advice

[HNA444]

I know exactly what you mean. I was the same way when I was younger (re: not having much of a voice). I think one acquires a voice with age (or from being stepped on too many times, laugh.)

The key is to be nice but firm, sweet but direct, charming but…you get the idea. And in this situation I think you’ve done exactly that. You’ve been extremely courteous by waiting for 6 months on the return of your book and when inquiring about it you haven’t been ugly to her.

Having a “voice” can be bad and it can be good. It all depends on how you use it. When it comes to this I say, “Good job!”

Aww , thank you you are so sweet !! I try

 

[Joe_5859]

I don’t think the people who have posted on your thread were thinking you were stingy about wanting your book. I think they were saying, “It’s not worth it, take the high road, forget about it, etc.”

I do understand what you’re saying though (regarding the principle of it). Situations like this (in my own life) tend to irk me to no end. When I’m in a predicament like this I feel like someone is trying to treat me like a doormat, like they’re walking all over me. I’ve lost so many clothes, DVD’s, books, earrings, shoes, etc. to so called friends because I didn’t speak up. Finally a few years ago I said, “No more!” I still let friends borrow things but if I don’t have the item(s) back within a few weeks I’m on them like white on rice!

That’s true. You don’t want to be a doormat. I see no problem with what you did, HNA. I think in this situation, it really wasn’t a matter of one course of action being the “right” one and the other the “wrong” one. Either course of action was fine, provided you go about it the right way, which I think you did. You didn’t send nasty “hate texts” or anything.

 

[HNA444]

That’s true. You don’t want to be a doormat. I see no problem with what you did, HNA. I think in this situation, it really wasn’t a matter of one course of action being the “right” one and the other the “wrong” one. Either course of action was fine, provided you go about it the right way, which I think you did. You didn’t send nasty “hate texts” or anything.

No, of course not. It’s just I knew that when she said she would ship it to me, and when she realized it probably would be a hassle to do it and changed her mind, … and I said no just ship it to me on purpose because she had said in the first place. I just felt like maybe I could have just been like fine give it to my friend. But, I didn’t, because she was being rude about it. It’s hard trying to always be nice to rude and selfish people.