Alzheimer's

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Does anyone know anything about Alzheimer’s disease or senile dementia? My mom seems to be getting stranger lately; ie.remembers nothing I’ve told her, thinks everything is about her, a constant need to be the center of attention, yelling at me.

On Christmas night, after what I thought was a nice day; I picked her up at 8:30 A.M., made sure she got to Mass, opened presents with her, fed her, helped her do everything, (she’s in a wheelchair), I got her in the car to drive her home. After a couple of blocks, she started yelling at me and telling me that I was a miserable mother and didn’t help my kids and treated them abominably. I told her I resented her yelling at me and my kids were my business not hers. She started yelling again and said they were her business and I was miserable. My kids are 25, 24, 15 yr. old twins, and 10. This really hurt, especially since I don’t know where it came from. It was really hard to continue taking her home, making sure she got into bed alright, etc. In my head this mantra kept playing “Love is an action, not a feeling” because I didn’t feel particularly loving at this point.

Could this be something really wrong with her? She is almost 87 yrs. old.
 
Hi,

You have to realise that your mother is getting on in years and it is not uncommon for their memory to wander on them, as I am not a medical doctor you would need to talk your mothers physician about your concerns. My father 77 and is begining to forget things and loose his temper; they say it comes to us all at some point in time.

But I would address your concerns about your mother to her physician and I will keep you both in my prayers.

Yours in the Spirit

Pious
 
Hi Moira,
A really good article came out early December that might help you. The researchers say that the sense of smell diminishes during the early stages of Alzheimers.
newsday.com/news/health/ny-hsalz154084335dec15,0,5814178.story?coll=ny-health-headlines
They write:
More recently, they’ve narrowed the test to the smells that best predicted Alzheimer’s. Inability to identify smoke topped the list. The others were menthol, leather, lilac, pineapple, soap, strawberry, natural gas, lemon and clove. Devanand said he is not sure why these smells are more often lost to memory impairment.

Richard Doty, director of the University of Pennsylvania’s Smell and Taste Center and the scientist who developed the 40-item smell test, said the olfactory, or smell, pathways in the brain rest upon the same area damaged in the early stages of the disease. This area, the entorhinal cortex, is often measured when brain scans are used to confirm Alzheimer’s.
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moira:
Does anyone know anything about Alzheimer’s disease or senile dementia? My mom seems to be getting stranger lately; ie.remembers nothing I’ve told her, thinks everything is about her, a constant need to be the center of attention, yelling at me.
 
I work in a nursinghome with demented old people as a caregiver and looking at your story it could be dementia but I am not an expert so I would also suggest you talk to her physician.
Wishing you a lot of strength and will keep you both in my prayers.

Emmy
 
Absolutely insist that she be seen by a doctor. Dementia (significant loss of previously attained mental ability) is not an inevitable part of aging. Not only are there immediately treatable causes of dementia–a urinary tract infection can cause mental instability in older people!–but there are even treatments for Alzheimer’s and other irreversible dementias that can slow the process of cognitive loss by as much as two years.

Do not delay, and if possible have her seen at a clinic that specializes in geriatrics. Dementia causes terrible suffering. Don’t consent to let it take over when it could be prevented.
 
get her to a geriatric specialist for a complete medical workup, beginning with evaluation of all her medications, prescribed, OTC, herbals, vitamins, teas, supplements anything that goes in her mouth, including her overall diet. Many older women weighing 100 lbs are medication with dosages for a 220 lb man. having gone through this with relatives to numerous to mention, I always suspect overmedication first.

during this workup doc should look for signs of stroke or TIA, including taking bp at least twice in all 4 limbs.

remember, when she talks like that, it is not her, it is some disease process speaking. just love her, even if all you can cling to is memories, just love her and forgive her, she knows not what she is doing.
 
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puzzleannie:
remember, when she talks like that, it is not her, it is some disease process speaking. just love her, even if all you can cling to is memories, just love her and forgive her, she knows not what she is doing.
Absolutely. If it turns out that she is getting a progressive dementia, do all you can to learn what to expect, how to deal with the symptoms effectively, how to help her and the family come to accept the diagnosis, and find out as much as possible what her wishes are while she still has some good decision-making ability left–both for her sake and your own.
 
Thank you all. I guess a doctor visit is in order. She has lost 5 pounds in the last few weeks and possibly her medications (she has several) are at the wrong dosage. Her yelling at me came out of the blue and hurt me but I’ll try to remember that she’s not usually like that. It’s kind of hard to watch your mother fade away. She used to be my confidant and now I can’t talk to her anymore. She’s not the same person she once was. Please keep us in your prayers. Thank you.
 
