Am I being overly scrupulous?

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bonica

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Yesterday I was talking with some friends and I told them a story about something that happened to me about 15 years ago. After I got home I got to thinking about it and I think I may have told them a small part of the story that was not exactly true (I’m not sure if I remember it right or not). Since then I keep having this thought come to my mind that I lied to them. Then I will think it wasn’t exactly a lie…or was it? I have thought maybe I should go to confession and then I have thought there is no need…this is really driving me crazy! Am I having a problem with scrupulocity? Anyone have any advice? :confused:

P.S. Maybe I should point out that this type of thing is an ongoing problem for me.
 
Lie: verb: To knowingly tell a mistruth in order to decieve.
Lie:noun: The statement made when one lies.

Since you weren’t knowingly telling a mistruth, it isn’t a lie. If the possible change in the story is significant in any way, just let your friends know that you don’t fully remember the situation. No biggy.

If this kind of thing is continuously bothering you, then yes, I’d say you have an overscrupulous (spellnot) conscience.

Others on the board can be more helpful with that then I.
 
your ok… if it continues to cause concern… mention it in confession… but get the story right this time… 😃
 
The more I think about it, the more I realize I did not intend to lie. Actually, as I mentioned before, I have been having similar “attacks of conscience” for some time. I believe this type of thing is actually attacks from the enemy. The reason I say this is because I have had the thought that if I just avoid contact with other people then I won’t have to worry about accidentally lying to them. Now that obviously isn’t a solution! That’s not even in line with my personality, as I am actually pretty extroverted. I guess I need to find a spiritual advisor…but how would I go about finding one?
 
You want a spiritual advisor?

GREAT IDEA! hehe…

To find one, start praying and ask God to show you who he wants to be your spiritual advisor. After a time, you’ll start to realize you have a special respect or trust for a certain member of the clergy. Ask him about it. He should be able to either be your spiritual director, or show you where to continue searching.

I’m suddenly reminded of something I told one of my friends when she was confused over something. Dunno if it has any application here though:

Trust God in all things. He’s guarded and watched over the world for the past 5000 years. What makes you think you’re powerful enough to screw it up?

Josh
 
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bonica:
The more I think about it, the more I realize I did not intend to lie. Actually, as I mentioned before, I have been having similar “attacks of conscience” for some time. I believe this type of thing is actually attacks from the enemy. The reason I say this is because I have had the thought that if I just avoid contact with other people then I won’t have to worry about accidentally lying to them. Now that obviously isn’t a solution! That’s not even in line with my personality, as I am actually pretty extroverted. I guess I need to find a spiritual advisor…but how would I go about finding one?
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Spiritual advisor: talk to your priest for a recommendation. Ordinarily, a spiritual advisor should have some training in order to act as one. Fr. Thomas Dubay has a good book on the topic.

Re: accidental lies - not a lie because you did not have the mens rea (mental state / intent) to lie. However, if you know you stated something that was untrue, and if that untruth can have further repercusions if left uncorrected, then you are under a duty to correct the untruth.
 
I am not even sure if it was untrue, that’s the thing.

What happened was I was telling them about a time when I was a teenager and my pastor (not Catholic) said something that was not very charitable. I told him (discreetly) that I didn’t think it was the right thing to say…but later, as I thought about it, I was not sure if I told the pastor himself or the intern pastor. I know I told one of them, though.

The story was not really about me telling the pastor anything, but more about pastors saying things that from the pulpit that are not right. This will not effect anyone because first of all the people I told about the situation don’t even know what church I was going to at the time or the names of people involved. They don’t even live in the area where it occurred.
 
You mean all stories about our past lives have to be strictly accurate? Where’s the entertainment value in that?

JimG
 
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JimG:
You mean all stories about our past lives have to be strictly accurate? Where’s the entertainment value in that?

JimG
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Um, well…in my opinion they should be.

I don’t try to make things sound more interesting than they actually were…but then stories from my life are entertaining enough without having to embelish them! 😃
 
In the MOST scrupulous analysis we might ask:


  1. *]Did you make a false statement?
    *]Did you intend to deceive?

    If you are uncertain about the event, and you had no intention to deceive then how could you be guilty of a sin? Even if you finally remember exactly what it was you said, and realize that it wasn’t exactly true, it would be difficult to see it as sinful based on #2. A false statement made with no intention to deceive is a mistake.

    People who make a lot of mistakes can be a problem because of their incompetence, but it’s hard to see them as sinners.
    People who never make any mistakes are a problem too, because of their pride, and it is easy to see them as sinners.

    You might try this. If you are uncomfortable with something you said, consider talking to the person who was there. Think about what you would say, and what his reaction would be. Would he think you were being silly. Now think about what you would say if that person came to you with the same story.

    If all else fails, take it to confession, but remember if the matter wasn’t grave, and if you didn’t consciously deceive it is no more than a venial sin, and maybe no sin at all.

    :blessyou:
    Charliemac
 
One of the sure signs of scrupulosity is vacillating between thinking something you did was a sin, then thinking it wasn’t, yes it was, no it wasn’t, yes it was, no it wasn’t, ad infinitum.

In your case you didn’t commit a grave sin because there was no deliberate consent on your part to tell an untruth. You may not even have committed a sin at all. Rest easy. If you are like this a lot (seems you are?) then other people’s advice to get a spirtitual advisor is dead-on correct. Preferably a priest who will also hear your confession at the same time.
 
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Charliemac:
You might try this. If you are uncomfortable with something you said, consider talking to the person who was there. Think about what you would say, and what his reaction would be. Would he think you were being silly. Now think about what you would say if that person came to you with the same story.
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That’s a good point. I’m sure they would think I was being silly.
 
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ktm:
One of the sure signs of scrupulosity is vacillating between thinking something you did was a sin, then thinking it wasn’t, yes it was, no it wasn’t, yes it was, no it wasn’t, ad infinitum.
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Yep, that’s me! :yup:
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ktm:
In your case you didn’t commit a grave sin because there was no deliberate consent on your part to tell an untruth. You may not even have committed a sin at all. Rest easy. If you are like this a lot (seems you are?) then other people’s advice to get a spirtitual advisor is dead-on correct. Preferably a priest who will also hear your confession at the same time.
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Yes, I am like this a lot. :o

Thanks to everyone for your advice.:blessyou:
 
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