Am I just forgetful or is it something more?

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im_wildrose

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I’m not even sure if this belongs in this forum but I wasn’t sure where else to put it. I don’t know if there is something truly wrong with me, if I’m just, by nature, forgetful, or if there is something else at work with me. I’ve always been forgetful (before you start thinking age, I’m only 32). I forget birthdays, appointments, you name it, I’ve forgotten it. I even forgot a court case I needed to go to once. My huband jokes that I’m the only person he knows who can go to the store for milk, come back with 10 other things, but forget the milk.

Anyway, on to more serious matters. I have been on a continuous journey to deepen my faith and live it more fully in many ways. One of these things has been to resolve to go to Confession more frequently (once a month as opposed to once every year or two). I chronically forget, however. I’ve even tried marking it down on my calender. I plan to go on Sat. I think about it all week. Then Sat. comes and goes, and I haven’t given it a thought all day and then feel terrible come Sunday. I don’t have any mortal sins to confess or anything but I want to gain strength from the grace I know I will earn by going. Plus I want to set a good example for my children.

This is just one example. I want to go to Adoration occasionally, but forget on the days when we have it at our parish. I want to start saying more prayers and devotions. Again, I forget most days. It absolutely drives me crazy. I have begun to wonder if it’s some conspiracy by the evil one to keep me from doing what I know I need to do. Like I said, this has wreked havoc in my personal/secular life as well. It’s terrible and embarressing. I try to keep notes and lists, but more often than not I forget to write things down too. What is wrong with me?? I would appreciate any thoughts or advice on this area. People get real tired of hearing, “I forgot.”

Thank you and God bless, Jen
 
Never underestimate the wiles of the devil. If forgetfulness is your weakness, he will indeed exploit it.

Pray. Try this prayer:
Saint Michael, Archangel, defend us in battle.
Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the Devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray;
And do thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host,
by the power of God, thrust into hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.
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You can also try this longer prayer which is more of a minor exorcism: smwa.org/St_Michael/Document_St_Michael_Exorcism.htm
 
You have no idea how often a day I say the prayer of St. Michael, although, I’ve never said it in direct response to this issue. I will check out the link you sent.

Thanks so much and God bless, Jen
 
The following helps, I know that for sure, because I do it all the time:

Ask Jesus, the Holy Spirit, or your guardian angel to help you remember. You’ll be surprised how generous they are. They WILL help you remember.

If you can remember 😃 send up prayers repeatedly throughout the day to improve your memory.

You also could place in highly visible places throughout the house notes to remind you do certain things.
 
ncpamd.com/Adult_ADD.htm

Perhaps you have an Adult attention deficit disorder…Check out this website and then if you think you have something that may agree with it, contact your family physician for a thorough exam. Pray, Pray and pray always. It may be as simple as learning techniques to handle it or perhaps a prescription medication will help your obvious distress.
 
Jen:

I’m right there with you - and I’ll admit to being 33.

There’s a lot of things going on in our lives today and it seems next to impossible to remember everything we need to do. I have been known to forget the one thing I went to the store for too!

I am wondering if you need accountability. You mentioned kids, but not husband - so I’ll just go with the following:

Try a calendar on the fridge, where you note the dates when Adoration is available - make it an appointment with yourself - make it as important as a doctor appointment! Maybe you could have a friend from church plan to go with you, call and remind you or the “meet you there” kind of thing. Might help with the motivation.

Do you have a regular confessor? Tell him you’d like to be there once a month - say every first Saturday. Then, you are obligated to show up when you’ve said you would. Tell the kids that every first Saturday you’ll all be going to church and those needing confession will be able to go. Again, the friend thing here might work.

We all need to be accountable to each other and to ourselves, but most of all to God. If the Holy Spirit has been prompting you to go to confession more often, you are missing out on the mountains of blessings by not making it a priority!

I’m a routine person - and my family, while not practicing Catholics and a little weirded out by my recent “reversion” - have recognized that I do certain things on certain days and they’re welcome to come along, but not too many things are allowed to take precedence over things that are important!

=)
Kat

ps - if it would help - I can PM you and ask if you’ve gone to confession or Adoration!
 
I used to have a similar memory problems, but then I got married and now I NEVER have the opportunity for forget anything. :whistle:
 
When you forget something, and then you are later reminded of it, do you -

A) say, “Oh yeah, how could I have forgotten that”
B) have no recollection of ever having known whatever you had forgotten.

Like if you can’t find your keys, when you find them do you say “ok, now I remember I left them there because I set them down with the mail on the counter”, or is it more like “??? what in the world ???”

