I’ve just read this entire thread and thought I could offer my opinion.
When I first got married (2 years ago) and met my in-laws for the first time, I was a little uncomfortable with the extent of affection between my in-laws and my husband (and his sister). They hug for a long time, and even kiss each other on the cheek. My sister-in-law will lay her head in her mom’s lap, or on her dad’s shoulder (she’s 21).
In my family, my parents are definitely not very affectionate. Hugging is about as affectionate as it gets (and it’s been this way since I was a young teen). When we hug it is brief. And if there were any kisses, it would be a shock (in fact, when my dad kissed my cheek on my wedding day, I was surprised!). We love each other TONS and have close relationships, but we’re not very affectionate.
To see and receive affection from my in-laws was very odd for me at first. I thought it was “weird”. It was only weird because I was raised with little physical affection from my parents, and if my parents had suddenly started kissing and hugging, it WOULD have been a sign that something more was going on.
You can’t judge someone based on something like this (you shouldn’t judge them regardless, but I digress). You have no idea what the individual person’s opinion on physical affection is. Just because you aren’t used to that amount of physical affection between father&daughter or mother&son doesn’t mean it is wrong for someone else. It doesn’t matter if it is cultural or not. Sure it’s always good to keep your eyes open in case there is something strange going on, but you can’t just jump into a situation and automatically assume there is something bad going on. It is really sad that we have to be so aware and cautious with our children because of sexual abuse, and I understand some people are more cautious than others, but it’s really really disheartening to read that some of you are (indirectly) accusing this father of having an inappropriate relationship with his daughter. You were not there, and you do not know the level of physical affection this family is accustomed to.
How would you feel if your dad (or mom) gave you a hug and a kiss on the cheek every day and then suddenly when you reached the age of maturity, they stopped? Personally, I would feel rejected. Even though this isn’t the kind of affection being addressed in this thread, it would essentially be the same thing if the father in question suddenly stopped being affectionate with his daughter. Perhaps, instead of accusing, we should be commending this father on being affectionate with his daughter, because it will give her security in who she is and she won’t go looking for male affection in the wrong places.
Just my :twocents: (though it seems more like $1
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