Am I now in mortal sin?

  • Thread starter Thread starter TBolt1000T
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
T

TBolt1000T

Guest
In order for you to understand my situation, I have a lot of explaining to do, so please bare with me. I’m totally blind, and I depend on others for transportation to Mass. I normally use TARC 3, a local service that helps disabled people. TARC 3 says that they can deny service if the driveway isn’t cleared of ice and snow.

Of course, yesterday was Christmas, a holy day of obligation. I was being pressured by both my dad and my grandfather. They were both telling me that I needed to mis Mass and stay at my parents’ house for Christmas, to spend time with Mom, because she’s really sick right now. My grandfather even said that I was only thinking of myself by insisting on going to Mass. Neither my dad or my grandfather are Catholic. In addition to all of this, the weather people were predicting 3 to 5 inches of snow, which would have made my driveway impossible to get in and out of.

Yesterday morning, I set my alarm for 6:00 AM, and I was thinking about just sneaking out of my parents’ house and taking a cab to my apartment to catch the bus, or even all the way to church. There was no way for me to tell how much snow we got, until someone got up and told me, but everyone slept until after 8:00, and I didn’t want to wake anybody up. My TARC 3 ride was scheduled for 8:00. I felt bad about sneaking away to go to Mass against my dad’s wishes, so I didn’t do it. It was my heart’s desire to go to Mass, HDO or not, because it was Christmas. I ended up canceling the bus ride, since I figured that they would deny me service anyway, and I sent 5 of my friends from church an email, letting them know that I needed transportation. I never got a reply from any of them. Therefore, I had to miss Mass, because my dad was still pressuring me to stay with them. On top of all of that, it ended up that we only got about an inch and a half of snow, which meant that the bus may have not had any problem getting into my driveway after all, but I didn’t know this until after Dad had gotten up.

I’ve been worrying about this since yesterday morning, almost to the point of being sick, because I may be in mortal sin. I’m not officially Catholic yet (I may be coming into the Church this Easter,) and I’ve been told before that I’m not bound to the HDO’s yet, but I don’t know how reliable that source is. I had full knowledge that the Church teaches that it’s a mortal sin to miss Mass on an HDO. However, I wanted to go to Mass really bad, and it breaks my heart that I didn’t get to go. I felt like I was in a catch 22, where no matter what I did, I had to break one commandment to keep the other. Am I now in mortal sin?
 
TBolt1000T said:
In order for you to understand my situation, I have a lot of explaining to do, so please bare with me. I’m totally blind, and I depend on others for transportation to Mass. I normally use TARC 3, a local service that helps disabled people. TARC 3 says that they can deny service if the driveway isn’t cleared of ice and snow.

Of course, yesterday was Christmas, a holy day of obligation. I was being pressured by both my dad and my grandfather. They were both telling me that I needed to mis Mass and stay at my parents’ house for Christmas, to spend time with Mom, because she’s really sick right now. My grandfather even said that I was only thinking of myself by insisting on going to Mass. Neither my dad or my grandfather are Catholic. In addition to all of this, the weather people were predicting 3 to 5 inches of snow, which would have made my driveway impossible to get in and out of.

Yesterday morning, I set my alarm for 6:00 AM, and I was thinking about just sneaking out of my parents’ house and taking a cab to my apartment to catch the bus, or even all the way to church. There was no way for me to tell how much snow we got, until someone got up and told me, but everyone slept until after 8:00, and I didn’t want to wake anybody up. My TARC 3 ride was scheduled for 8:00. I felt bad about sneaking away to go to Mass against my dad’s wishes, so I didn’t do it. It was my heart’s desire to go to Mass, HDO or not, because it was Christmas. I ended up canceling the bus ride, since I figured that they would deny me service anyway, and I sent 5 of my friends from church an email, letting them know that I needed transportation. I never got a reply from any of them. Therefore, I had to miss Mass, because my dad was still pressuring me to stay with them. On top of all of that, it ended up that we only got about an inch and a half of snow, which meant that the bus may have not had any problem getting into my driveway after all, but I didn’t know this until after Dad had gotten up.