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moira:
Thank you all. I guess a doctor visit is in order. She has lost 5 pounds in the last few weeks and possibly her medications (she has several) are at the wrong dosage. Her yelling at me came out of the blue and hurt me but I’ll try to remember that she’s not usually like that. It’s kind of hard to watch your mother fade away. She used to be my confidant and now I can’t talk to her anymore. She’s not the same person she once was. Please keep us in your prayers. Thank you.
As fast as this happened, I suspect that chances are very high that her symptoms are due to a reversible cause. God bless you both and good luck… and remember, lose no time. Call a doctor now. With her symptoms, a geriatric doc would probably be willing to see her the same day, or else send her straight to an emergency department. Some of the things (such as infections) that can do that to an 87 year old can also kill them!

As an aside for everyone else: a very sudden and severe mental status change is one of the warning signs of a stroke, as is a headache of unprecedented severity. In that case, get them to an emergency department ASAP–regardless of their age. Strokes and brain anerurisms happen to young people. With a stroke, time lost is brain lost.
 
Dear Moira,
Like you, I have been sad over my mother’s aging and found this prayer in a Marian prayer book that has helped. I hope by praying this it will bring you some comfort like it has me.

Lord, seeing my parents age has been hard for me. I struggle to retain my view of them as they were when I was young. They seemed so strong and invincible, able to work endlessly, to love completely, to give selflessly. I made demands of them then, as does any growing child, sometimes being unreasonable, unappreciative, and selfish. Now the tables are turned. My parents seem set in their ways, unwilling to bend much, unable to give much. Their bodies are weakened and their energy limited. This is my time to demonstrate my love for them-- to overlook their moods and comments, to respect their insistence on doing things their way. I pray for my parents, my lifelong friends. May they find your solace and strength within them. In the name of Your mother, Mary, I pray that all of us-- spouses, children, and relatives-- who never knew my parents as they were. Help us to love the elderly in the understanding, undemanding way You love each of us.
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moira:
Thank you all. I guess a doctor visit is in order. She has lost 5 pounds in the last few weeks and possibly her medications (she has several) are at the wrong dosage. Her yelling at me came out of the blue and hurt me but I’ll try to remember that she’s not usually like that. It’s kind of hard to watch your mother fade away. She used to be my confidant and now I can’t talk to her anymore. She’s not the same person she once was. Please keep us in your prayers. Thank you.
 
monica fan:
Dear Moira,
Like you, I have been sad over my mother’s aging and found this prayer in a Marian prayer book that has helped. I hope by praying this it will bring you some comfort like it has me.

Lord, seeing my parents age has been hard for me. I struggle to retain my view of them as they were when I was young. They seemed so strong and invincible, able to work endlessly, to love completely, to give selflessly. I made demands of them then, as does any growing child, sometimes being unreasonable, unappreciative, and selfish. Now the tables are turned. My parents seem set in their ways, unwilling to bend much, unable to give much. Their bodies are weakened and their energy limited. This is my time to demonstrate my love for them-- to overlook their moods and comments, to respect their insistence on doing things their way. I pray for my parents, my lifelong friends. May they find your solace and strength within them. In the name of Your mother, Mary, I pray that all of us-- spouses, children, and relatives-- who never knew my parents as they were. Help us to love the elderly in the understanding, undemanding way You love each of us.
Thank you. That’s a beautiful prayer.
 
Hope this helps…

A man who, instead of avoiding and running away from sufferings of the heart produced by fear of eternal torment, willingly accepts them in his heart…will be determined, as he progresses, to tighten this bond ever more and more, and will thus advance more quickly. It will lead him to the presence of the King of kings. When this comes to pass, then, as soon as he sees, however dimly, the glory of God, his bonds - fear - will at once fall off, his executioner will hasten away and his hearts grief will turn into joy which will become in him a fountain of life or a spring for ever gushing forth: physically - rivers of tears; spiritually - peace, meekness and unspeakable delight, together with courage and free and unhindered readiness to strive towards every fulfillment of God’s commandments.
St. Simeon the New Theologian (Practical And Theological Precepts no. 69, Writings from the Philokalia on Prayer of the Heart; Faber and Faber, pgs. 112-113)

He who chooses to live well for eternity, will live in discomfort for the present. He will be subjected to all types of troubles and burdens as long as he is on earth, so that in the end he will have divine and heavenly consolation. On the other hand, he who chooses to live well for the present will fare badly in eternity.
Lactantius (260-330 AD) Institutes bk. 7, chap. 5)
 
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