Am I obligated?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Rosary_Miracles
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
R

Rosary_Miracles

Guest
I found a RC church that I absolutely love very close to where I live. I will be attending Mass there sometimes during the week and on Sunday.

My close friend doesn’t drive but she lives in another city far from my church home…I get driving anxiety so the less I drive the better…

Am I obligated to pick her up and take her to my Church, or should she just goes to Mass near to her with her family…? How do I approach her with this concern?
 
Last edited:
Especially given that she has access to Mass near her, you have no obligation. Even if she did not have a nearby Mass, I can’t see that you have any obligation.
 
No, I did not make any promises, I used to take her to a mass closer to her home but it was on a very dangerous street and I wanted to find my own church home close to where I live…so I guess she will just have to go to mass with her family…I want to go to church in my community and the drive is a peaceful breeze.
 
Your friend lives far from your church.
Your friend has a church near her where she can attend Mass, with her family.
You have difficulty driving.

In view of these three circumstances, I’m not seeing any obligation here for you to help your friend get to Mass. She has a perfectly good church and Mass near her that will fulfill her obligations. If she would rather attend your church instead, perhaps she can make other transportation arrangements, such as taking the bus, getting someone else to drive her, getting her own car. Or at some point she can move closer to your church.

I would simply tell your friend that you have difficulty driving and feel it is better for you to drive less because you don’t want to get nervous and have an accident or have to go rest up from an anxiety attack. Therefore, you can’t be picking her up and driving her to your church all the time. Suggest that she attend Mass at the church by her house or make her own travel arrangements if she wants to join you at yours. A true friend will understand that you have difficulty driving a lot.

It’s good for her to attend Mass with her family also. Families should be spending time together on Sunday.
 
Last edited:
Thank you…unfortunetly she doesn’t have the option to drive due to physical disabilities…if we lived close by to the same church I would for sure, happily drive her…but this situation is different and going to the church near her house causes extreme panic attacks, and she knows that…
Her family go to mass every Sunday and always invite her…so hopefully everything will work out and she will go to mass with her parents
 
Gently suggest to her that she should go with her parents, because you just aren’t physically up to taking her to church, your doctor says you should avoid panic triggers, etc.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
She has a perfectly good church and Mass near her that will fulfill her obligations
Click to expand...
That’s a presumption. I left the Church closest to me because of the abuses I got tired of seeing week after week.
 
No, there’s no obligation. And given your current circumstances, it’s OK to draw a healthy boundary with being unable to transport her. I would suggest that she call her parish office and ask about transportation options. Many parishes have carpools or ministries to transport the elderly and disabled.
 
Thomasbradley312 said:
That’s a presumption. I left the Church closest to me because of the abuses I got tired of seeing week after week.
Click to expand...
There is no indication that the church near her is not a valid church for fulfilling one’s Sunday obligations. Not everyone has the luxury of church-shopping and frankly, there are people in this world who do not have a Mass near them to attend at all.

If one wants to go hunting for a Catholic church they like in USA, then be prepared to drive, take the bus, Uber or Lyft, etc. You can’t just expect your friends who have driving difficulties to be driving you long distances or into bad neighborhoods to take you to a Catholic church you prefer.
 
The Precepts of the Church don’t permit us to miss Mass on Sundays and holy days of obligation simply because we prefer some other type of liturgy. So if one wants to commit a deliberate mortal sin, perhaps repeatedly, and in addition not be able to receive the Eucharist, until one finds and is able to attend a church one “prefers”, then that is a matter to take up with one’s confessor.

I’m not going to risk dying in mortal sin or displeasing God, much less being away from Jesus in the Eucharist, because I don’t like the hymns or the Sign of Peace or whatever at Church A and am waiting till I can find a Mass I like better at Church B.

But in any event, one doesn’t get to impose themselves on their friends for transportation just because one doesn’t like the Mass in their neighborhood.
 
There are nothing but GREAT RC churches all around us. And my friend loves them all. This is just a matter of me driving less to get to a parish near me.
The parishes her family go to are amazing and she agrees with that. If I lived close to them I would certainly go and bring my friend along…
But the drive gives me anxiety so I will stick to the parish closest to me with the safest (less panic) route that unfortunately is way far away from my friend.
I just don’t want her to feel sad that we aren’t going together or that now she has to go with her family…
 
Rosary_Miracles said:
I just don’t want her to feel sad that we aren’t going together or that now she has to go with her family…
Click to expand...
She may very well feel sad that you will no longer be attending Mass together but I bet she’ll also understand the reasons. Perhaps assuring her that that you will try to get together for other occasions when possible or keeping close contact over the phone so she won’t feel like she’s losing all contact with you.
 
Can someone tell me how saying EWTN has nice masses goes against the forum rules?
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top