I’ve been worrying about this since yesterday morning, almost to the point of being sick, because I may be in mortal sin. I’m not officially Catholic yet (I may be coming into the Church this Easter,) and I’ve been told before that I’m not bound to the HDO’s yet, but I don’t know how reliable that source is. I had full knowledge that the Church teaches that it’s a mortal sin to miss Mass on an HDO. However, I wanted to go to Mass really bad, and it breaks my heart that I didn’t get to go. I felt like I was in a catch 22, where no matter what I did, I had to break one commandment to keep the other. Am I now in mortal sin?
Click to expand...
No.

Don’t worry about it. If you purposefully didn’t go or didn’t want to go to mass, that would be different. I’m sure the Almighty understands your situation.

If you’re still worried about it, confess it at your next opportunity for confession.

BTW, how are you able to read and post on the CAF without being able to see?
 
TBolt1000T said:
I use a screen reader, which uses a speach synthesizer to read the screen to me.
Click to expand...
I would not worry about it. Sometimes things get in the way of going such as weather, and another thing if your mother isn’t well, it’s an act of charity to be with her. I believe that this supersedes Mass on occasion.

My husband has been ill at times, so I know what you’re going through, but I felt if I left him alone while I went to Mass he could have fallen down or gotten worse.

If you feel better about it, talk to a priest, but I’m sure that he would understand. It’s when you’re lazy and DON’T want to go to Mass, that it’s a mortal sin. Also, if you get EWTN it would be handy to listen to the Mass on occasions that you can’t go. You inspire us because here you are blind, and some see and won’t go. God Bless you.
 
Josh,

As the previous poster said your circumstances were such that you could not get to mass, and thus no sin on your part. I would say that your efforts were laudable. Your father and grandfather may not understand how much your faith means to you; however, I don’t like to think what might have happened if you sneaked out of the house. Surely they would have been very worried. If I may ask, what point are you at in your journey to become Catholic?
 
PattiDay said:
Josh,

As the previous poster said your circumstances were such that you could not get to mass, and thus no sin on your part. I would say that your efforts were laudable. Your father and grandfather may not understand how much your faith means to you; however, I don’t like to think what might have happened if you sneaked out of the house. Surely they would have been very worried. If I may ask, what point are you at in your journey to become Catholic?
Click to expand...
Technicly, I’m still a candidate. I went through the RCIA process back in 2008-2009, but I backed out during April of 2009, not long before I was to be confirmed. Now I’m back, and the RCIA director at the parish I attend says that there’s no need to put me through the classes again, since I’ve been through the process already. I may be ready to come into the Church this coming Easter, but if that doesn’t work out, I hope to come into the Church the following Easter.

Is it true about candidates not being bound to the HDO’s, or was that just a misinformed statement?
 
TBolt1000T said:
In order for you to understand my situation, I have a lot of explaining to do, so please bare with me. I’m totally blind, and I depend on others for transportation to Mass. I normally use TARC 3, a local service that helps disabled people. TARC 3 says that they can deny service if the driveway isn’t cleared of ice and snow.

Of course, yesterday was Christmas, a holy day of obligation. I was being pressured by both my dad and my grandfather. They were both telling me that I needed to mis Mass and stay at my parents’ house for Christmas, to spend time with Mom, because she’s really sick right now. ?
Click to expand...
no there is no sin
if you cannot get to Mass you have no obligation
helping to care for a sick person is also a legitimate reason to miss Mass
if you have not yet been received into full communion with the Church, you also have no obligation as yet

be sure the pastor and people preparing you for sacraments fully understand your situation regarding transportation, the opposition from your family and other obstacles. They should not allow these to delay your reception into the Church.
 
puzzleannie said:
no there is no sin
if you cannot get to Mass you have no obligation
helping to care for a sick person is also a legitimate reason to miss Mass
Click to expand...
The thing that has me most concerned, is that I could have just told Dad that I would go to Mass anyway, no matter what he said, and I could have called a cab to pick me up to take me, but I didn’t, because of the pressure from Dad and my grandfather to stay home and visit with my sick mom, who was so sick that she couldn’t make it to either the Christmas Eve or Christmas day family get-togethers. I couldn’t take care of her, because there was really nothing I could do but let her rest, but I could visit with her, which Dad wanted me to do, and which I did. I don’t know if that would count as an exemption.

