Am I too sensitive?

[no1special]

What do you do when someone else’s negative opinion of you precedes you with someone you’ve just met?

There’s friction between a family member and me. I’m cordial to family member, but I have not sought to be in her circle of friends. During an informal gathering, I met one of family member’s friend who dismissed me and positioned herself with her back to me while she spoke to other people in the group.

I tried making small talk with her, but she quickly answered without even looking at me. She continued talking to other newcomers.

Am i being too sensitive? Should i just chalk this up to someone who just won’t accept me and move on? Or should i try to “prove” I’m not as bad as she may have heard? I thought this was only in the high school years.

 

[Tulitas]

I wouldn’t give it another thought.
This is a snub. Pray for the person and also for the family member who is maligning you/ Forgive it and move on.
God bless.

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

You won’t get along with everyone. Your family member has the right to like someone more than she likes you. I have 3 brothers. One I get along with well, one I get along with ok and another…well…we don’t hate each other, but we aren’t exactly friends. That’s just the way the cookie crumbles.

 

[JanSobieskiIII]

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[Timeflies2me]

I was the same in Highschool and it seems after its just the same. I wouldnt speak for myself, because I think really different and its something I worry about too. But in regards, there are just some people who arent interested in others. Either way, just brush off and hopefully some people will be more prone to accept you. I really don’t have anything to put on the table, but this kind of relates to me in a way so yeah. You arent alone.

 

[1Lord1Faith]

These things you mention appear to be assumptions. Just move on.

Hopefully you’re just too sensitive. Some people have been raised to feel perpetually disrespected

 

[Loud-living-dogma]

This person just sounds rude. Hard to know what that person is thinking. I would just try to ignore it if you can.

 

[Seagull]

Keep being who you are in Jesus !

And don’t cry…while being forgiving…in your heart.

 

[Dan_Defender]

There will always be people who don’t like you. That happened to Jesus and all the saints too so do not be discouraged and move on.

 

[Irishmom2]

Why would you care about proving anything to someone you don’t even know? If this person is not your friend already, but is a friend of your relative, just let it be. They will have loyalty to their friend anyway. Surely you have friends that know the real you, so don’t worry about strangers.

 

[Kei]

I don’t know what that was. Let’s not assume the worst. Maybe she just didn’t know you were trying to make a good impression and was immersed already with her friends?

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I thought this was only in the high school years.

When I hit my 40s and started to socialize more after spending much of my 30s as a relative hermit, I was really amazed by how incredibly immature a whole lot of other “people my age” acted. Some people apparently just grow older rather than grow up. Those are the kind of people you do NOT need in your life. Ignore them and move on.

 

[no1special]

We’re new to the area and I was meeting for the first time in a start up group for new mothers in the area. This person knew the woman leading the group and there was one other mom new to the group as well. The group was also meant for our children to make friends with each other.

I personally don’t feel upset that I don’t have a close relationship with family member. But I was hopeful to meet some other moms with common interests and i was just disheartened by the snub.

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

We’re new to the area and I was meeting for the first time in a start up group for new mothers in the area. This person knew the woman leading the group and there was one other mom new to the group as well. The group was also meant for our children to make friends with each other.

I personally don’t feel upset that I don’t have a close relationship with family member. But I was hopeful to meet some other moms with common interests and i was just disheartened by the snub.

So tired mothers of young children who are working hard to start up a new group didn’t shower you with attention?

I would not assume snub, but rather simply moms who are overwhelmed and may not have been putting on the best social graces.

I’m in mom’s groups. Incorporating new people is really hard at times. Some of the other mothers and I have special needs kids and sometimes we just really, really need to talk and it’s the first time in 2 months we’ve actually seen each other because between the 3 of us we have 9 kids under 5 and some school age and someone’s been sick or school was out or whatever.

I admit, that sometimes I don’t give new people much time…but sometimes a “hi” is all I have in me. Not snubbing them, just don’t have the energy to care.

 

[angell1]

hard to say. she may have been more busy or distracted by other people.

but let’s say that you family member did give a negative opinion about you, well it’s really this person’s problem if she just decided to ignore someone based on a third person’s opinion instead of getting to know you and letting you make your own impression. Those are not the kind of friends you want in your life, trust me on that.

an yes, an inordinate amount of “adults” act like they are stil; in high school and bring drama wherever they go, many people simply don’t mature

 

[QwertyGirl]

We live in a huge world with lots of people. Spend your time with people who like you.

Other than that, you are too sensitive only if you let this kind of thing upset you and make you miserable. It is natural to recognize what happened and to find it distasteful. Yuck.

I am sure you have wonderful qualities and plenty of people will love and appreciate you exactly as you are. Don’t base your self worth on the actions of the person you described.

 

[guanophore]

What do you do when someone else’s negative opinion of you precedes you with someone you’ve just met?

It is an uphill battle. But, you just be yourself, pray that others will see you the way God sees you, and especially pray for the person who has been spreading negative gossip.

There’s friction between a family member and me.

What causes that?

During an informal gathering, I met one of family member’s friend who dismissed me and positioned herself with her back to me while she spoke to other people in the group.

A person who will do this is not worth investing your energy. Pray for her, but realize that, if she did talk to you, it is most likely she would use anything you say against you by gossiping. You are better off not interacting with such people.

I tried making small talk with her, but she quickly answered without even looking at me. She continued talking to other newcomers.

Good for you, for reaching out, but now it has been confirmed to you that this is not where your energy should be invested. IT is her loss, because you are someone who is sensitive to others, and she has missed a good potential friend.

Am i being too sensitive?

No, but it is important that you listen to what your “senses” are telling you. When a person spurns you like this, there is usually a very good reason. It is likely you are being spared much grief. A person who is not willing to accept you for yourself and is swayed so much by the negative opinions of others is too shallow for your investment in a relationship.

Should i just chalk this up to someone who just won’t accept me and move on?

Absolutely, but you should also pray for her, and for whoever it is that is spewing negativity that has poisoned the possibility.

Or should i try to “prove” I’m not as bad as she may have heard?

Certainly NOT!! It is not a good investment of your time and energy. Be Christ to her, as you may be the only Christ she has ever encountered, but you have no need to “prove” anything.

I thought this was only in the high school years.

I wish this were true, but about half the population never grows beyond adolescence, and continue to engage in adolescent behavior throughout their lives. It is sufficient that you have gone beyond this.

 

[goodcatholic]

ah the games people play. and even or especially with family members. I tend to be sensitive too but that doesn’t mean their behaviour isn’t bad.
Take up your cross daily is all I can think of sorry.

 

[guanophore]

But I was hopeful to meet some other moms with common interests and i was just disheartened by the snub.

Do not lose heart! God will lead you, and you will meet whoever you need to meet. You need to be open that He will guide you, and put those persons in your life He wants you to know.

 

[TheOldColonel]

Such disrespect is intolerable. I would confront it in a very public fashion the moment it would happen again. Indeed, don’t stand behind her. Walk directly in front of her and address the behavior.