Agnostic and Atheist Friends

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Eaglejet23

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Hello to anyone who reads this I give great thanks for who read and respond to this. I have recently been having a troubling feeling about what I should do with my friend group. Most of them are skeptics, agnostics, and atheists but for the most part, they have treated my religion with respect. Occasionally, my friends will make a joke about God or religion that was offensive but I would shrug it off(I wasn’t into God and religion as much back then). That being said I recently went to my Church and the pastor pulled aside and said “one of my friends is leading me away from God.” In time a friend I constantly prayed for, who I believe God has a special plan since he went through so much, has read the satanic Bible(I’m assuming from the new satanic) and gotten more vocal about his religious views. I think I can conclude that he has no interest in God or religion for it impedes his right to self govern. He says religion is to binding and etc and I say he almost believes in materialism and scientism. I also must say that he’s become more mocking towards God and religion. I’ll give an example if I had a kid and my friend was an uncle like figure he would say, “that God guy doesn’t exist.” Perhaps he meant in a joking way but I’m not laughing, in fact, I’m starting to think that he’ll never respond to God’s grace. I’m starting to think that praying that he does will contradict his desires and freewill and if that’s the case should I leave our 5-year friendship and how. It’s frustrating none of my non-believing friends, aside from one, have an inkling or desire to understand or look for truth due to lack of motivation or because it impedes their happiness.
 
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Disclaimer - I am an agnostic.

The best way to think about this is that you’ve changed, not your friends. You’ve become stronger/more interested in your faith, and they’re the same as they always were. I understand that you want your friends to listen to you and accept your religion as their own, but that is unrealistic. People need to walk their own path at their own pace. You can’t make your friends live the life you want them to.

It sounds to me like getting stronger in your own faith has made your friend double down on what he believes, and that’s actually quite normal. He’s probably getting more vocal because you are too. It might be that he feels a little judged by you so he’s decided to judge you back. Maybe he feels a little insecure because you have very different opinions to him and that makes him uncomfortable. Perhaps you can agree to take a break discussing religion and think back on what made you become friends in the first place.
 
You shouldn’t have close friendships with worldly people that aren’t evangelistic in nature like Jesus had with sinners including us (He draws close to us to make us love Him not just for no reason, there is always a reason and people miss this when you say that you shouldn’t have close friendships with worldly people, if it isn’t for the soul it’s bad company). Don’t despair, you’ve barely prayed for him (it hasn’t even been 10 years). Fast and pray for him and God will do what God wants to do. You haven’t lived long enough to see what grace can do in a life like that (we must think of blocks of 10, 40, 60 years of praying, my mom prayed for my aunt to be saved and converted and it took 9 years, it worked, she also didn’t speak to her for that whole time even when she had cancer for the benefit of her soul because she was bad company and wordly), so pray and make sacrifices for him, but don’t be around them without reason
 
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In my experience it is easier for a believing Catholic to relate to people who think about religion (such as Moslems or atheists) than those who frankly don’t care, or don’t care much (often agnostics or non practising Catholics).
 
Except that is the opposite in my case, it seems that atheists seem not to care about religion but the agnostic does.
 
Yeah, I understand we became friends in high school when I was pretty liberal with my beliefs and insecure about them. I, unfortunately, couldn’t find many religious people to hang out with they were either opposed to or not interested in religion.
 
In order to be a proper atheist you have to have considered the counter arguments properly. The discussion is intellectually tough and the atheist position commands respect precisely because it has been thought through.

Most agnostic are not interested at all; they are not taking a position and aren’t normally deeply interested.
 
Hello, welcome to the forums.
Are you Catholic? Your profile says “Christian” which often signals a Protestant.
I’ll be answering this from the Catholic perspective since this is a Catholic forum.
Eaglejet23 said:
Most of them are skeptics, agnostics, and atheists but for the most part, they have treated my religion with respect.
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Generally, if unbelieving friends treat your religion, and the religions of others, with respect, then that’s enough. Not everybody is going to believe like you do, and some people may eventually convert but it could take them years to do it and might not even happen until they’re at the point of death. In the meantime we can have positive interactions with people and take advantage of opportunities to evangelize, such as by being kind and loving, setting a good example, and answering any respectful questions they ask about our faith.
Eaglejet23 said:
That being said I recently went to my Church and the pastor pulled aside and said “one of my friends is leading me away from God.” In that, a time a friend I constantly prayed for, who I believe God has a special plan since he went through so much, has read the satanic Bible(I’m assuming from the new satanic) and gotten more vocal about his religious views…I also must say that he’s become more mocking towards God and religion.
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In the Catholic Church, the average pastor is not pulling someone aside and telling them their friend is leading them away from God, unless the person has discussed this with their pastor in a private conversation, or the person is running around with a known gang leader and the priest is trying to save them from getting arrested or messing up their life. Catholic priests usually don’t monitor the friendships of individuals in their congregation for various reasons, a main one being most parishes are too big for that and the priest doesn’t have time to follow each person’s life individually.

However, it seems like in this case you are not comfortable with your friend reading the Satanic Bible and getting more vocally anti-religious. Since this is not something you’re comfortable with, it’s time to distance yourself from this person and maybe just pray for them from a distance.
Eaglejet23 said:
It’s frustrating none of my non-believing friends, aside from one, have an inkling or desire to understand or look for truth due to lack of motivation or because it impedes their happiness.
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Friendships are often frustrating for many reasons, including this one. Your friends can still be good people for sharing social activities; maybe not so good for having deep discussions about God, the universe, and everything. However, if you would like to make friends with some people who are more devout, look into whether your church has any groups or activities you could join in order to meet people your own age who might become your friends. If you are Catholic there may also be groups or activities at the diocese level.
 
