Alternate readings/traditions for wedding mass?

[His_helpmeet]

One beautiful tradition that you might consider is that of offering your bouquet to Our Lady. It used to be a tradition that the bride would place her bouquet at the foot of the statue of Our Lady, to ask for her assistance to be a good wife. If you don’t want to use your primary bouquet, you could ask your florist to prepare a smaller one, similar to a “throwing bouquet”. Your fiance could light a candle at the statue of St. Joseph. However, it is my understanding that these actions are to occur at the end of the ceremony and would likely be best suited to occur after the recessional.

 

[PatriceA]

One beautiful tradition that you might consider is that of offering your bouquet to Our Lady. It used to be a tradition that the bride would place her bouquet at the foot of the statue of Our Lady, to ask for her assistance to be a good wife. If you don’t want to use your primary bouquet, you could ask your florist to prepare a smaller one, similar to a “throwing bouquet”. Your fiance could light a candle at the statue of St. Joseph. However, it is my understanding that these actions are to occur at the end of the ceremony and would likely be best suited to occur after the recessional.

Also depends upon when the priest would like to incorporate into the ceremony. Our priest had it scheduled before the final blessing. His direction, not ours.

 

[aemcpa]

This was something my husband and I considered when planning our liturgy. We took a lot of time choosing the readings from what was provided to us. In the end, we did choose the more well-known readings. They really were just beautiful. Music-wise, we did something “different” than what most couples do. We had the choir we sang in sing for the mass. We asked and was permitted to have the Kyrie and Gloria (not usually used for the nuptial mass). All of the sung mass parts were in Latin, either chanted or was polyphonic sung only by the choir and quietly sung by my husband and I. . You can hear us, though, in the raw footage of our dvd where my husband wore the lapel mic.

The Kyrie and Gloria aren’t usually used for the Nuptial Mass?

 

[agapewolf]

The Kyrie and Gloria aren’t usually used for the Nuptial Mass?

I’ve heard now that there is no penitential rite, but there is a Gloria.

 

[Sarabande]

The Kyrie and Gloria aren’t usually used for the Nuptial Mass?

No. Very often they aren’t. In fact, out of the 100+ Catholic weddings I’ve ever cantored, the Kyrie and Gloria was never recited or sung.

 

[Sarabande]

I’ve heard now that there is no penitential rite, but there is a Gloria.

Oh, that’s nice to know. I do love the Gloria, so it would be nice to hear it recited or sung at weddings.

 

[aemcpa]

No. Very often they aren’t. In fact, out of the 100+ Catholic weddings I’ve ever cantored, the Kyrie and Gloria was never recited or sung.

 

[Filii_Dei]

Our diocese gives very clear guidelines. In fact, our commission on liturgy has written a letter on this very subject clearly prohibiting the so-called unity candle ceremony from being performed within the mass. Clearly it is not canonically binding on those outside my diocese, but it carries a very clear line of logic that no reasonable individual should ignore.

The full letter can be read here, but I would like to quote certain choice excerpts. Emphasis mine.

This candle-lighting ceremony by the bride and groom during marriage services has been practiced in Singapore for quite some time, without – as far as we know - any approval from the Archbishop. We know also that some celebrants refuse to do it, confusing the parties concerned, who may be convinced – mistakenly - that it is part of the marriage rite There are also quite a number of different versions around, copied (sometimes badly or with questionable alterations) from one marriage booklet to another.

A - We need to refer to the answer given by the Congregation for the Discipline of the Sacraments to a query from the USA:

“Certain rites, having roots in the tradition of a particular people and which authentically express Gospel values pertaining to marriage, may be inserted at appropriate points in the Rite of Marriage. Such gestures should not be included within the celebration of the rite if they do not appear at least as an option within the Rite of Marriage which is approved by the Bishops and published with the recognitio of the Holy See for the territory in which the marriage is celebrated.

It is possible that other gestures might be carried out after the completion of the Rite and the final blessing or at a non-liturgical ceremony, such as a reception.

To insert into the Rite gestures which are not approved by the Conference of Bishops with the recognitio of the Holy See constitutes an abuse, even if perhaps well-intentioned. This custom (of the Wedding Candle) is not included as an option in the approved Rite of Marriage for the United States.” +Jorge A. Card. Medina Estevez, Prefect, Rome 29th Dec. 1999

Obviously, this “candle ceremony” – or anything similar, like what they do at Medjugorje -has been imported and is not “traditional” in Singapore. According to the ruling above, it cannot therefore be inserted anywhere within the Marriage Mass or Service. But after the final blessing, it is no more part of the Rite of Marriage and people can do anything they want

B - Most of the versions we have seen include a prayer of blessing of the “wedding-candle” and declarations, made by bride and groom in turn or together, that simply repeat – in a wordy manner, blah…blah… - what they have just said in the exchange of consents. Does it make sense? Is it really necessary?

They have also given an option for the blessing of such unity candles in a context outside of the Mass which is very Christ-centric and is probably better than most of the Protestant or atheist ones circulating out there. You may like to use it if you’re interested.

Also, my diocese has published a template that gives a variety of options for the choice of readings and prayers in the rite, but does not give complete liberty to the couple to choose whatever they wish. Inside, you will also find that the Gloria is prescribed and therefore mandatory. I’m not aware of the practice in your diocese, so it’s always better to confirm with them.