Agonizing Decision. Advice sought

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Lulu1 said:
If this person has one on one contact with children then I believe that it is could be a problem that may need to be addressed by a committee or board with the individual.
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Why? The OP said this person is gay, not that he’s a pedophile.
 
Many people could be impacted in a situation like this. It is most certainly not the kind of thing to decided in an afternoon. [Not that you were doing that] What I would suggest, is to turn the whole thing over to God and ask him for advice.

My life is none of my business. Anytime I take control, it ends in disaster, so, I would do some novenas, yes, even get advice on a Catholic forum, but I most certainly proceed with the greatest caution. I would vet my own actions carefully. No hidden message here, not trying to sway you one way or another.

Ask the Lord, what he would have you do, say or think and take your time. This situation isn’t going anywhere soon.
Pax
 
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I have been a Catholic music minister (NOT a paid music director, nor would I want to be) in 15 parishes in over 35 years. I have moved around a bit and in some places I was a music minister in multiple parishes at the same time.

I have encountered music directors I believed strongly to be gay. I have also encountered music directors who supported the use of music that was not approved, and should not have been approved, by the Church. I have encountered music directors who do not follow the diocese policy on the “Protecting God’s Children” program. I have raised concerns, but I won’t get into those stories because they are off-point.

What I can say is that music directors tend to wield a lot of power in some parishes. If you think the senior priest knows about this, I strongly suspect based on experience that your are right. At the very least, he suspects. If that is true, I would strongly suspect the parish council at least suspects. That means your parish is at least tacitly OK with it, for whatever reason.

If all that is true, be prepared. You WILL make enemies bringing it up and you are not likely to succeed in getting anything done about it. Surprising, I know, but I have been there. You may have to change parishes, as I did. That doesn’t mean don’t do it. It means know what you are getting in to.
 
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Even Catholic schools who have fired employees for entering into same-sex marriages have gotten a lot of flak about it.
 
I try not to judge others. That is just my way of dealing with others.
I would suggest that you pray on things. I believe in the power of prayers.
 
If you would have read my next comment you would have understood! I was trying to shock and show that someone like this holds no threat, and to treat them as if they do is just feeding into the stereotyping! You will never know who is gay, straight or even a pedophile. So, you cannot treat anyone differently than anyone else and I do not believe God would want you to!
 
In our parish, the gay music minister helped lead the children’s choir (part of the job description). During a practice when no other adults were around (BIG no-no!), he told the children about his “husband” and that they were trying to adopt a child.

Many of the children went home and told their parents, and the parents were justifiably upset. Even though the gay lobby is trying real hard to make LBGTQ a “normal” thing, it isn’t. And kids sense that something isn’t normal, but they lack the adult understanding to be able to process too much information. (The same thing would happen if children were exposed too early in their development to overt heterosexuality.)

The parents were furious that their children had been exposed to this teaching before they had a chance to filter it.

And thankfully, our diocese had the guts to confront the music minister and when he made it clear that he would not renounce his “marriage” (this was before gay marriage was legal, so it was also a breaking of the law), and embrace celibacy, as the Church states clearly in the Catechism, they would terminate his employment.

As you can imagine, the media went insane over this. People disrupted our Masses, and we lost a fairly large number of parishioners who made it clear that they would no longer attend a church that was so bigoted. (Had they never read the Bible or the Catechism?)

But the diocese held firm. As it turned out, the music minister was offered employment the very next day after his termination by a local “inclusive” church, that probably paid him more money. Eventually he moved to an area of the country that is very “gay-friendly” with a large Boy Town, and has been very successful professionally, both in his church ministry and in his concert career. So it all worked out well for him.

The point is, children should not be exposed to non-traditional sexuality (or for that matter, ANY sexuality!) when they are too young to process it. When it comes to sexuality, children need to be guided from birth throughout their development by their parents and by parent-approved teachers who are teaching sexuality from the same theological viewpoint as their parents. .

The music minister was totally out-of-place to talk to the children about his “marriage” when his employers didn’t even know about it. It was a dirty trick, and again, I believe this was plotted by gay activists.
 
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Children should never be exposed to any of these things until an appropriate age! And, sometimes that varies upon the child. I don’t think you can have across the board ruled because there are too many variables, I think it should be a case by case system handled with tact and not bias and judgment.
 
Lulu1 said:
So, then what’s the problem? These people aren’t even Catholic correct, they just play the music? What’s next, are you going to start questioning the lawn service people? Where does it end?
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It begins and ends with ministry. There’s a difference, in the context of a Catholic parish, between someone who acts as a ‘minister’ and someone who’s contracted to provide a service. Those who work in ministry are expected to be examples of living their lives according to the teachings of the Church. For someone who’s a Catholic, it should be easy, right? (:roll_eyes:) But, for someone who seeks employment in ministerial work in the Church, then living according to Church teachings is part and parcel of the job.

That’s what “Cardinal’s Clauses” do – they affirm the expectation that employees in ministerial roles will not publicly contradict the Church’s teachings by the witness of their lives.

There are two important points to note, in the context of the present discussion:
  • First, this doesn’t mean that those who identify as homosexuals cannot take employment with the Church. What is being asked, however, is that they don’t give witness to lifestyle choices in conflict with the Church. Generally speaking, folks don’t go around asking “is she living with her boyfriend?” or “is he in a same-sex marriage with his partner?”… but, if a person makes public witness to their lifestyle, then there’s the possibility that the Cardinal’s Clause has been breached.
  • Second, this doesn’t mean that we’re afraid of any untoward sexual advances. This isn’t homophobia. Rather, it’s a desire to have our ministers act in ways that are in concord with Church teaching.
So, in answer to your question: yeah, there’s a difference between ministry and lawn service, and there are certain expectations for those who make their living in ministry in the Catholic Church.
 
Peeps said:
And thankfully, our diocese had the guts to confront the music minister and when he made it clear that he would not renounce his “marriage” (this was before gay marriage was legal, so it was also a breaking of the law), and embrace celibacy, as the Church states clearly in the Catechism, they would terminate his employment.
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How could this music minister have been married before it was legal? Maybe he got married in another state where it was legal. Otherwise, where would he have gotten a marriage license? If he did, this wouldn’t be against the law even in a state where same-sex marriage wasn’t legal yet. That state just wouldn’t have recognized his marriage from another state.
 
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