Advise on bad aquaitence

[riverman]

There is a lady down the street who I don’t care much for. She is always up to something. My biggest problem is that I feel it is my duty to protect my family from all bad things. My wife does not want me to say anything to her because of a possible conflict. She takes advantage of my wife’s kind heart. I am not kidding you, my wifes sole purpose in life was to be with and take care of kids. There is not a child that I know that does not come running to her. Even stranger kids. She is a highly recognized home daycare provider. Her nature never allows her to do anything or say anything that may cause conflict. She recently converted to Catholocism when we had our marriage validated through the church. She was babtized, confirmed, and recieved her first Holy communion that day. Four sacraments in one day! Anyway, this lady down the street always stabs my wife in the back or asks her to do wrong things. My wife has a hard time saying no because she don’t want conflict. The last thing was, a paper needed to be signed by one of this ladies daycare parents. She asked my wife to sign it. I told my wife she was a better person than that and she knew it. If the true parent signed it the feedback would not be as strong as this lady was wanting. My wife ended up refusing but just to ask her to do this eats me up! I cannot even look at the lady! I dispise her! I know that her body is a temple of the Holy Spirit and that is why I never say anything to her face. I have shared my feelings about her with others though. How do I decide between saying something to her against my wifes wishes or allowing her to continue abusing my wifes BIG HEART! If I had it my way, I’d tell her to get out of my life and stay away from my wife! How, can I do that though, wouldn’t that be like telling the Holy Spirit to get out of my life?

 

[maendem]

riverman:

There is a lady down the street who I don’t care much for. She is always up to something. My biggest problem is that I feel it is my duty to protect my family from all bad things. My wife does not want me to say anything to her because of a possible conflict. She takes advantage of my wife’s kind heart. I am not kidding you, my wifes sole purpose in life was to be with and take care of kids. There is not a child that I know that does not come running to her. Even stranger kids. She is a highly recognized home daycare provider. Her nature never allows her to do anything or say anything that may cause conflict. She recently converted to Catholocism when we had our marriage validated through the church. She was babtized, confirmed, and recieved her first Holy communion that day. Four sacraments in one day! Anyway, this lady down the street always stabs my wife in the back or asks her to do wrong things. My wife has a hard time saying no because she don’t want conflict. The last thing was, a paper needed to be signed by one of this ladies daycare parents. She asked my wife to sign it. I told my wife she was a better person than that and she knew it. If the true parent signed it the feedback would not be as strong as this lady was wanting. My wife ended up refusing but just to ask her to do this eats me up! I cannot even look at the lady! I dispise her! I know that her body is a temple of the Holy Spirit and that is why I never say anything to her face. I have shared my feelings about her with others though. How do I decide between saying something to her against my wifes wishes or allowing her to continue abusing my wifes BIG HEART! If I had it my way, I’d tell her to get out of my life and stay away from my wife! How, can I do that though, wouldn’t that be like telling the Holy Spirit to get out of my life?

Riverman: your post is very confusing; perhaps that’s why nobody has responded. It is not at all clear why this “lady down the street” gets on your nerves, except that you somehow feel she takes advantage of your wife. The point about the form she wanted signed is also very obscure. Can you be clearer?

Ultimately, since your wife is a grown woman, it is not your responsibility to “protect her from all bad things;” she will need to make her own decisions about her relationship with this woman. However, if you could elaborate a bit about why this lady annoys/angers you, it might be easier for people on the forum to make suggestions.

 

[maendem]

riverman:

There is a lady down the street who I don’t care much for. She is always up to something. My biggest problem is that I feel it is my duty to protect my family from all bad things. My wife does not want me to say anything to her because of a possible conflict. She takes advantage of my wife’s kind heart. I am not kidding you, my wifes sole purpose in life was to be with and take care of kids. There is not a child that I know that does not come running to her. Even stranger kids. She is a highly recognized home daycare provider. Her nature never allows her to do anything or say anything that may cause conflict. She recently converted to Catholocism when we had our marriage validated through the church. She was babtized, confirmed, and recieved her first Holy communion that day. Four sacraments in one day! Anyway, this lady down the street always stabs my wife in the back or asks her to do wrong things. My wife has a hard time saying no because she don’t want conflict. The last thing was, a paper needed to be signed by one of this ladies daycare parents. She asked my wife to sign it. I told my wife she was a better person than that and she knew it. If the true parent signed it the feedback would not be as strong as this lady was wanting. My wife ended up refusing but just to ask her to do this eats me up! I cannot even look at the lady! I dispise her! I know that her body is a temple of the Holy Spirit and that is why I never say anything to her face. I have shared my feelings about her with others though. How do I decide between saying something to her against my wifes wishes or allowing her to continue abusing my wifes BIG HEART! If I had it my way, I’d tell her to get out of my life and stay away from my wife! How, can I do that though, wouldn’t that be like telling the Holy Spirit to get out of my life?

