Am I Being Scrupulous??

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Hello,
My priest thinks I’m bordering on scrupulousity…but I’m confused on this. I’m not able to enter confessions yet as I’m not yet baptised, but I worry about sinning and really try to do my best to please Jesus.I find it hard knowing that ‘my sins’ nailed our dear Lord to the Cross. Before my conversion I thought it was other peoples sins…not me. The pain Jesus went through for me, for all mankind is heartwrenching. I think of Christ’s Sorrowful Passion often, I never want to become complacent about all He went through for us. But my priest said I should focus more on Ressurection and not dwell on death so much.

Last week I hadn’t given my all in prayer, I’d neglected my rosary prayers all week when normally I’ll pray at least 5 out of 7 days,I prayed to our Lord daily but wasn’t giving my whole heart to Him and yesterday I felt as though Jesus were slipping away from me, in the reading at Mass yesterday I felt so convicted, so ashamed, and that I’ve let Jesus down .My heart was racing and I felt so fearful that God had closed the door on me forever.
I love Jesus and the thought of being seperated from Him frightens me but I also fear God and feel He’ll punish me…like in the Old Testament when He got pretty angry with people then.

I want to trust Jesus completely but I worry so much and don’t really trust Him, especially with other things going on in my life and then I fear I’ve let Jesus down because I can’t trust…but I’m finding this trust part really hard too.

I googled scrupulous attitudes and I don’t think I border on it, do you? Just want to say thankyou for reading my post,
 
Do not be surprised that you fall short of sinlessness; even St Peter denied the Lord three times on the same night he saw him arrested.

When Baptism comes, all your sins; both original and personal; will be washed away.

Bearing that in mind; even after Baptism, the suffering of the fallen world; and our concupiscence (inclination to sin) remain. This is why we have the Sacrament of Reconcilliation.

That said; you are being Scrupulous; forgetting to say your prayers soulfully, or forgetting to do a Rosary is not a Mortal Sin; as it does not meet the three requirements for Mortal Sin (gravity, consent & knowlege).

Remember this as your Baptism comes up, so you may look forward to it;

Romans 6 3-4: Or don’t you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? 4We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.

Do not concentrate on his Death, as much as his Rising to life; for that is the miracle, and just as Christ Dies; we die and are brought to new life through our Baptisms that we are freed from our sins.

👍
 
Hello,
My priest thinks I’m bordering on scrupulousity…but I’m confused on this. ,
the only person who can help you answer this is the priest who knows you, stick with his advice and stay off internet forums and discussions of your personal sins. this is the kindest most helpful advice you will receive here.
 
Hello,
My priest thinks I’m bordering on scrupulousity…but I’m confused on this. I’m not able to enter confessions yet as I’m not yet baptised, but I worry about sinning and really try to do my best to please Jesus.**
Even though you’re not yet baptized, you love Jesus and want to please Him. This already does please Him, even if you sometimes fail at what you set yourself to do.

****I find it hard knowing that ‘my sins’ nailed our dear Lord to the Cross. Before my conversion I thought it was other peoples sins…not me. The pain Jesus went through for me, for all mankind is heartwrenching. I think of Christ’s Sorrowful Passion often, I never want to become complacent about all He went through for us. **But my priest said I should focus more on Ressurection and not dwell on death so much.
**But it’s not ‘dwelling on death’ to often remember what Jesus suffered for love of us. That should make us feel grateful and want to love Him back and love other people since we know He loves them and died for them too.
**
Last week I hadn’t given my all in prayer, I’d neglected my rosary prayers all week when normally I’ll pray at least 5 out of 7 days,I prayed to our Lord daily but wasn’t giving my whole heart to Him and yesterday I felt as though Jesus were slipping away from me, in the reading at Mass yesterday I felt so convicted, so ashamed, and that I’ve let Jesus down .
I don’t think you’re scrupulous. I think you may need more guidance about what God wants you to do. It sounds as though you have set some goals for yourself and when you don’t meet them you feel like you let Jesus down. But really you let yourself down. Maybe He doesn’t require you to pray the rosary every day (although that’s a good way to pray).

**Is there someone you can ask to be your spiritual director, at least for now? It might be a priest, deacon, or sister. Or a lay person your priest could suggest. Just some more experienced person who could guide you a little and could give you more time than the priest can do in confession.
**
My heart was racing and I felt so fearful that God had closed the door on me forever. As long as you want to follow Him, He will never close the door. NEVER!

I love Jesus and the thought of being seperated from Him frightens me but **I also fear God and feel He’ll punish me…like in the Old Testament when He got pretty angry with people then. **

The Father sent Jesus to us to give us a way back to Him and to take away that fear. God is very very merciful. He doesn’t want anyone who comes to Him to be lost. He is patient. He is loving and forgiving, slow to anger, and rich in mercy.

I want to trust Jesus completely but I worry so much and don’t really trust Him, especially with other things going on in my life and then I fear I’ve let Jesus down because I can’t trust…but I’m finding this trust part really hard too.
Even i****f you sometimes have a hard time trusting God in everything, at least you can have great confidence in His mercy. Read a little about the message of Divine Mercy.

I googled scrupulous attitudes and I don’t think I border on it, do you?
**The priest doesn’t want you to get so upset about your failures. They mean that you’re human and not perfect. Keep trying but keep calm. They don’t mean you’ve lost God’s love.
**
Just want to say thankyou for reading my post,
 
If forgetting to pray regularly is the worst of your problems, then I think you’re doing a lot better than you think. Take it easy! Our Lord isn’t waiting to catch you with little faults. He loves you more than that.

Try a little prayer of offering in the morning and a prayer of thanksgiving in the evening until you are baptized, after that find a someone for spiritual direction to guide you into greater devotional practices. Just remember to keep everything balanced: work, prayer, family, etc. Perhaps you might look into a lay institute or secular group.

God’s peace,
 
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