Advice please!!

[nana3]

Some of you may think this silly, but it is bothering me and I don’t know if it is pride or hurt feelings or that “they” are wrong. This goes with some of my other threads, but I need to know what to do in this one instant for I have prayed and don’t know yet what to do.

Here it is. We had informed my dd’s second grade teacher and principal the teachings of the Church of when we enter and exit a church with the Tabernacle in it. They say one should bow and we say genuflect and we asked that our dd be allowed to genuflect. This cause them to be angry and I had to go to the pastor. That was resolved, so we thought.

This Saturday we were at First Communion rehearsal and we all process in with our children and when we reach the altar, we bow all together. We don’t have a problem with this for it is a procession and my dh is a reader and he does this when he processes in with the priest. Anyway, the DRE came directly to us and said, “I know you insist on genuflection, but on this day could you do it in the back of the church and bow up here.” We said of course. I was upset that she felt the need to tell us that. If we would have genuflected or asked to genuflect, then that would be different, but we bowed and didn’t have any problems with this. This same DRE told us that the kids had to receive in the hands when I asked if they had the option of the tongue. My dd’s second grade teacher did say today to the class that they had the choice of tongue or hand.

Should I talk to the DRE or email her on what she said and didn’t have to say? I will be talking to the Pastor about this genuflection thing, but it is more related to what the school is teaching on it and not the action of this DRE. If things get said with the Pastor of this DRE also listening to what the school is saying about us falsely, I think she would have liked us talking to her first, but then I don’t know.

Please be aware that this school does not believe that one should genuflect when entering and exiting the church with a tabernacle. I told them what the GIRM says and they say that it is open to how you interpret it. I told them what the priest said and their answer to that was that each priest would give his opinion and have different answers. NOw you know why we are upset and going to the priest about all this, but what about the DRE, should I talk to her?

 

[kage_ar]

Seems the DRE is giving the proper instruction re: genuflection.

From the G I R M (bold added)

1. A genuflection, made by bending the right knee to the ground, signifies adoration, and therefore it is reserved for the Most Blessed Sacrament, as well as for the Holy Cross from the solemn adoration during the liturgical celebration on Good Friday until the beginning of the Easter Vigil.

During Mass, three genuflections are made by the priest celebrant: namely, after the showing of the host, after the showing of the chalice, and before Communion. Certain specific features to be observed in a concelebrated Mass are noted in their proper place (cf. above, nos. 210-251).

If, however, the tabernacle with the Most Blessed Sacrament is present in the sanctuary, the priest, the deacon, and the other ministers genuflect when they approach the altar and when they depart from it, but not during the celebration of Mass itself.

Otherwise all who pass before the Most Blessed Sacrament genuflect, unless they are moving in procession.

Ministers carrying the processional cross or candles bow their heads instead of genuflecting.

 

[newf]

I know you are trying to do the right thing, but I think you make a big mistake to use your little daughter to implement your interpretation whether or not she should bow or genuflect and whether or not she gets communion in the hand or tongue.

When in class, why can’t you let her just go along with all the other kids? I think you are placing a heavy burden on your daughter by making her be different from her classmates in this way.

You could teach your child to do communion in her mouth and genuflect when she is with you, and let her do the other way when she is with her class.

I seriously would not die on this hill.

And I think you would do well to try to offer your assistance and support to the DRE in other areas so she will come to think of you as on her side and not her adversary…as you seem to be right now.

 

[puzzleannie]

the pastor, not the DRE, says what happens in Church during Mass, whether the local custom is to bow or genuflect, whether or not the children are to receive in the hand etc. Politely suggest the DRE have the pastor address the group and instruct them.

 

[nana3]

Seems the DRE is giving the proper instruction re: genuflection.

From the G I R M (bold added)

1. A genuflection, made by bending the right knee to the ground, signifies adoration, and therefore it is reserved for the Most Blessed Sacrament, as well as for the Holy Cross from the solemn adoration during the liturgical celebration on Good Friday until the beginning of the Easter Vigil.

During Mass, three genuflections are made by the priest celebrant: namely, after the showing of the host, after the showing of the chalice, and before Communion. Certain specific features to be observed in a concelebrated Mass are noted in their proper place (cf. above, nos. 210-251).

If, however, the tabernacle with the Most Blessed Sacrament is present in the sanctuary, the priest, the deacon, and the other ministers genuflect when they approach the altar and when they depart from it, but not during the celebration of Mass itself.

