of a relationship last summer where she said there was sexual abuse. But after just a week she kept talking about wanting to do that type of stuff with me. So I broke it off.

I feel that breaking up was right (tell me if I was wrong to do so). But now I am so lonely. I really enjoyed having a girlfriend. Other then her talking about that a lot she was nice. And we had a ton in common.

How do I get over being lonely? I am so longingly wanting to find my future wife but I cant. I know I am only 22 but being single is really hard. I even thought about just talking to my ex and us slowly starting from square one but I probably shouldn’t. Any advice?
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Advice?

Yesterday in class the vocation of marriage was covered. It is a high school class. A young newlywed couple (4 months today) came to visit. The couple married 70 years could not make it and I will have to invite them back on a later date.

Before having a discussion with our guests (oh, the kids in class are mostly 14 and 15 yrs old) we played a game. On the board I wrote the 7 deadly sins. The game was to see if the kids could come up with the 7 opposite virtues. (My kids did not do to well at the game. So it was definately worthwhile learning experience.)

Having worked for the past 3 1/2 years with the young couple I was confident of their good character. They are a good example to all kids. During the discussion as my young friends answered questions all 7 of the virtues were given in their stories, but not one of the 7 deadly sins.

So as you go about looking for your prospective bride I would humbly suggest you ponder the 7 virtues and see how a young woman’s behavior matches with them. Is she ‘virtuous’ or full of ‘vices’?

Okay, now see if you can do better than my students (they got 2 right, I think we will have a quiz next Monday:eek: )?
  1. Lust
  2. Gluttony
  3. Greed
  4. Sloth
  5. Wrath
  6. Envy
  7. Pride
Answers were taken from this link:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seven_deadly_sins#Catholic_virtues
 
Southern86 said:
Hello I am new here and need some advice. How do you get over a relationship?

How do I get over being lonely? I am so longingly wanting to find my future wife but I cant. I know I am only 22 but being single is really hard. I even thought about just talking to my ex and us slowly starting from square one but I probably shouldn’t. Any advice?
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Dont talk with the ex! I know exactly how you feel. Trust me you will meet someone when the time is right! I used to pray novenas after breaking up with an ex petitioning about meeting my future husband. I prayed every single day for a year and a half and you know what… we met! Perfect match and if I had settled for an ex it would have been a huge mistake on my part for not being patient. We were less than compatible for each other but I did think about calling him up because I was lonely.

For the mean time keep yourself busy during the day. Exercise, read inspirational books, go to adoration.

Peace!
 
Pray about it, focus on Christ for your companionship.

When I say pray about it, I mean to ask Christ to help with your loneliness etc… but also ask Him to help you know that you did the right thing.

Did you tell her why you were breaking things off? If not I believe that’s a problem. How can you help her grow if you weren’t honest?

Perhaps she was lead to you because you were the person who could eventually get her not to focus on sex all the time, after what you suggest she has been through, that could be a big deal.

Remember that Christ forgives, and expects us to do the same.

I’m NOT saying you should call her and start a relationship up… but I do believe you need to pray about it. If you have an adoration chapel spend some time in front of the Blessed Sacrament - praying, reading, thinking whatever.

I do agree with the other posters that 3 weeks really isn’t that much of a relationship but I believe you need to make sure that you broke it off for the right reasons so that she might be able to see a little bit of goodness from the time you guys spent together.

This may seem a little odd but you know people can chance, especially when they are still young. After my 20 year HS reunion many of us have gotten together on some social nw sites. I have found it quite interesting that some of the people who were the “wildest” ended up becoming the best moms and the most devout (Catholics and Protestants) while some of the “good” people have been divorced 3 times…

Again, read what we have to say, but pray, and listen to what He is telling you.

Joe
 
Southern86 said:
How do I get over being lonely? I am so longingly wanting to find my future wife but I cant. I know I am only 22 but being single is really hard. I even thought about just talking to my ex and us slowly starting from square one but I probably shouldn’t. Any advice?
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Get involved at your parish. Find anything that you could volunteer to do. Ask your pastor about it. Also, spend some times exercising. This can help you too.

Besides that, attending mass and more prayer.
 
Find other things to do. Eventually you’ll find another girl, but never rush it though. Pray for your future wife and she will find you one day.
 
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