Afraid of leaving my family

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Gabrielle

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Ever since I was 13 I’ve considered a religious vocation. As I grew, I really wanted to have my own family, but I’m finally going to let god show me if this is what He actually wants from me. The only thing holding me back is my parents. I come from a very close knit, loving, all around amazing family. My parents are in their 60s, and though I know my siblings will never leave them, I’m afraid of leaving them. Every time I look at them my heart aches just thinking that I will leave them, that I won’t have them with me for long and that I will be away from them during the short time I will stil have them. I don’t know what to do. I can’t imagine leaving them, but if It does turn out to be what the Lord wants from me I want to answer to His call.
 
My parents are seperated by sea from my sister who is a nun ,but you know something changes and we are all very close in spirit 🙂 Those letters back home and Skype in the past year help tremendously.
 
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Well, you see in my culture this is not the case. Even when people marry they make sure to stay in the same town or property to take care of their parents. My aunt became a nun and it the whole family took it very hard because where we’re from families don’t leave each other. I know I will hurt them.
 
Mark 10:29 Truly I tell you," Jesus replied, "no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel
 
Negotiate a conversation about the question, “will you provide me with a smart phone to skype with you if I became a nun?” Of course you have to mention that privacy is highly important on both sides, agreed? That will be a good icebreaker to get the conversation moving.
 
At this stage, she says a calling came to her and she has to take it into practical terms. I’m sure those specifics will follow.
 
I do believe at least some communities allow a break so to speak where you can be with your family for a couple weeks
 
As a mother, I pray every day that my children will find their happiness. If this is what you were made for, be it. Have you spoken with them about it? You’ll never know till you talk to them.
 
Well if you are serious about following a vocation and really doing what God wants, then trust in him. Believe me I know how hard that is. I agree with some one else who suggested adoration and add pray a lot and if you can get hold of some books on vocations (the catholic truth society have a small little guide for looking into vocations) . Then listen for the Holy Spirit to guide you and you will find peace at the end of the journey even if in between turns your life upside down. Firstly this book will show you all your options, they are not nun, marriage or nothing. You also have the option of lay and secular institutes which would both allow you to serve God and to also live with and serve your parents and the community. So before you panic about making the either or choice, read some more information and see if God is calling you to chose one or the other or if He isn’t calling you to chose both. Also this booklet gives you links to websites to help you learn more about nuns too if that’s where you are called too. These lay and secular institutes are also affiliated with say Carmelites, Franciscans etc. So order this little booklet off the CTS website or (another booklet or source) and have a read and see where the Holy Spirit leads you… relax and take it easy let God’s peace prevail. God loves you and wants and knows what is best for you and all those around you. Trust in Him.
 
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Respect for your parents does not mean you mistake them as gods. When we hurt sometimes it is just our disagreement with God’s plan hence our plan. Your family getting angry with you does not equal them being right and you wrong. You know you love them and showed it to them and you can show it to them in the future if they allow you to do so .
And yes Jesus said that to follow Him may also mean leaving one’s mother and father. This is said explicitly in the NT. If they are still angry at your aunt for becoming a nun…then God forgive me but I don’t see them as a well of steaming faith.
Parents who just cling on to their kids are not showing love but are thinking of themselves. Love is wanting another’s happiness at the price of your own shortcomings. God loves us this way. Parents sometimes don’t. And they get angry and jealous at our relationship with Him and thus are not an example of faith. Or love. Or godliness.
Tradition equals nothing unless God is the core of it. A tradition devoided of God will perish and is meant to perish.
 
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Oh no, please don’t get me wrong. No one was angry at my aunt for becoming a nun! There was just a great deal of sadness ever since she left. I have spoken to my mom about the possibility and though she always tears up she only tells me that whatever God wills is what will be. I caused a misunderstanding and I apologize. My family never abandoned, tried to stop, or became angry at my aunt, but the sadness that was left behind afterwards never really went away. It was similar to her having passed away. I will definitely look into the advice everyone has given me and I sincerely thank you all. I will do what the Lord wills of me and your suggestions have truly been helpfully. God bless you all 🙂
 
I have spoken to my mother about it multiple times since I was young. When I was a teenager she never did take me very seriously and only asked me to wait until I was older. I just had a conversation with her yesterday and her eyes filled with tears. She told me that whatever God willed would be done, but that is it. I haven’t spoken to my father though. I want to wait on him until I am absolutely certain. Your reply was beautiful 🙂 thank you for taking the time to advice me and God bless you
 
Well entrust your parents to your family to Jesus and his Mother Mary ,and do the will of God by discerning your vocations God Bless

Matthew 16:24 Then Jesus told his disciples, “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. 25 For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it. 26 For what will it profit them if they gain the whole world but forfeit their life? Or what will they give in return for their life?

Luke 14:25 Now large crowds were traveling with him; and he turned and said to them, 26 “Whoever comes to me and does not hate(Holy hate, to love God more) father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple. 27 Whoever does not carry the cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.
 
I’m so glad you talked to her. A mother’s love knows no end. I’m sure she truly wants for you whatever will make you happy. God Bless you!
 
There are many ways to fulfill a religious vocation for example there are:consecrated virgins, monastic life, contemplative religious, apostolic institutes, diocesan hermits, secular institutes, aggregated institutes, and societies of apostolic life.

The distinctions among the various forms of Consecrated Life are important, especially for one discerning a call to consecrated life. A form might be characterized by its relation to the world, by whether it is lived in community or individually, and by whether it is more active or more contemplative.

Key differences between consecrated virgins and religious (men or women) include, first, that consecrated virgins live in the world and not in community; also, they do NOT make vows, but, rather, are consecrated for life. According to the Rite of Consecration to a Life of Virginity, it is “a solemn rite constituting the candidate a sacred person, a surpassing sign of the Church’s love for Christ and an eschatological image of the world to come and the glory of the heavenly Bride of Christ.” Thus it is open only to women because they alone can physically image a bride.

Members of secular institutes and aggregated institutes are people who make a public profession of vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience. Secular institutes and aggregated institutes are Catholic organizations that function much like religious communities of priests, brothers, or sisters, though usually without a house or building of any kind. Most members of secular/aggregated institutes do not live together—though some do—and they lead their normal lives “in the world” while dedicating themselves to God.

A Diocesan Hermit is one who is directly vowed to Obedience (as well as Poverty and Chastity) to a diocesan bishop. It is similar to the distinction between a “diocesan priest” and a “religious priest.”

A society of apostolic life is a group of men or women within the Catholic Church who have come together for a specific purpose and live fraternally. Members make vows or other bonds defined in their constitutions to undertake to live the evangelical counsels of poverty, chastity, and obedience.
 
Oh and one other things besides all these varieties of vowed life, one might consider third orders
such as Secular Franciscans where the members are free to marry or not while professing promises
to live in accordance with gospel.
 
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