Otherwise all who pass before the Most Blessed Sacrament genuflect, unless they are moving in procession.

Ministers carrying the processional cross or candles bow their heads instead of genuflecting.

I agree with all this and the DRE and the school are the ones who say no to genuflection. They say bow only. They told me, since our Tabernacle is on the left side of the church, that when you are on the left side you genuflect, but when on the right side you bow. This is against the above. I think you miss understood, the DRE is against the genuflection. The pastor is for what is stated above. I quoted her and the school G.I.R.M # 233 which says,“If there is a Tabernacle with the Blessed Sacrament in the sanctuary, a genuflection is made before and after Mass and whenever anyone passes in front of the Blessed Sacrament.”

We are not arguing the bowing when we process into the church and come to the altar. I can understand that. She was referring to us being the “genuflection family” when we enter and exit a church with the Tabernacle present.

 

[katieq]

Anyway, the DRE came directly to us and said, “I know you insist on genuflection, but on this day could you do it in the back of the church and bow up here.” We said of course. I was upset that she felt the need to tell us that. If we would have genuflected or asked to genuflect, then that would be different, but we bowed and didn’t have any problems with this.

Should I talk to the DRE or email her on what she said and didn’t have to say? I will be talking to the Pastor about this genuflection thing, but it is more related to what the school is teaching on it and not the action of this DRE. If things get said with the Pastor of this DRE also listening to what the school is saying about us falsely, I think she would have liked us talking to her first, but then I don’t know.

If I was in the position of the DRE, and we had had conversations (it sounds like many) on which we disagreed…specifically on this issue of genuflection, I would have mentioned the same thing to you. She may not habe been paying attention to you when you approached the Tabernacle. She may have done it to cover her bases for the actual event. It appears (from what you had written) that she did not say it in an inappropriate way, nor did she say anything untrue (you do believe in geneuflecting). It does not seem in this instance that she did anything offensive. I’m sure that past experience colors both of your and her exchanges with each other.

If things get said with the Pastor of this DRE also listening to what the school is saying about us falsely, I think she would have liked us talking to her first, but then I don’t know.

What do you mean here?

Please be aware that this school does not believe that one should genuflect when entering and exiting the church with a tabernacle. I told them what the GIRM says and they say that it is open to how you interpret it. I told them what the priest said and their answer to that was that each priest would give his opinion and have different answers. NOw you know why we are upset and going to the priest about all this, but what about the DRE, should I talk to her?

I don’t think this hhould have any bearing on whether or not you speak to the DRE about her comment to you. It is a seperate topic. (Though important)

God bless!

 

[nana3]

I know you are trying to do the right thing, but I think you make a big mistake to use your little daughter to implement your interpretation whether or not she should bow or genuflect and whether or not she gets communion in the hand or tongue.

When in class, why can’t you let her just go along with all the other kids? I think you are placing a heavy burden on your daughter by making her be different from her classmates in this way.

You could teach your child to do communion in her mouth and genuflect when she is with you, and let her do the other way when she is with her class.

I seriously would not die on this hill.

And I think you would do well to try to offer your assistance and support to the DRE in other areas so she will come to think of you as on her side and not her adversary…as you seem to be right now.

I am not “using our daughter.” The Church not me teaches that when you enter a church and exit a church with the Tabernacle present that you genuflect and not bow. This school, which is Catholic, is not teaching what the CAtholic Church teaches and then get mad at us for trying to teach this to our child and then do as you did, blame us for confusing her for she doesn’t know who is telling the truth, the school or us. I want her not to follow the crowd just for following them. They are wrong and the pastor also had to correct them on it and they still say that is his opinion. As far as the hand vs the tongue, she is going to do the hand because that is what the class is doing and they are afraid to be unite. I can always teach her later when I homeschool.

The DRE and I are friends. She is not aware of what has been going on between the school and I. She was just told my my dd teacher that we were the ones to make the class genuflect. That is not the same when processing in. She calls on my dh a lot to do the readings for her First Communion services. She is not think, we are her adversary. My question was is should I tell her how it made us both feel that she said what she said without knowing the whole story? If we would made a big scene and whated to genuflect, then yes, she need to talk to us, but we were fine with bowing at this point for this reason and she knows this for my dh is a reader as I said. I just thought she would like us to talk to her in case her name came up when we go see the pastor. The pastor has to know what the school is teaching and that his order for the genuflection is viewed as his opinion and now Church teachings. They are teaching a lot of students and telling them wrong.

