Advice, prayers, encouragement, please

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youngsterat16

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I need prayers. and guidance. I’m not sure what else

I met this guy at work and we;ve been talking a bit. He has an interest in me, but he has a couple of issues. I started liking him, but told him that I wanted to be just friends right now

he was Catholic, but stopped believing somepoint within the past 2 years. i don’t know when it happened, but his mom died sometime before being confirmed I think but has stopped believing because of her death

I dont know how or who he was previously, but his grades in school aren’t well, he doesn’t sleep, he thinks he needs a girlfriend, and he is very much depressed. All of these and him not being Catholic has really made me want to not be around him. this isn’t coming out how it is in my head right.

he isn’t a bad guy, and I know he is really hurting. I don’t know why God chose me to be put in his life and him in mine. I know what He is calling me for, but part of me does not want to bother.

I part of me wants to know me better. somethings is telling me i need to stay friends witht his guy. but I went to a talk today at a shrine and confession, and I know that I need to be a friend tro him. but it’s hard. I don’t know him real well. And he lieks me. and i have some interest, but i really am having a battle with this. I believe all of these problems are revolving over his loss, but it’s like another voice is telling me not to deal with it. not to get involved.

I went to confession and talked to the priest a little about this, but there’s so many other issues I didn’t discuss. I don’t feel threatened by this guy in any way. and I really have no idea if I could date him like he is. I know i need to be a friend, and that is what I told him. I said I wasn’t ready to date and that i make no promises to do so. but I knwo he would still like to.

This isn’t much as asking for dating advice as it is to how to know him and open himself to get all of this hurt out. I really would like advice, prayers, and encouragement. encouragement to keep being a friend. becuse I know God is calling me to that, I know not to force anything on him. but so much has been pulling at me to prevent me from helping this guy. I knew I needed to go to confession and start with a clean heart, but I kept psyching myself into not going. making up excuses.

advice, prayers, encouragement please, I am torn by this, and heartbroken by his situation
 
update: the smoking just started today. and not for the sake of smoking, but in hope to die. prayers are very much needed for him.

and prayers for myself would be apreciated as well, because this is something that is going to impact my life. thank you in advance

and please, no harsh judgement on this guy. while it isn’t good, he does have a very good excuse.
 
We can only point him to God the Father, Christ our Savior, the Holy Spirit as comforter, and Our Lady Queen of heaven as Mother of us all. May all your conversations start there. Share your faith. Point him towards someone better equipped to deal with his loss, a priest, a deacon, a monk, a nun. A soul is at stake.

God bless you for seeing that and caring.
 
My gut says that your intuition is warning you. Always listen to that inner small voice, it is usually right and from the Lord. Don’t ignore it, keep yourself safe. The devil is always on the prowl for those who he can get a foothold in their lives and bring them down. Stay away and pray is what I sense to tell you.
 
Casilda said:
We can only point him to God the Father, Christ our Savior, the Holy Spirit as comforter, and Our Lady Queen of heaven as Mother of us all. May all your conversations start there. Share your faith. Point him towards someone better equipped to deal with his loss, a priest, a deacon, a monk, a nun. A soul is at stake.

God bless you for seeing that and caring.
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unfortunately right now, he doesn’t believe in God anymore. so for the time being, all i can do is just be here for him and be a friend. i can’t push religion on him, althoug i will mention to him my prayers, i’ll mention something about church in a conversation if it makes sense, lfor example, we were going to go to a play yesterday. but then my mom asked me if i wanted to join her for something at a shrine that evening. i mentioned it to this guy briefly, and he told me to go with my mom.

i talked to a priest in the confessional yesterday, and he advised to just be patient, and just expose him to open up those wounds. not pulling him to church or anything, but just being an example and friend.

if he does start questioning his faith and wants to try coming back to the church, then I will help him with a priest, deacon, etc. but i don’t think that will do good right now

thank you for your prayers and advice, very much appreciated.
 
actually, I think it is quite the opposite: I believe God is telling me to be there for this man; i think it’s the devil trying to pull me away. t

his puts me out of my comfort zone. he’s so hurt and going the wrong way thta i just don’t know if i can help him, and i feel like just giving up. thinking it’s a hopeless case. but I get to know him, and he is just in so much emotional pain. there is just a lot falling out of his life. he likes me, and I’d lie if i wasn’t attracted to him. I want to just give into a relationship as well, but I know that’s another trap. right now, i can’t. He is not ready. he told me something last night, and he just really needs someone in his life to care. not a girlfriend, just somebody. Why am I that somebody?

