Alternatives to intercourse while pregnant?

[seeking_21]

I have a month old baby, am breastfeeding, and am currently not fertile. My husband I were not able to have intercourse the last few weeks of pregnancy, and will not be able to for a few more weeks.

My husband is not Catholic and does not fully accept/understand the Church’s teaching on birth control. I’m wondering if it is morally permissable to engage in other forms of sexual pleasuring during this time other than actual intercourse.

I understand one of the reasons birth control is wrong is that it interferes with the natural possibility of creating life, but since I am not presently fertile, this seems a moot point.

In addition, my husband has struggled with pornography in the past and is having a very difficult time presently avoiding it now since we have not been intimate with eachother for so long. Wouldn’t it be better for us to participate in non-intercourse forms of sex than to cause him to stumble in this way?

If you can help, I’m going to need some solid reasons why or why not this would be wrong, but I definitely want to stay within the Church’s teachings on the matter.

Thanks

 

[lifeisbeautiful]

Alternative: Being affectionate in chaste ways. Find other ways to channel your love for each other. I know it may be tough, but its worth it. Do everything you can to help your husband (prayer etc.) but remember, putting both of your souls in danger is not the solution.

I don’t have much time to post now, but I can tell you two things for sure:

1. Anything that would lead to climax outside of intercourse would be wrong (even if you don’t reach climax it could be wrong, but I don’t have time to go there now, I am sure other people can explain it to you and present resources). The unitive and the procreative aspects of the physical union must be present (and procreative can only be present if you complete the act as intercourse). You don’t have to become pregnant every time you participate in the marital act in order for it to be procreative. You just have to complete it in intercourse (without artificial impediments).
2. Just because you are breastfeeding does not mean you could not become pregnant. Even if conventional methods show you are not fertile, there is always even the slightest of chances that you could become pregnant, so it is not a moot point.

 

[1ke]

seeking_21:

I have a month old baby, am breastfeeding, and am currently not fertile. My husband I were not able to have intercourse the last few weeks of pregnancy, and will not be able to for a few more weeks.

My husband is not Catholic and does not fully accept/understand the Church’s teaching on birth control. I’m wondering if it is morally permissable to engage in other forms of sexual pleasuring during this time other than actual intercourse.

No, this is not morally licit. It is an improper use of your sexual faculties. The Catechism is quite clear on this point:

2351 Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.

2352 By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. “Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action.”

seeking_21:

I understand one of the reasons birth control is wrong is that it interferes with the natural possibility of creating life, but since I am not presently fertile, this seems a moot point.

This is not accurate. Each act of intercourse must be open to life, meaning it is not objectively altered. Therefore, to engage in a sterile act such as masterbation is itself disordered (see Catechism references above).

seeking_21:

In addition, my husband has struggled with pornography in the past and is having a very difficult time presently avoiding it now since we have not been intimate with eachother for so long. Wouldn’t it be better for us to participate in non-intercourse forms of sex than to cause him to stumble in this way?

No, sin is sin. To choose one sin over another misses the point and does nothing towards spiritual maturity and self-control. I suggest www.dads.org for help with pornography addiction.

seeking_21:

If you can help, I’m going to need some solid reasons why or why not this would be wrong, but I definitely want to stay within the Church’s teachings on the matter.

I suggest that you refer to this entire section of the Catechims involving the Sixth Commandment:

christusrex.org/www1/CDHN/sixth.html#OFFENSES

Also, perhaps get the book The Good News About Sex and Marriage by Christopher West.

Thanks

 

[lifeisbeautiful]

lifeisbeautiful:

Alternative: Being affectionate in chaste ways. Find other ways to channel your love for each other. I know it may be tough, but its worth it. Do everything you can to help your husband (prayer etc.) but remember, putting both of your souls in danger is not the solution.

I don’t have much time to post now, but I can tell you two things for sure:

1. Anything that would lead to climax outside of intercourse would be wrong (even if you don’t reach climax it could be wrong, but I don’t have time to go there now, I am sure other people can explain it to you and present resources). The unitive and the procreative aspects of the physical union must be present (and procreative can only be present if you complete the act as intercourse). You don’t have to become pregnant every time you participate in the marital act in order for it to be procreative. You just have to complete it in intercourse (without artificial impediments).
2. Just because you are breastfeeding does not mean you could not become pregnant. Even if conventional methods show you are not fertile, there is always even the slightest of chances that you could become pregnant, so it is not a moot point.

BTW, Even if you weren’t fertile for sure, it would still not be a moot point (its not relevant at this point, but just wanted to make sure I didn’t leave that out)
I wish you the best.

Remember, doing what is right will be what is best for you and your spouse.