Advise a Protestant friend to go to a Protestant church?

[Craisin]

Hi everyone,

I feel a little bit in a pickle. An old aquaitance of mine from high school recently moved into my area, and asked if I could direct him to a good “faith community” to be a part of. I once practiced as a Protestant until rather recently, so I know well of some more conservative Protestant churches in my area. However, would it be o.k. for me to direct him to a Protestant church? I would invite him to our Catholic church as well, but feel since he is Protestant, I should likewise tell him of some Protestant churches? What is the best thing to do in this situation?

Thanks!

 

[mark_a]

Hi everyone,

I feel a little bit in a pickle. An old aquaitance of mine from high school recently moved into my area, and asked if I could direct him to a good “faith community” to be a part of. I once practiced as a Protestant until rather recently, so I know well of some more conservative Protestant churches in my area. However, would it be o.k. for me to direct him to a Protestant church? I would invite him to our Catholic church as well, but feel since he is Protestant, I should likewise tell him of some Protestant churches? What is the best thing to do in this situation?

Thanks!

If your friend knows you are Catholic, you should invite him to your own Church. If that won’t work for him, send him to one of the others.

 

[LilyM]

I’d just smile and say ‘I’ve been to many around here and found the best faith community of all - come with me next Sunday!’ and take him to your church.

I personally wouldn’t do any more than that. If he wants an inferior substitute let him find it from someone else, I choose only to deal in the real thing.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

Does your friend know you’re Catholic? If so, this might be a way of saying he’d like to explore the possibility of becoming Catholic himself without coming right out and saying so.

 

[Craisin]

No, he does not know that I am Catholic since I have not spoken to him since our high school days (about 6 years ago), and only within the past year have I come into the Church. I have no problems telling him I am Catholic, however.

I was thinking of telling him that I recently became Catholic, and have found the spirituality to be most fulfilling, and that he is more than welcome to join us or check it out. However, if he wanted to find another Christian groups, I would list some other young adult groups that are more non-denominational in our area…

?? Would this be displeasing to God?

 

[LilyM]

No, he does not know that I am Catholic since I have not spoken to him since our high school days (about 6 years ago), and only within the past year have I come into the Church. I have no problems telling him I am Catholic, however.

I was thinking of telling him that I recently became Catholic, and have found the spirituality to be most fulfilling, and that he is more than welcome to join us or check it out. However, if he wanted to find another Christian groups, I would list some other young adult groups that are more non-denominational in our area…

?? Would this be displeasing to God?

I don’t think so. But is he looking for a young adult group or more specifically a church?

 

[FickleFreckled]

Why not just ask him what he’s looking for in a faith community? Then tell him you’re Catholic and invite him to go with you. Be prepared with a recommendation from a local Protestant friend though in case he declines or goes with you just to be polite.

 

[gurneyhalleck1]

I would first invite him to your Catholic church if that is your faith. If he didn’t feel comfortable with that, I would definitely steer him toward a conservative Anglican parish or Lutheran LCMS parish. I know some posters in here have the “Catholic or nothing” approach. I can appreciate the obvious desire to bring him/her to the faith, but at least conservative Anglicans and Lutherans reject gay marriage, female clergy, abortion, and try to stick to many traditional, respectable tenets of Christianity that are reminiscent of Catholicism. Better than going full-on Baptist or Adventist or the other groups. At least these could be a stepping stone to Catholicism from your vantage point. Protestant groups DO hold truths about Christ. The pope and catechism say as much. Some have more truth than others.

 

[O.S.Luke]

If he wants an inferior substitute let him find it from someone else, I choose only to deal in the real thing.

Nice.

 

[LilyM]

Nice.

Truthful. Why would I bother attending a Catholic church week after week if I thought every other church (or indeed ANY other church) was just as good? Would I not go to these other ‘just as good’ churches - at least once in a while?

Why do you bother attending YOUR church week after week if you honestly think every other church is just as good? Why don’t you spend a Sunday at each in turn?

 

[Syele]

Truthful. Why would I bother attending a Catholic church week after week if I thought every other church (or indeed ANY other church) was just as good? Would I not go to these other ‘just as good’ churches - at least once in a while?

Why do you bother attending YOUR church week after week if you honestly think every other church is just as good? Why don’t you spend a Sunday at each in turn?

Some obviously are not “Just as good” as for why not go to a different one every week… why don’t you go to a different parish every week? they are just as good aren’t they?

 

[LilyM]

Some obviously are not “Just as good” as for why not go to a different one every week… why don’t you go to a different parish every week? they are just as good aren’t they?

Actually there are several Catholic parishes close enough to me that I DO do parish hop between four of 'em!

Of course I understand that not everyone has the option. And my own options are restricted because of geographical closeness, which isn’t an issue in the OP’s case, since they are obviously in the same area if they work together and OP is being asked to recommend a church.

But I don’t see why you’d expect me to recommend a church that I don’t see as delivering the full goods - any more than you’d expect me to recommend a doctor to my friend who was less than the best doctor I knew, when the best doctor is available for them.

 

[Syele]

Actually there are several Catholic parishes close enough to me that I DO do parish hop between four of 'em!

Of course I understand that not everyone has the option. And my own options are restricted because of geographical closeness, which isn’t an issue in the OP’s case, since they are obviously in the same area if they work together and OP is being asked to recommend a church.