This is the worst Christmas I’ve ever had, and it’s things like this that can make me question whether the Catholic Church is where I need to be.
 
TBolt1000T said:
The thing that has me most concerned, is that I could have just told Dad that I would go to Mass anyway, no matter what he said, and I could have called a cab to pick me up to take me, but I didn’t, because of the pressure from Dad and my grandfather to stay home and visit with my sick mom, who was so sick that she couldn’t make it to either the Christmas Eve or Christmas day family get-togethers. I couldn’t take care of her, because there was really nothing I could do but let her rest, but I could visit with her, which Dad wanted me to do, and which I did. I don’t know if that would count as an exemption.

This is the worst Christmas I’ve ever had, and it’s things like this that can make me question whether the Catholic Church is where I need to be.
Click to expand...
I am very sorry that it has been the worst Christmas ever. There is one good thing though, you provided a service. Listen to the Gospel and the Catechism on this topic.

Matthew 25 verses 35 through 40:

Then the king will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father. Inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me, naked and you clothed me, ill and you cared for me, in prison and you visited me.’ Then the righteous will answer him and say, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? When did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? When did we see you ill or in prison, and visit you?’ And the king will say to them in reply, ‘Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.’

From the Catholic Catechism, a portion of number 2181 “… the faithful are obliged to participate in the Eucharist on days of obligation, unless excused for a serious reason (for example, illness, the care of infants)…”

And from Catechism 2185:

On Sundays and other holy days of obligation, the faithful are to refrain from engaging in work or activities that hinder the worship owed to God, the joy proper to the Lord’s Day, the performance of the works of mercy, and the appropriate relaxation of mind and body. Family needs or important social service can legitimately excuse from the obligation of Sunday rest. The faithful should see to it that legitimate excuses do not lead to habits prejudicial to religion, family life, and health.
 
If you really wanted to go to Mass but couldn’t because of your father then I don’t see how this could be a mortal sin. Talk to your confessor about this. He’ll know for sure.
 
You made a significant effort to find a way to Mass, though it would’ve been better to call, rather than e-mail for a ride. God won’t punish us for doing or not doing what we can’t help, so I don’t think you’re in mortal sin. I hope you’re able to join the Church at Easter.
 
TBolt1000T said:
The thing that has me most concerned, is that I could have just told Dad that I would go to Mass anyway, no matter what he said, and I could have called a cab to pick me up to take me, but I didn’t, because of the pressure from Dad and my grandfather to stay home and visit with my sick mom, who was so sick that she couldn’t make it to either the Christmas Eve or Christmas day family get-togethers. I couldn’t take care of her, because there was really nothing I could do but let her rest, but I could visit with her, which Dad wanted me to do, and which I did. I don’t know if that would count as an exemption.

This is the worst Christmas I’ve ever had, and it’s things like this that can make me question whether the Catholic Church is where I need to be.
Click to expand...
Aww Josh.
I’m SO SORRY about your Christmas. I got stuck here myself because of the ice/snow or I would have picked you up. You are not in mortal sin, don’t be so hard on yourself ok?
The Church doesn’t want you to feel so burdened like this… remember, God is Love 🙂
If it’s any consolation, my Christmas wasn’t all that great either, the only thing that was good about it was that I got to watch The Nativity (movie) & spend lots of time alone with God. I had no family over, no tree, no presents… just me and God. 😉
 
TBolt1000T said:
This is the worst Christmas I’ve ever had, and it’s things like this that can make me question whether the Catholic Church is where I need to be.
Click to expand...
your family was certainly less than charitable to you, but that is hardly reason to abandon the Church. Please contact the pastor again, explain the situation and ask for help getting to church, to RCIA and to make sure you are not being held back if you are already close to finishing. The circumstances meant you could not get to Mass, so you had no obligation.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top