Age difference

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blue_skies_1

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I’ve recently met a really nice, Catholic man & I like him a lot but I’m concerned about the age difference between us - he is twelve years older than me (I’m 22). Do you think it would be a problem?
 
There are LOTS of threads on here about age differences in marriage… so maybe do a search to ease your mind.

My husband and I just celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary… and we have 3 beautiful children… all despite the fact that I married a “dirty old man” who’s 10 years older than me… :o 😛 😃

Age means nothing. 😉
 
blue_skies said:
I’ve recently met a really nice, Catholic man & I like him a lot but I’m concerned about the age difference between us - he is twelve years older than me (I’m 22). Do you think it would be a problem?
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No…my husband is 10 yrs older than me, and we married when I was close to 23. If he loves the Lord, treats you with respect and kindness, and you enjoy his company, I wouldn’t let age stand in the way of seeing where a relationship might lead with him. God bless, good luck to you!
 
JMJ

I wouldn’t worry about age so much. Is he a good orthodox man? How does he feel about Mass? Is he a daily communicant? About kids…how does he feel…could you be a stay at home mom…homeschooling…breastfeeding…discipline…daily family prayer…contraceptives…lots of things to discuss that are more important than age.

Just my thoughts as a married man with children.
 
I guess this is your first age gap relationship and you are being anxious. 12 years is not that bad but I would not dismiss issues that might be associated with different life experiences. This kind of relationships is not for everyone. Just date him and see where it goes.
 
blue_skies said:
I’ve recently met a really nice, Catholic man & I like him a lot but I’m concerned about the age difference between us - he is twelve years older than me (I’m 22). Do you think it would be a problem?
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My aunt married a man 25 years older than her, stayed with him until he died (I don’t know how long that was) but said that she loved him a lot, they were very happy, and she has no regrets.
 
Ever see High Noon? Grace Kelly and Gary Cooper were 28 years apart, but the directors didn’t see a problem casting them as husband and wife (1952).

Maybe this is more of a modern obsession about being almost the same age 🤷
 
Thank you for the replies… I’m rather excited about it all, with the slight caveat that he appears to be the ‘perfect’ Catholic whereas I’ve got a sexual past, as I mentioned on this forum before… :o I suppose we’ll just have to cross that bridge if/when if arrives but I’m nervous about it already!
Any general tips for dealing with the age gap by the way, from those in marriages or relationships where one is considerably older? thanks 👍
 
My brother is 42 and his wife is 26. Age shouldn’t matter.
Kathy
 
blue_skies said:
Any general tips for dealing with the age gap by the way, from those in marriages or relationships where one is considerably older? thanks 👍
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17.5 years between us.

Have friends with 25 year and 30 year gaps between them - very happy marriages.

I’ll send you a PM if interested. The only age issues we encountered were probably our different reactions to medical confirmation that we are permanently childless and that wasn’t so much “age” as “stage in life”.
 
blue_skies said:
… I’m rather excited about it all, with the slight caveat that he appears to be the ‘perfect’ Catholic whereas I’ve got a sexual past, as I mentioned on this forum before…:
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So . . .has this perfect young man been living in a closet his whole life, or in a seminary, or had girlfriends, or married and divorced? He must have some kind of a past as well, we all do, and if not one wonders why. Not trying to be negative, but there’s a lot of room for discussion there.
 
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redpepper:
I guess this is your first age gap relationship and you are being anxious. 12 years is not that bad but I would not dismiss issues that might be associated with different life experiences. This kind of relationships is not for everyone. Just date him and see where it goes.
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In my view, an age difference of this size shouldn’t be the determinent of whether you continue your relationship or determine where it ends (eg marriage, a parting of the ways, a lifelong platonic friendship).

Yes, people with a twelve year age difference will have grown up in different times, remember different movies, maybe like different music but is this what determines compatibility? If so, it’s not in my view a good basis for any deep relationship.
 
12 years isn’t bad. I think my grandparents (Dad’s parents) had roughly that much of a gap between them. And my cousin married one of her university professors (after she’d finished her studies of course) and I think again there is that much of an age difference if not more.

As for your parents … pfft … it’s not like he’s THEIR age or anything 🤷
 
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