Well, it depends on how serious you think the new atheist is because that’s their philosophy. The agnostic however is into philosophy and more interested in finding out the truth and purpose of life.
 
Honestly, I don’t think anyone can make blanket statements about agnostics or atheists and how interested they are in faith. It’s really something that’s personal to each individual. I’ll also say that arguments, debating and philosophy can only go so far. Faith is faith for a reason, after all.
Tis_Bearself said:
Friendships are often frustrating for many reasons, including this one. Your friends can still be good people for sharing social activities; maybe not so good for having deep discussions about God, the universe, and everything. However, if you would like to make friends with some people who are more devout, look into whether your church has any groups or activities you could join in order to meet people your own age who might become your friends. If you are Catholic there may also be groups or activities at the diocese level.
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Completely agree with this.
 
I’m not Catholic or Protestant. I was protestant but I left a while ago since it failed to answers some questions I had. That being I still hold to the truth that there’s a God and that God is Jesus Christ. That being I’ve been researching Catholicism and have grown a great respect for it. I’m not uncomfortable with my friend reading the Satanic Bible, since modern-day satanic are really humanists trying to annoy religious people. I’m more uncomfortable with the fact that there’s a bigger clash in beliefs than I expected, and it seems like the clash of beliefs is getting bigger over time. I feel like I could be the best example of a Christian, but that doesn’t mean anything if they view the God of the Bible as a restrictive and immoral monster.
 
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Sometimes when people start to get older and worry about things like “what if I have a child and my friend makes this kind of remark in front of my child”, etc, they decide it’s time to find some new friends who are more supportive of their beliefs. A 14-year-old is not thinking about having and raising their own children; a 20-year-old may well be.

It’s a normal process of growth to sometimes “outgrow” your friends and feel a need to seek others more in tune with you.
 
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In order to be a proper atheist you have to have considered the counter arguments properly. The discussion is intellectually tough and the atheist position commands respect precisely because it has been thought through.
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Atheism is a lack of belief in gods/deities. That’s it. One’s reasoning to and from atheism is irrelevant. Atheists are a very diverse group and anyone that doesn’t believe in God/gods can call themselves one and be completely right in doing so. Whether or not they command your respect for coming to that conclusion in a way you deem sufficient means nothing.

edit: I’m not attempting a personal attack here, this is just a long time pet peeve of mine.
  1. You likely know atheists in real life and like them as people.
  2. Most atheists aren’t like the villains in a Chick Tract.
  3. Being an atheist doesn’t magically make one a critical thinker nor does it mean one has any grasp of logic.
  4. Being an atheist doesn’t make one more intelligent.
  5. People are atheists for a variety of reasons, some of which are purely emotional.
  6. Atheists don’t deserve to be demonized or condescended to.
  7. Too many people confuse the various reasons for being an atheist for what atheism actually is.
  8. Most atheists are still very much a part of the culture they were born into, and are still influenced even by the religious aspects of it. I don’t know about you all, but I’ve met more than my share of Sola Scriptura atheists on-line, for example.
 
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Some of my best friends are agnostic, atheist, muslim, jewish and buddhist. All of my friends like me are sinners and I love them dearly and accept them as they respect and tolerate my beliefs and lack thereof as well.
 
Eaglejet23 said:
Hello to anyone who reads this I give great thanks for who read and respond to this.
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If any of your friends have honestly held beliefs that are different to yours, then treat them with repect. As you would want your beliefs to be treated.

If one of your friends is belittling your beliefs then tell him in a straightforward manner that you don’t appreciate it and you’d like him to stop.

If he does then it’s all good. If he doesn’t then tell him that it’s detrimental to your friendship and should he continue then you’re going to have to avoid him in the future.
 
CoffeeFanatic said:
I’ve met more than my share of Sola Scriptura atheists on-line,
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Haha! So true! I think this comes from US Protestantism and it has spread through media to the Anglo world. I am less popular on atheist forums than this one because I am constantly arguing with my fellow non-believers who are confused about Christians’ wide-ranging beliefs and who think biblical inconsistencies pose a problem for Catholics and other non-sola scriptura folks.
 
CoffeeFanatic said:
Atheism is a lack of belief in gods/deities. That’s it. One’s reasoning to and from atheism is irrelevant. Atheists are a very diverse group and anyone that doesn’t believe in God/gods can call themselves one and be completely right in doing so.
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I would call that a very loose definition, placing a lot of people under this tent.

Atheism, according to the dictionary, is “the doctrine or belief that there is no God.” It is not a lack of belief. A lack of belief in God is, properly, agnosticism. Many agnostics are misidentified as atheists, but clear distinctions can be made.
 
Yes, as I said, it is one definition of atheism, but it is very loose and designed to encompass people who aren’t really atheists under a single label. I am not sure that they all appreciate being lumped in together.

I would have become very irate if you’d called me an atheist during my period of disbelief. I definitely was never an atheist, so please don’t throw dictionaries at me.
 
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You stated that your view of atheism was ‘according to the dictionary’ and I showed you that mine is as well.
 
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