. this guy isn’t bringing me down. he isn’t forcing anything on me. he isn’t trying to hurt me in any way, he isn’t nagging any relationship. he has mentioned he really likes me and likes talking to me, but i have told him I can’t be dating him right now. I’ll be his friend, but that doesn’t promise that I will date him. and he understands,

I believe I was placed in his life for a reason. There is just too much coincidence in all of this. And after hard prayer in adoration last night, confession, and the priest’s talk, I know I can’t ignore him.

I have been praying all week. The more I found out about this guy, the more I found myself praying. Finally I just cried out to God to show me that this is what I needed to do. That this is what he wants me to do. I had asked for more than I should have to trust Him, but he delivered.

I had planned to go to a play with him. That had been the plan all week, but this opportunity at the shrine came up. I really wanted to go, but didn’t want to break a committment with this play. I had mentioned briefly about this event with my mom, and he told me to go. I never asked him or even clued in that I wanted to go, it was over a message so he wouldn’t be able to see y face or anything.

so I go, and the priest hits on right on this subject. He referenced the passage from Ezekeil about dry bones, and then talked about raising up others whose bones have gone dry. using the example of a son who grew up Catholic, but has pulled away. I found that too coincidental. and I thought also that if I was going to do this, I need to go to confession. The priest then went on talking about confession, and that they had confession there last night, but I also didn’t want to go. I kept psyching myself not to. Finally i said to myself, if my mom mentions it, I’ll go. soon enough, she tells me that I can go to confession, if I wanted.

i think this guy was placed in my life as well. I have been pulling away spiritually this past year, I still believe, but I have just found myself keeping a distance. Recently before meeting this guy, I had asked God to help me come back to Him.That I was ready to be close again. I asked for help in this.

Now this guy appears out of the blue, with so much brokenness and pain. someone who less than two years ago identified himself as Catholic, then abandoned it. and had went to the same church that I do, and was confirmed when I was. That I had never meant previously, but we cross now.

I don’t find this coincidental. This may possibly be what I need to get back into my faith. This challenge in myy faith may be everything I had asked God for. and maybe, this exposition to Christ through me is everything this guy has asked for as well.

I thank you all for prayers. and your advice.
 
youngsterat16 said:
I need prayers. and guidance. I’m not sure what else

I met this guy at work and we;ve been talking a bit. He has an interest in me, but he has a couple of issues. I started liking him, but told him that I wanted to be just friends right now

he was Catholic, but stopped believing somepoint within the past 2 years. i don’t know when it happened, but his mom died sometime before being confirmed I think but has stopped believing because of her death

I dont know how or who he was previously, but his grades in school aren’t well, he doesn’t sleep, he thinks he needs a girlfriend, and he is very much depressed. All of these and him not being Catholic has really made me want to not be around him. this isn’t coming out how it is in my head right.

he isn’t a bad guy, and I know he is really hurting. I don’t know why God chose me to be put in his life and him in mine. I know what He is calling me for, but part of me does not want to bother.

I part of me wants to know me better. somethings is telling me i need to stay friends witht his guy. but I went to a talk today at a shrine and confession, and I know that I need to be a friend tro him. but it’s hard. I don’t know him real well. And he lieks me. and i have some interest, but i really am having a battle with this. I believe all of these problems are revolving over his loss, but it’s like another voice is telling me not to deal with it. not to get involved.