 

[riverman]

Let me re write this. I was tired when I wrote it the first time. I hope I can clerify it up a bit.

There is a lady down the street who I don’t care much for. She is always up to something. My biggest problem is that I feel it is my duty to protect my family. My wife does not want me to say anything to her because of a possible conflict. She takes advantage of my wife’s kind heart. She knows my wife will never tell someone “No.” This lady down the street has stabed my wife in the back various times, or asks her to do wrong things. My wife runs a Daycare provider support group on base and is the top Provider here. There is a sign in our front yard to honor my wifes dedication to the children. This ladies first words when she met my wife were’ “That sign will be in my yard!” That was two years ago and my wife has retaianed the sign. Anyway, My wife takes great pride in providing top quality Catholic based care for the children. This lady asked my wife to come over to her house to help her set up her daycare. Of course, my wife willingly went over and helped her. My wife spend a lot of time over the next year helping this lady establish a daycare center in her house. When it was all done she told my wife,“I don’t need you any more.” My wife was heartbroken. Then, slowly this lady starts working here way back into my wifes life and needs help setting up a function for all the daycare families on base. Then just before the event she goes and takes full credit for the event and left my wife there like she was nothing. My wifes human nature does not allow her to confront this woman. My wife does not like confrontation. I feel I should say something to her but my wife has asked me to keep the peace. My wife is so friendly to here an I ask her why? She tells me you keep your friends close and your enemies closer. I do not agree with this. I feel you can cut off any ties with this lady and still not do wrong. I don’t know if I should follow my feelings and ask her to stop taking advantage of my wife and or if I should honor my wifes feelings and let it go. I cannot even look at the lady! I dispise her! I know that her body is a temple of the Holy Spirit and that is why I never say anything to her face. I have shared my feelings about her with others who feel the same about her as I do though. If I had it my way, I’d tell her to get out of my life and stay away from my wife! How, can I do that though, wouldn’t that be like telling the Holy Spirit to get out of my life?

 

[La_Chiara]

it sounds like you are understandably protective of your wife. But in situations like this, it is often best to de-escalate the friction. You are not going to change this woman and make her a nicer person. So try to have as little to do with her as possible. “Avoid the near occasions of sin” as we say in the Act of Contrition–that is, stay far enough away from her that you will not feel anger towards her. You wrote about the base you live on. So you are probably in the military. That means one or the other family will probably be moving on soon. But recognize that you will meet people like this woman wherever you go in life. Learn to recognize difficult people and keep your distance. And pray to the Holy Spirit for strength and peace of mind. God bless.

 

[riverman]

My wife had this lady over the other day to finish up a Christmas project for all the children in the Base daycare program. While she was here the topic of being Catholic came up some how. Then she said, how could Catholic be the right religion just cause it is the “oldest” when witchcraft and other religions were around before it." I told here it may not be the oldest religion but it is the Church that Christ created, therefore is the true and full religion. I stepped out of the room and she was talking to my wife. My wife called me in and told here to tell me what she just told my wife. She proceeded to tell me that because of her studies on different religions she has acctually used witchcraft as her faith. Then she said, “I am a catholic though.” I asked her, “If you are baptised a Catholic, and have recieved all the sacraments like you say, then, please do not practice that stuff and continue associating with the Catholic faith. If you are going to call yourself a Catholic, than practice it!” I just knew there was something about her! LOL

 

[YinYangMom]

riverman:

My wife had this lady over the other day to finish up a Christmas project for all the children in the Base daycare program. While she was here the topic of being Catholic came up some how. Then she said, how could Catholic be the right religion just cause it is the “oldest” when witchcraft and other religions were around before it." I told here it may not be the oldest religion but it is the Church that Christ created, therefore is the true and full religion. I stepped out of the room and she was talking to my wife. My wife called me in and told here to tell me what she just told my wife. She proceeded to tell me that because of her studies on different religions she has acctually used witchcraft as her faith. Then she said, “I am a catholic though.” I asked her, “If you are baptised a Catholic, and have recieved all the sacraments like you say, then, please do not practice that stuff and continue associating with the Catholic faith. If you are going to call yourself a Catholic, than practice it!” I just knew there was something about her! LOL

Trust also, then, that God has brought her to cross paths with your wife (not you) for a reason. Your wife appears to trust in the Holy Spirit to respond to this woman as He desires. He will give her the strength, courage, wisdom, words, guidance to plant the seed of truth in this woman. You and your wife may never witness the fruits of this crossing of paths, but you should pray you both do His will while the paths are crossed. Pray also, together, for the children in her care.

You should continue to pray for your wife’s spiritual protection being in the midst of this woman’s views on witchcraft, and continue to be her support and refuge after the spiritual battles of her encounters with this woman. She is blessed to have you for her husband.

You mention you’re on a base, doesn’t that pretty much assure this woman will not be a lifelong acquaintance? Either you or her family will be called to move on someday, no? All the more reason to trust God has a plan in all this, I would think.