Yeah, you’re in a relationship when you both agree that you are, although that doesn’t necessarily need to be verbal or contain any specific words, which is what adds to the confusion. Basically, some people think it’s free game unless you make an explicit contract. The thing is even contracts you can make without opening your mouth.
Anyway, if you act like a couple, then you are a couple. But if you just go out to places (coffee, park, cinema, whatever), don’t profess your feelings, don’t engage in any couples behaviour (holding hands, kissing on the lips, other things that friends in the western civilisation generally don’t do when they are really just friends), then for all you know she might as well have a boyfriend.
You may get conflicting advice. The one part is “take it slowly”. Yeah, savour life, don’t do anything stupid, don’t rush the girl etc. The other part is that you can get friend-zoned if you don’t make a move quickly enough. I suspect in the case of some women you can get friend zoned if you don’t kiss her on the first date even, or some similar expectations of a a fast move that if you don’t make, then you’re as good as a cold fish. This said, every woman is different, just like every man is. So do what you believe to be right, just don’t be stupid. Try to get some more information on her perhaps? If you’re confident “it’s she”, then go for it. But I don’t know what you’re looking for. If you’re looking for a good catch it’s different from looking to fall in love (as in if you think you need to be in love, you’d better make sure you are before you commit). People take relationships in various different ways.