I went to confession and talked to the priest a little about this, but there’s so many other issues I didn’t discuss. I don’t feel threatened by this guy in any way. and I really have no idea if I could date him like he is. I know i need to be a friend, and that is what I told him. I said I wasn’t ready to date and that i make no promises to do so. but I knwo he would still like to.

This isn’t much as asking for dating advice as it is to how to know him and open himself to get all of this hurt out. I really would like advice, prayers, and encouragement. encouragement to keep being a friend. becuse I know God is calling me to that, I know not to force anything on him. but so much has been pulling at me to prevent me from helping this guy. I knew I needed to go to confession and start with a clean heart, but I kept psyching myself into not going. making up excuses.

advice, prayers, encouragement please, I am torn by this, and heartbroken by his situation
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MOST [nearly all]of us are NOT qualified to be the kind of help this man needs,

PRAY much for him and SUGGEST he talk to a Catholic priest.

MY suggestion is avoid a further involvement, you’re “looking” for trouble IMO

GBY
 
I agree with PJM. Prayer is the best thing you can do for this young man. If he wants help he will go see a priest. If he won’t then he doesn’t really want help. You will be in my rosary tonight.
 
We are to imitate Christ.
One should always share our faith with a lost soul.
Talk about going to mass, Christ’s presence in the Tabernacle.
Teach a simple prayer, the Hail Mary.
How will they know if know one teaches them.
Peter, do you love me, feed my sheep.
 
Casilda said:
We are to imitate Christ.
One should always share our faith with a lost soul.
Talk about going to mass, Christ’s presence in the Tabernacle.
Teach a simple prayer, the Hail Mary.
How will they know if know one teaches them.
Peter, do you love me, feed my sheep.
Click to expand...
very much appreciated. this guys currently an ex catholic, so he knows of this stuff. I would like to ivite him to Mass and talk about it, I do a little. I mentioned to him about the shrine. unfortunately, i don’t think i can push for that much yet.

thank you though

but I’d like to show by example how to find joy in life again.

I just don’t see why I should avoid him? and not do this? we are called to evangelize and bring others to Christ. I just want to lead by example.

I am really not concerned or asking for dating advice. I’ll know what to do. I have already told him my intentions, he understands. later down the road, I’ll know whether or not to be more than a friend. either way, he does need someone. I plan on introducing him to my friends as well.

please don’t be judging this guy, as I have said, it isn’t good. not saying it’s ok that he is how he is. but he has good reason. and i am not going into that, but it’s been a tough life and it’s just tumbling

I would feel horrible if I shunned this guy. I’d regret it. becuase I know I have the capablity to help. knowing that I had the chance to show Christ to him again, but didn’t. I know this guy won’t hurt me. I’ve very good intuition on people. i’m very good at reading people. the worse to happen on my end is I get my heartbroken. but if that’s what it takes to get him back to the Church and to believing in a God who loves him. Who knows it and feels it.to have a close relationship, it would be worth it. most definitely.

I think he is angry at God. and so hurt. but I get the feeling he still has some belie, just his anger is in the way. his frustration. and yes, he does need to see a priest. but there’s the whole not believing in God thing. why must I shove him to a priest and tell him get help from him when I can as well? feels hypocritical. and just because he doesn’t go, doesn’t mean he doesn’t want it

when the time comes, I will suggest he sees a priest. but that won’t be helpful at the moment. I mean it would, but not really if he is still holding a grudge. now is just not the time

maybe I should just be asking for prayers, which are appreciated. but I know God has me in this for a reason.I have faith that something good can come from this. I need to be a friend. to be Christ-like to a brother in Christ in need

thank you all though for the imput
 
youngsterat16 said:
actually, I think it is quite the opposite: I believe God is telling me to be there for this man; i think it’s the devil trying to pull me away.
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I’m not that much older than you (assuming you’re the age your username suggests), and I’ve had similar experiences trying to fix/save broken people.

Here’s my advice: don’t do it. You really don’t known what you’re doing, and you’re going to get dragged down by this guy’s issues.

Pray for him certainly, but don’t play the savior.
 
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