But I don’t see why you’d expect me to recommend a church that I don’t see as delivering the full goods - any more than you’d expect me to recommend a doctor to my friend who was less than the best doctor I knew, when the best doctor is available for them.

If someone asked for the 2nd best Doctor Id see no problem with saying well Id say 2nd best would be… but I think Dr. Best MD is better because of … .

As for Church hopping, There are two that I attend (one about once every other month), but I believe if you switch between too many you will have problems with accountability, fellowship, Following a bible study missing session 1,4,&5 for example would make it hard to follow. there is something to be said for consistency.

 

[O.S.Luke]

Why do you bother attending YOUR church week after week if you honestly think every other church is just as good? Why don’t you spend a Sunday at each in turn?

Mainly, because the bishop has appointed me to serve here.

 

[LilyM]

If someone asked for the 2nd best Doctor Id see no problem with saying well Id say 2nd best would be… but I think Dr. Best MD is better because of … .

As for Church hopping, There are two that I attend (one about once every other month), but I believe if you switch between too many you will have problems with accountability, fellowship, Following a bible study missing session 1,4,&5 for example would make it hard to follow. there is something to be said for consistency.

But surely no-one really wants to know which church you think is second-best, do they? Of course if they ask you to make a recommendation they want THE best! I’d think very poorly of a friend who directed me anywhere else.

Accountability? I’m accountable to God and my spiritual directors (who are not affiliated with any of the parishes I attend for Mass or confession). I fellowship with many people of many different parishes. If I choose to go to a Bible study, of course I’d see that through - doesn’t mean I have to go to Mass, confession or anything else in that parish, surely.

 

[Syele]

But surely no-one really wants to know which church you think is second-best, do they? Of course if they ask you to make a recommendation they want THE best! I’d think very poorly of a friend who directed me anywhere else.

Are you sure you aren’t arguing just to argue? If they want a church that isn’t Catholic, and you tell them you think Catholic is the best. then you could tell them another too or would you just say “Come here for forget it?”

Accountability? I’m accountable to God and my spiritual directors (who are not affiliated with any of the parishes I attend for Mass or confession). I fellowship with many people of many different parishes. If I choose to go to a Bible study, of course I’d see that through - doesn’t mean I have to go to Mass, confession or anything else in that parish, surely.

Are you are really saying that there is no advantage to going to the same parish frequently?? I never said you couldn’t go to another for anything, just said there are some good things about having one you attend regularly.

 

[Primox]

Maybe you should hedge your bets and send him to the worst protestant church around. 50/50 odds he turns atheist or Catholic

But seriously, it seems pretty clear that he’s asking where there are good protestant churches. That being the case, why not just answer his question earnestly? If at some other point in time he should be enticed to the Catholic faith, or if you should put him in that direction through subsequent conversations, then that would be the time to intervene. Let me exaggerate what the alternative looks like:

Friend: "Do you know where I can find a good protestant church?
You: “No no, what you’re looking for is a Catholic Church - no worries, I made the same mistake before ”
Friend: “Uhhh…”

 

[LilyM]

Are you sure you aren’t arguing just to argue? If they want a church that isn’t Catholic, and you tell them you think Catholic is the best. then you could tell them another too or would you just say “Come here for forget it?”

No I can’t and won’t. To do it would be like that passage in scripture - giving a kid a stone when it asks for bread, or a snake when it asks for fish. If they want stones and snakes, I ain’t going to be the one giving 'em to them, let someone else do that.

Are you are really saying that there is no advantage to going to the same parish frequently?? I never said you couldn’t go to another for anything, just said there are some good things about having one you attend regularly.

Like being guaranteed the same opinions each and every Sunday and nothing challenging? Someone who is really seeking the truth benefits more from getting a fresh perspective on a regular basis.

 

[Syele]

No I can’t and won’t. To do it would be like that passage in scripture - giving a kid a stone when it asks for bread, or a snake when it asks for fish. If they want stones and snakes, I ain’t going to be the one giving 'em to them, let someone else do that.

If he asks for a non-Catholic place to attend then he didn’t as for “bread” according to you. If you say "I believe the Catholic church is the best because (Insert why). " IF they still ask for a protestant church what are you gonna do? Tell them they have inferior desires? That they are going to hell? You seem hostile. That isnt gonna win anyone over.

Like being guaranteed the same opinions each and every Sunday and nothing challenging? Someone who is really seeking the truth benefits more from getting a fresh perspective on a regular basis.

hmm, My church has more than one person that preaches.

 

[LilyM]

If he asks for a non-Catholic place to attend then he didn’t as for “bread” according to you. If you say "I believe the Catholic church is the best because (Insert why). " IF they still ask for a protestant church what are you gonna do? Tell them they have inferior desires? That they are going to hell? You seem hostile. That isnt gonna win anyone over.

No - I’m going to tell them, with no hostility but all honesty, that being Catholic, I don’t know which are the best non-Catholic churches, and that if they want advice on that issue I’m not the one to ask.

hmm, My church has more than one person that preaches.

So do mine However, being that the preachers in a particular church do work together very closely there’s necessarily a large amount of groupthink that goes on in any parish, as indeed in any other workplace. I notice how much this is the case when I go to other parishes.