I won’t acknowledge the other things you said about me and my dd. I am trying to be the best Catholic parent possible and teaching her the Truth. If I don’t, she will follow the crowd even when they can be wrong. I have to teach you that she has the choice to do right or wrong no matter what others may or may not think.

 

[katieq]

The DRE and I are friends. She is not aware of what has been going on between the school and I. She was just told my my dd teacher that we were the ones to make the class genuflect. That is not the same when processing in. She calls on my dh a lot to do the readings for her First Communion services. She is not think, we are her adversary. My question was is should I tell her how it made us both feel that she said what she said without knowing the whole story? If we would made a big scene and whated to genuflect, then yes, she need to talk to us, but we were fine with bowing at this point for this reason and she knows this for my dh is a reader as I said. I just thought she would like us to talk to her in case her name came up when we go see the pastor.

In this case, I definetally don’t think that you need to address the issue with her. As a friend, she was probably just trying to approach what she thought was a sticky situation (I’m assuming she does know the part about your desire for genuflection) in a friendly way. I see no offense, intended or unintended here…and I I am wondering why her name would come up with the priest? About a seperate issue?

 

[nana3]

If I was in the position of the DRE, and we had had conversations (it sounds like many) on which we disagreed…specifically on this issue of genuflection, I would have mentioned the same thing to you. She may not habe been paying attention to you when you approached the Tabernacle. She may have done it to cover her bases for the actual event. It appears (from what you had written) that she did not say it in an inappropriate way, nor did she say anything untrue (you do believe in geneuflecting). It does not seem in this instance that she did anything offensive. I’m sure that past experience colors both of your and her exchanges with each other.

What do you mean here?

I don’t think this hhould have any bearing on whether or not you speak to the DRE about her comment to you. It is a seperate topic. (Though important)

God bless!

Please forgive me everyone, my English is not the best. I speak two languages and maybe I am not expressing myself to well for there are things getting misunderstood. Again forgive me.

The DRE and I have never had any conversations at all ever about this topic. She got her information from the school for the second grade teacher was there at the rehearsal. I don’t know how she feels about genuflections while entering and exiting the church. I have not had any prior conversations with her. The reason I mentioned the GIRM is because that is the problem the school had with us and that we pointed this out to them. THey had to change things only after the Pastor told them to. They had bad feelings for us doing this. This is why the teacher mentioned it to the DRE, otherwise, she didn’t know. She told us not to genuflect but to please bow because she knew we were a genuflection family.

I don’t know if that is clearer. If not then I give up. Maybe, my dh can write it better. I am trying.

The part that you ask about what do I mean about the DRE is that we have to go see the Pastor for some problems with the teacher abusing our daughter in class and then lying about it. The topic of what they believe on the “genuflection” issue came up in a conference we had with her and one other teacher and a counselor. They all same many liberal things and things that are not taught in our Catholic Faith, one being the genuflection. They brought it up not us, for they were angry that we did make a “big deal” of it as they said. When we mention this part to the priest, to show that it has spread around, we may need to reveal what the DRE said to us. I like her and I don’t think she knows what is going on. She should know what the Church teaches, but she doesn’t have a theology degree and just recently got this position for her spirituality. She is a very nice lady and has always treated us well. I just think that she didn’t need to tell us not to genuflect when processing in for we knew we had to bow. I know why she did it, but she maybe should have waited to see if we were going to complain about bowing.

I hope that was better to understand.

 

[nana3]

In this case, I definetally don’t think that you need to address the issue with her. As a friend, she was probably just trying to approach what she thought was a sticky situation (I’m assuming she does know the part about your desire for genuflection) in a friendly way. I see no offense, intended or unintended here…and I I am wondering why her name would come up with the priest? About a seperate issue?

Thanks, we must have been responding at the same time. Disregard the last response to you. I read yours when I sent my through.

Thanks so much. I will keep her out of it. I don’t know how she feels, but the Pastor might sit everyone down and educate them all, school and church staff.

 

[katieq]

In this case, then I really don’t know if you need mention it. I’m sure that she’s not used to dealing with people who are as well versed in the GIRM as you and your dh.