Anyway, forgetfulness of type (A) is no big deal, whereas type (B), if it’s very frequent, could be a sign of something else with a neurological origin. Or so I’ve heard.
 
Memory is one of those brain functions that hasn’t quite been pinned down in the brain yet. They’re working on it, they just haven’t gotten there yet.

Are you on any regular medications? I don’t mean the occasional Claritin or Tylenol, I mean something daily. Because quite often medications have side effects of memory loss or forgetfulness and the manufacturers don’t put it on the label. Just ask your doctor, if you’re on medications, for a complete list of the side effects.

I have a good memory for books and an absolutely crummy one for people. I don’t know quite how it happens, but it does. When I went to college, I was sharing a suite-style dorm with 4 other girls. I couldn’t tell them apart! They all gave me their names, and I had to write them down on a sticky note, tack it to my pillow, and make up three mnemonics before I finally could remember all their names.

Actually, the sticky note on pillow method has always worked for me. In extreme cases I’ve put the note on my pillow, grabbed a piece of yarn, punched a hole in the sticky note, threaded it onto the yarn, and tied it around my wrist loosely. That way I wake up with “Do laundry” or “Call insurance company” attached to me and I have a personal rule that I won’t take it off until I’ve called the insurance company or whatever.

And, as usual, praying will do wonders. 😉
 
I just wanted to thank everyone who’s posted so far. I definitely agree on the accountablility thing. I’ll definitely try to enlist some help from my husband and kids. My kids are mostly pretty young (11, 6, 5, 3, and 2) but my oldest is pretty good at helping me remember things – that is, when she doesn’t forget too. Have I mentioned that I think it’s hereditary??? lol In actuality, she’s a great kid who, even when I forget that she’s grounded, she remembers and continues to ground herself for the allotted time (let’s hope that she stays that way, huh??).

In response to what kind of memory loss we’re talking about, it’s the A type – like slap myself upside the head, I can’t believe I forgot that, type of forgetfullness. Occasionally I can’t find keys or a piece of paper I need or something like that but that doesn’t happen very often.

I’m not on any medications currently but I do most likely have ADD and I also have fibromyalgia which, though it’s fairly mild in comparison to what some suffer, it does mess with my head I think and, after thinking about it, that could likely have something to do with this. I’ve always been rather scatter brained and had a lot of trouble in school until I learned how I needed to study in order to retain any information. I would score way up on the standardized tests but barely passed my classes depsite spending hours studying. When I started outlining my text books and putting what I was reading into writing, lo and behold, I passed tests with no problem.

So, I’ll keep praying, work on getting some accountablility, and maybe just try to be more organized. Of course, that’s been the mantra of my life too. When someone mentioned post-it notes, I was reminded of someone I heard of once who had a small hand held tape recorder. Whenever she needed to remember something throughout the day, she’d record a message to herself. Then she’d listen to her messages at certain times of the day. Just have to find something that works I guess.

Anyway, thank you all again very much. I was kind of down the other day and I can see that it showed through in my original post. It is very frustrating but I think it’s the way I was wired, so to speak, so I’ll keep praying and working on ways to overcome this weakness so that it can no longer be used against me.

Thanks again and God bless, Jen
 
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im_wildrose:
I’m not even sure if this belongs in this forum but I wasn’t sure where else to put it. I don’t know if there is something truly wrong with me, if I’m just, by nature, forgetful, or if there is something else at work with me. I’ve always been forgetful (before you start thinking age, I’m only 32). I forget birthdays, appointments, you name it, I’ve forgotten it. I even forgot a court case I needed to go to once. My huband jokes that I’m the only person he knows who can go to the store for milk, come back with 10 other things, but forget the milk.
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  1. Get a pocket-sized schedule book from the office supply store. Keep it handy and make it habit to check it at least daily.
  2. Go to the doctor and get a medical checkup. My mom had the same problem until the doctor discovered her thyroid gland had nearly stopped functioning. He started her on thyroid hormone replacement therapy and suddenly she could think clearly.
 
My goodness !!!

with 5 young kids, it’s amazing you even remember your own name ! You have every reason to forget things, I have none (now, I used to have 3 BUT they went to mom for most things) and I am just about as forgetful as you if not more so. I could go down the stairs 3 or 4 times and still not get done what I originally intended.

Some of it comes from just being a little too busy and too easily side tracked. With all those little ones, you have 5 distractions that will constantly be calling for your attention. I love kids and at the ages you have them at, they are a real joy. You are 5 times blessed, so take the time to let them divert you from other tasks and don’t feel bad if your little ones keep you off track.

They need your attention much more than whatever your chores may call for. Enjoy them while they are young, they grow up much too fast !

:blessyou:
 
Here’s a little story (typical for me):

Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests: I decided to wash my car. As I started toward the garage, I spotted the mail on the hall table.

I should go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay the car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the trash can under the table, and notice that the trash can is full.

So, I put the bills back on the table and take out the trash first…

Since I’m going to be near the mailbox when I take out the trash anyway, I might as well pay the bills first.

I see my checkbook on the table, but there is only one check left.

My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go to my desk, where I find the bottle of juice that I had been drinking.

I’m going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the juice aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over. But the juice is getting warm, and should be put into the refrigerator to keep it cold.

Heading toward the kitchen with the juice, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye. They need to be watered.

I set the juice down on the counter, and find my reading glasses, for which I’ve been searching all morning.

I had better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the counter, I fill a container with water, and suddenly spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table. Tonight when we sit down to watch TV, we will be looking for the remote, but nobody will remember that it’s on the kitchen table. I should put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers.

I splash some water on the flowers, but most of it spills on the floor.

So, I put the remote back down on the table, and get some towels to wipe up the spill.

Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

The car isn’t washed,

The bills aren’t paid,

There is a warm bottle of juice sitting on the counter,

The flowers aren’t watered,

There is still only one cheque in my chequebook,

I can’t find the remote,

I can’t find my glasses,

and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.

I’m trying to figure out why nothing got done today; it’s quite baffling because I know I was busy all day long, and I’m really tired. I know this is a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help for it, but first, I’ll check my email.
 
I used to be able to remember EVERYTHING w/o writing down a thing. It was great. Now I rely on sticky notes, a PDA, and a write-on/ wipe- off calendar. I’m 42.

I think it’s age and leading a busy life. Could it be ADD? Sure it could. I live w/ 3 ADDers and life is never dull. If you’re really worried go get evaluated. If not, buy sticky notes! —KCT
 
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im_wildrose:
I have begun to wonder if it’s some conspiracy by the evil one to keep me from doing what I know I need to do. Like I said, this has wreked havoc in my personal/secular life as well. It’s terrible and embarressing. I try to keep notes and lists, but more often than not I forget to write things down too. What is wrong with me?? I would appreciate any thoughts or advice on this area. People get real tired of hearing, “I forgot.”

Thank you and God bless, Jen
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I am sure there are many explanations for this forgetfulness. One can be the busy lifestyles that we can lead. Another has already benn mentioned, and that is the devil working against our turning to God.

Whatever the reason, you can try some exercises. Plan out your week. Check the calendar and mark it. Write out your schedule and place it on your bathroom mirror or in the visor of your car, or anyplace that you have to look at daily. Get into the habit of having good days (balancing chores and prayer, and family) planned so that you are not forgetting out of just plain being too busy. See if you can have one good week of doing just what you wanted to do. Then plan the next week. Once that stopping in at church is a habit, the rest will follow. I also have done computer searches of the neighboring parishes so that I can make masses at more than one place if I have to change the timing.

May God Bless you on your planning. You will find wonderful rewards when your life is more ordered and you make more room for worship.

I almost forgot to add, that when all else fails have a talk with St. Anthony. When I started this prayer time that included asking for his intercession I lost fewer things, remembered more and I got back on track faster.
 
Oh my goodness. I am just dying of laughter here after reading that post from WCKnight!!! You are too funny, but also so right on target. It’s funny. What you described is a very typical day for me as well but I don’t really notice it until I start thinking about it (or when reading something like that). When I notice it really badly is when my parents come to visit. My mother is the type of person who has it all together. She was born naturally organized I think and, even now at 70, has really got it together. She comes over and, in combining my usual distractedness with the dither I’m put in by their visit, and I’m a whirlwind of activity. I do exactly like what you said. I start doing something, see something else and drop the first project half way through and start that. That gets about half way done and then something else distracts me and I’m off again. It’s absolute insanity!!! lol And my poor mother stands there watching me and I can tell she’s not sure if she should finish the things I left sitting herself or just tie me down.

Oh, thank you all so much again. I am definitely in severe need of organization. I just hope that I’m able to put into practice what I know I need to do. I’ve tried a few “home organization” programs in the past and have had limited success. I’m currently plowing my way through “A Mother’s Rule of Life” by Holly Pierlot which I’ve heard wonderful things about and I’m hoping that she can help me. Thank you all again so very much. It means world’s to me.

God bless, Jen
 
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